I'm sarcastic and witty too. Not like cocky funny, more like fun and argh . Here let me give you an example.
While the princess is sleeping, waiting for true love's kiss to wake her up, ya, I'm the guy writing on her forehead with magic marker, lipstick, and whip cream, saying, "She's gonna be so pissed when she wakes up".
Life should be fun. There's not enough time to be serious, or worrying about anything. Anyone who tells you otherwise, I promise they're the passive aggressive type, and they're jealous of a guy like me.
So if you wanna be my +1 to the big boys and big girls special invite party, send me a fun message. If we have chemistry, then we'll go to the party.
Gotta nice dress? It's a formal party.
Kissing some more.
Being rejected again.
Groaning and sighing.
Excusing myself for a minute.
Rubbing one out.
Behaving for the rest of the night.
Love you Gam Gam!
Okay, I'm back. I couldn't think of six, but here it goes.
My heart. It's a vital organ.
Honey Bunches of Oats.
I carry an innebulizer with me. You know, that little "flashy thing" from Men in Black to erase people's memories. I use it on myself after bad dates.
Bobcat Goldthwait....don't ask
My daughters, most importantly!
......or, fart jokes.
Uniting orphan children with loving families
Building charitable organizations for "Toddlers that can't read good, and probably can't do other things good, too".
Flipping water bottles perfectly
Taking "butt" selfies
Not trying to impress you!