49Madison, United States
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My self-summary
I rejoined the dating scene a few years ago after overcoming the loss of my long term partner to cancer. I’ve made some neat new friends on okcupid. My next boyfriend helped me get over my tendency to be shy, and to catch up on some of the fun I missed out on in my cautious youth, but after two years we decided we make better friends than partners.

I grew up hopping from continent to continent every four years or so, became fascinated by computer science at the age of 14, came to Madison for grad school, and put down roots. I’m a software developer by trade, and author the occasional technical book for O’Reilly Media. I enjoy mixing music (especially EDM and bouncy alt songs), hanging out with friends, theater, film, writing, photography, biking, skiing, reading, languages, world travel, and videogames (although I don’t find time for games as much as I used to; these days it’s mostly casual ones like Rock Band).

I am sincere, romantic, and cosmopolitan.
What I’m doing with my life
I’m enjoying reconnecting with someone special after sixteen years in a relationship with a wonderful man who was taken from me in 2008. The two of us are somewhat unexpectedly launching a fun avocation playing music and running light and laser shows for a growing audience. During the day I write software for a small company full of smart people, which is a great gig. I hang out with my friends, make waves at Plan B, DJ music and post mixes online now and then. I like to eat great food, watch films and plays, read a lot, keep myself in shape, go on the occasional fabulous cruise. Actually, I have a lot less time for reading now, I’m having so much fun with with people.

While we were at AnimeIowa, Metahari introduced me to OkCupid and convinced me to sign up. I have to say, I like how it encouraged me to have fun expressing myself and figuring out, in a fun and friendly way, who I might want to meet. I’ve made some lasting friends here.

I’m so happy to find that life can offer more than one wonderful relationship, and though I will always miss and love Joe, I know he would be proud of the new adventures I’ve embarked on. I find myself re-engaged with the world, grateful to be alive and loved again.
I’m really good at
Designing and implementing software systems, figuring out technology, communicating verbally, and explaining seemingly complex things to others. I was also somewhat surprised to find that I was good at maintaining a stable, secure, loving home for a partner who was facing a terminal illness, though I hope not to have to reuse those skills for a long time.

I also excel at tripping over my tongue in any language when I meet someone attractive.
The first things people usually notice about me
Probably my smile. A closer look reveals it as a bashful, boyish smile, with dimples. My friend Vic tries to talk about my puppy dog eyes, but I think she’s just trying to embarrass me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I have a real hard time picking favorites. I need to wander the many bookshelves at home and pick a few highlights. For now (I’m on the road), I’ll mention that “Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid” really set the direction of my life at around the age of fourteen. I love things ranging from Madison’s own Joan D. Vinge (especially “Catspaw” and “The Snow Queen”) to Bertrand Russell.

Movies… pretty eclectic, from classics to some niche anime. For music, head to my site to see and hear a detailed answer.

For foods, growing up all over the world, I found things to love everywhere. For a comfort meal, authentic Italian cooking like Osteria Papavero is hard to beat. For fantastic fusion, I’ve been loving Restaurant Muramoto on King St. lately. I eat lunch at Curry in the Box at least once a week. And the cocktails at Merchant Madison are the best you will find anywhere, made the original way with real ingredients, and their ever-changing menu of excellent food is available until late into the night. Once my friend Scott finally opens up his full-service restaurant, I expect it to become my favorite.
Six things I could never do without
In the last few years I’ve learned it’s possible to do without a heck of a lot. A couple things I’d hate to give up are my health, my sense of humor, my friends, music, books, and the Internet. And I’m so glad I did not have to do without affection and intimacy for too long!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Lately, who I am, who I want to be, and who I will end up sharing life with next. How my friends help with that, and how much fun I have with them, both silly and profound.
On a typical Friday night I am
Working out, heading home for dinner, and deciding between visiting a club, exploring new music and working on a mix, or reading something. And then deciding, what the heck, I want to see what my friends are up to at Club 5.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
In retrospect, it took me a really silly amount of time to figure out that the sexual fantasies I was having in my early teens were about the *men*. Ah well, denial can be such a powerful thing!
You should message me if
You'd like to know more about me, or maybe get together for a drink or dinner sometime and see how we click.
The two of us