69Beaverton, United States
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My self-summary
I was born in a time warp, and I've been trying to escape it all my life. My grandfather Martin was born in 1849. I never knew him, but his strong personality has affected my life. It's not that he was evil, but he was a strong person of his time, and he has pulled me into his time. My father spent his life trying to escape Martin's pull, but he only got a little bit away. I have gotten further, but I still have a ways to go.

I was born a preacher's kid PK in the Midwest near the midpoint of the last century. I lived that legacy until I was 21, when I met an enlightened being named Bob Kevorkian, who gave me my life back. But that didn't mean I was free, only that I wasn't doomed.

Since then, I've been married once and had a long term relationship after that. I have two sons, both adults now. I'm on my own now, and I'm using this opportunity to find out more about who I am and how I can be a better person for myself and others. I'm not really looking for a relationship because I'm not yet confident that I can sustain it.

The name "rightbrain" comes from a lifelong struggle to balance my life. I've always been really good at skills associated with the left half of the brain: logical,
sequential, rational, analytical, objective, look at parts. Because I'm good at them, I have relied on them to the detriment of rightbrain skills: random, intuitive, holistic, synthesizing, subjective, looks at the whole. I am trying to balance them, and taking the name (in several venues, but not all) is a start.

So I'm an overly-analytical old fogey. Or I'm a mystical visionary iconoclast. I am what you make of me.

I am insghtful, mindful, and brave
What I’m doing with my life
I'm trying to deserve love. Having failed in two long term relationships in my life, I have no confidence that I can be close to anyone without hurting them irreparably. So I'm exploring who I am and staying away from anything like a relationship. I'm also trying to find a way to make a contribution to the world with my talents.

The most important thing I'm doing is learning to meditate. I'm taking Shambhala training and getting more involved in Shambhala events. Meditation has given me more space to live in. Instead of being always crowded with my thoughts, obsessions, recapitulations, and self-denigrations, my mind has empty places I can rest in.

I'm learning to dance. In college I was a serious folk dancer, but never very good. I have trouble remembering sequences of steps and moves, so most formal dancing is out of the question. So I hadn't danced for decades. Then at the beginning of this year (2006), I discovered Contact Improv and ecstatic dance. Neither of them requires me to learn steps, so they let me throw my body into them with abandon. CI is my favorite because it requires me to respond to a partner. Both are like meditation in that they take me (mostly) out of my mind and create a space where I can be.
I’m really good at
I'm really good at writing computer software, especially things that people will use. I'm a system designer and architect, meaning I can create software systems from scratch that do interesting things, but what I'm uniquely good at is making the software so people like using it.

I'm really good at driving, and I really enjoy it. I drive about 24K miles a year. I drive fast, but not so fast I get tickets. I drive aggressively, but not so aggressively that I have accidents.

I'm really good at hiking. At 58, I'm in pretty good shape, and my joints are all in great shape, so I move at a pretty good pace, though thiry year olds still pass me sometimes. This summer I hiked around Mt. Hood (42 miles in two days) and up South Sister and Mt. St. Helens. I try to hike every weekend.
The first things people usually notice about me
"White socks under Birks. Eeeooh!" I really like my Birks, and I wear them year around everywhere I go. The socks mean I can walk long distances fast in any weather.

I'm reasonably tall (5'11) and not too heavy (195lbs). My face is starting to show some age, and my hair is graying and thinning, but I don't think I look my age overall. But I do look older. In high school I was in three plays, and in all three I was cast as the old man. Something about me made me an old man way back then. In some ways I may be younger now than I was then.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My favorites in all categories are all over the map, and have changed over my life.

When I was younger I loved SciFi and fantasy books. I read a lot of Heinlein, Zelazny, Delany, Cordwainer Smith, Tolkien, Anthony, etc. Lately I'm reading has been eclectic: Dan Brown, Lemony Snicket, Terry Prachett, Pullman, Chogyam Trungpa, and other authors you probably haven't heard of.

I rarely go to the movies, but I keep track of what's showing. Then I rent or buy videos of the ones that are interesting to me. I love anime and art films and some other films that have some special meaning to me, such as "Shakespeare in Love", "Being John Malkovich", "Y Tu Mama Tambien".

My music is also all over the place. I like mostly female voices, and I like them in Alternative, Celtic, Folk, Country, International, etc. For example, Shawn Colvin, Alison Kraus, Ani DiFranco, Annie Lennox, Bonnie Raitt, Death Cab.

I eat low carb, so my favorite foods are strange, too. I like meat, and I eat a lot of it. I seldom eat fast food. I also like really high quality deserts, especially if they emphasize fat over sugar. I'm a sucker for a really rich chocolate cake, but not very often.

I watch a lot of TV and videos. Sometimes alone, and sometimes with my younger son when he visits from college. I like the weird shows, or at least they have to have some twist or intelligence. I religously watched Buffy and have the series on DVD. I watched every Star Trek episode as it happened, and I even liked Voyager and Enterprise, but I am daunted by even trying to own the DVDs, so I own none. I watched Firefly when it came out, and now I going through the DVDs. I love The Prisoner, Gilmore Girls, Sports Night, House, Once and Again, etc. But I refuse to subscribe to HBO or Showtime, so I miss all their cool stuff.
Six things I could never do without
This is a trick question, right? 1) air 2) water 3) food 4) shelter 5) health 6)love.

But I suppose they mean more mundane things: 1) meditation 2) dance 3) hiking 4) my children 5) my car 6) Tivo.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I spend a lot of time thinking about my place in the world. I'm no longer contemplating suicide, but it is still a puzzle what I am doing here.

I spend a lot of time thinking about whether I will ever be loved again. Am I worthy of love? Will I ever find love again?

I spend a lot of time thinking about how screwed up the world is. Why is the richest middle class in the world acting as if we've got the short end of the stick while we waste what we have? Why is everyone so afraid of terrorist attacks that have killed many fewer people than one year's traffic accidents? Is there ever going to be another free election in the United States?
On a typical Friday night I am
On Friday night I am typically seeing some performance or another. First priority, dance, but a good play will do. My next most common Friday activity recently has been Shambhala training, either taking a level or staffing levels I've taken already. Sometimes I just curl up with my Tivo.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I believe the world is a more magical place than we have any idea about. We collectively agree on a reality that hides much of the magic and teach it to our kids starting at a very young age through collective abuse. Our children's job is to escape the limitations we set on them and find the magic for themselves. We can best help them by discovering the magic ourselves.

That and that I play Dungeons and Dragons every Wednesday.
You should message me if
Don't message me if you are looking for a date or a relationship. I found my partner on OkCupid. It took both of us putting ourselves out. You can do it, too. Be bold.
The two of us