48 Seattle, United States
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My self-summary
Honesty is a big one, without that, there is nothing else - but you need to actually talk to get that across, so I guess communication has to be first, but it cannot since honesty is already there. Sort of a chicken and an egg thing, isn't it?

I use this "-" a lot. Maybe it's a pause, maybe I am catching a breath, or maybe it's because Zim is forcing me to use it.

I have a dark and wacky sense of humor, which gets me into trouble a lot but ends up becoming a pretty good filter. Either you laugh because you are witty enough to understand the jokes or you are accommodating enough to laugh even when you don't - both of which are highly-desirable qualities in a partner.

I have been known to swing a pretty mean carving knife, my head swinging back in maniacal laughter as I rip the damp cold heart out of heads of lettuce and slice, with deadly precision, the eyes out of potatoes. My tortures continue for hours as my hapless victims are boiled in oil, skewered from rump to tip on stakes of stainless steel, pressed against a cast iron brand, flayed to ribbons, and sent to the furnace.

Safety Notice: the previous paragraph was not placed in the "I'm really good at." section.
What I’m doing with my life
I walk to work each day to a small company (about 26 people) in a dusty old red brick building with uneven floors and wood beams larger than trees are even allowed to grow nowadays. We work on a project basis, so we are either extraordinarily busy or so dead it makes my teeth wiggle.
I’m really good at
I have the super-unconscious ability to identify, hone in on, and fall in love with flakes, from social flakes to corn flakes. Couple that with the super-conscious inability to recognize all the aspects of my super-unconscious ability, then you have my life to date. I think it's time I switch to oatmeal or maybe shredded wheat (although wheat does give me the burpees and oats the farts. Rice maybe?).
The first things people usually notice about me
Usually nothing. I am a chameleon, blending into the background. Once they notice me, people then swear that they have met me before or know me from some time in the distant past - which is perfect for a secret agent.

Then again, why did I admit this? You could be a secret double agent out to get me.

umm - my eyes, that is it! You notice my eyes. Look deep into my eyes. You are getting very sleepy. Let the weight of the world wash away. You don't think I am a secret agent. When I count to 10, you will awake free and happy.

I tend to get compliments about my ass - or are they saying that I am an ass. It is hard to tell the difference sometimes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
reading: I mostly enjoy fiction, stories about places and events far removed from everyday life - but my favorite genre is fabulism, go figure. Some of my favorite authors are: James P Blaylock, David Brin, George RR Martin, China Mieville, Timothy Zahn, Lemony Snicket, and Edward Gorey.

movies: Better Off Dead, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, The Fifth Element, 300, anything by Miyazaki, Amelie, City of Lost Children, Pi, The Princess Bride, Buckaroo Bonzai, James Bond, Memento, Serenity, Delicatessen, Big Trouble in Little China, Dark City, Secretary, Lord of the Rings trilogy, A Knight's Tale (yea, I said it, deal), and Underworld

television: Game of Thrones, Tabletop, Critical Role, Battlestar Galactica, Invader Zim, Farscape, Buffy, Firefly, Samurai Champloo, Babylon5, and The Animaniacs.

podcasts: (I listen to a lot of them while walking back and forth to work) Real Synthetic Audio, Monstercat, Savage Love, 99% Invisible, Planet Money, TED, Freakonomics, Rachel Maddow, The Skeptics Guide to the Universe, Scathing Atheist, Skepticrat, Nerdist, Elements, Star Talk
The six things I could never do without
- brraaaains …
- imagination (probably would be dead already if I didn't have this)
- clean laundry (only way to prevent alien abduction while asleep; Arm & Hammer isn't just a brand name) Who am I kidding, I don't wear clothes to bed. Beam me up, Scotty.
- water (preferably warm and falling downwards onto me or cold and pouring into me)
- playfulness (didn't lose it, wish others hadn't)
- health (keep the HP bar full, newb)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How I can hybridize my flowers to release a stun gas when their flowers are stolen - just need to knock out the thieves long enough to kick them in the taint.
On a typical Friday night I am
I used to be saving the world from horrible destruction, but it got too tedious - besides I don't know anymore if you people want me save you by the way you've been voting.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am a very tactile person, meh words.
You should message me if
... if you need a partner for the end of the world.