I'm a lover not a fighter. Playful yet ambitious, content where I am but striving for greatness. A bit of a smart ass. Self-aware, emotionally resilient. Masculine but non-traditional, fierce yet nurturing. I'm not afraid to wear bright colors, and I'm not afraid of intimacy. Feminist. Alpha nerd. Totally aware of my own ridiculous privilege. Busy with work and play, but not too busy to make time for you. Honest, sometimes to a fault. A little arrogant sometimes, but I know it's a flaw and it happens less as I get older and understand deeply the difference between knowing I'm awesome and thinking I'm better than anyone else. If we become close I'm loyal and will take good care of you and go out of my way to help you. I love kids and animals but don't currently have or want any. I don't take anything too seriously, including myself. I am fundamentally kind. I understand that the world is amazing.
I am in a long-term open relationship. If you're exclusively looking for single guys, this is the perfect time to stop reading; I don't get any more single further down. My partner and I live together and are deeply committed, but we don't identify our relationship as primary, and I won't label you as secondary: Let's let what happens between us find its own level, whatever that may be.
For the right people, I'm a total catch.
When I'm not working, I'm often dancing. In a good week I will blues dance and take African and hiphop classes, but I'm busy so there aren't a lot of good weeks. I travel often for blues dance. I am interested in learning more salsa, zouk, and tango, so if you're interested in those hit me up.
When I'm not working or dancing, I'm often making music, mostly piano and some singing. I play a little guitar. [I play with little skill; the guitar is regular-sized.] Musical collaborators welcome.
When I'm not working or dancing or making music, I'm hanging out with friends and loved ones, relaxing, going for walks, having long talks, figuring stuff out, cooking, bouldering, making mischief, watching sunsets, reading, being silly, taking you on an awesome date. I leave a lot of time for these things because they are important.
Music: Ray Charles. Ratatat. Artists that don't start with 'Ra'. When I was 14 and I had a giant crush on Suzie Evans from my class, I asked her what kind of music she liked and she said "eclectic" and that was the most adorable answer ever. Smart and sophisticated! Over the years I realized that almost everybody describes their tastes as eclectic, but I still think of her a little each time. Anyways, my music tastes are eclectic. Just like yours. No, really. I probably can't overemphasize how much I like music. Let's talk about it. Let's stay up all night playing our favorite songs for each other. Let's bust out singing.
Food: Real food from real ingredients. Home cooking. Foodie restaurants. High-quality burgers. Tacos. Yes to food!
Movies: 12 Monkeys. Spirited Away. Up. Moonrise Kingdom. Shawshank Redemption. City of Lost Children. Brick. Strictly Ballroom. The Hudsucker Proxy.
TV: The Wire. Avatar: The Last Airbender. Mad Men. Archer. Arrested Development. House. Breaking Bad. BoJack Horseman. Rick and Morty.
Fiction: Mieville. Le Guin. Chabon. Morgan. Vance. Murakami. Byatt.
Nonfiction: Books about brain science, love, sex, meditation, math, animals, infrastructure. Academic papers about artificial intelligence and signal processing and the auditory system.
I don't check the 'casual sex' box but if there were a 'causal sex' box I'd check that. I'm very interested in causal sex: sex that was caused by something.
That moment in the Little Mermaid when Sebastian says "Will you get your head out of the clouds and back in the water where it belongs?" and Ariel says "I'll swim up to his castle, then Flounder will splash around to get his attention, and then..." and Sebastian cuts her off. But I always wonder: "and then WHAT?" What good thing could possibly happen next? What was she going to say?
Whether I should fib and say I'm 2" taller or a little younger, which I hear is the norm on OKC? [If it says 5'4" and 44, I decided not to fib.] People often think I'm a little taller because I have a ton of confidence and presence but if you're only into tall dudes I am not for you.
* Yeah, that's right, I just admitted I like studying math. Sometimes even on a Friday night. If you're not cool with that we're probably not a good match.
I buy three books a week and I read one book every three weeks. At least it often feels that way. I'm trying to cut down. I have learned that the Japanese have a word for this: tsundoku.
In bed I'm generally dominant and kinky. Of course GGG and it doesn't have to be the same way with everyone, but I usually prefer being toppy. I'm more the "take charge" sort of dominant than the "we need lots of equipment" sort, although I have plenty of toys. My mind is full of dirty thoughts. Just like yours I hope.
I love drawing but I'm not very good at it.
I do not love camping. I want to love it but I don't. I love being outside, but I'm really more of a hike or ride bikes all day and then eat a fancy dinner and stay in a nice hotel with a super comfy bed and a two-person jacuzzi tub kind of guy. I am open to exploring this more.
- You can make me laugh.
- You're into good food and cooking.
- You're down with new facial hair every couple of months.
- You want to dance with me.
- You're wicked smart.
- You want to make music together.
- You think nerds are hot.
- You're sex-positive.
- You understand that the world is amazing, and leaving it a better place than you found it is important to you.
- You don't want me to talk dirty to you when I first message you back, but you want me to talk very very dirty to you eventually.
- You're big into physical affection and cuddling and making out.
- You want to connect both emotionally and physically.
- You have a song you've been listening to 100 times in a row and you want to share it. Seriously to all of you who have done this, thank you.
I'm open to exceptions, but we're *probably* not a good match if:
- You spend more time watching sports than watching movies or reading.
- You spend most of your year planning for Burning Man.
- You're vegan.
Musicians, dancers, artists and scientists of all stripes are especially welcome.