38Seattle, United States
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My self-summary
Full disclosure: I am in a relationship, but it is an open one, and we have been open for as long as we have been together. If you are looking for someone who is unattached (reasonable, as this is a dating site,) I am not the one for you. otherwise, nice to meet you.
queer. short. glasses.
I listen to geeky podcasts and public radio, and i also seek out new (or old) music, I cook and read and know how to pay my bills on time and keep my shit together.
recently re located to here after 10 years in nyc (hello, cultural shift)
My cat is named after an avant-garde filmmaker
I work nights and my Saturday is everyone else's Tuesday
I really, really like bears
What I’m doing with my life
i do lots of things with my life. currently my work life is occupying a lot of my time, but that's okay with me because i really love what i do-- i'm leading the kitchen at a Very Fine restaurant. That means i can have a long involved conversation about some very random things, like frying eggs or how to break down different kinds of fish. if you're into that kind of thing.
i also went to school and studied Many Things, which means i can talk about queer theory and abstract expressionism, fortunately i also enjoy talking about those things.
theoretically i also keep up with current events and some books, depending on what you like to read. i like the sci fi and try to read non fiction to broaden my ever shrinking mind- sometimes it works, sometimes i go back to the fiction, which also broadens my mind.
i go on semi-planned adventures (as in, let's drive north and see where we end up, or visit farms and play with baby goats- that was fun). i stay up later than i intend to. i drink to excess, i cook for friends and i draw funny pictures, sometimes in the same night. sometimes i draw serious pictures, too, but usually not if i'm making dinner.
I’m really good at
I can mix a perfect Manhattan.
I can fold laundry, or wash dishes. or help you do that, if that's what we need to do.
Sex. (the phrase "I can do sex" is a little creaky.)
Blurring gender lines. it's a good way to engage with others.
I can make perfect eggs (and I can discuss what denotes perfection.)

I'm really good at helping people figure stuff out. Not in a "this is the way to do it" way, in a "what is going to be best for you in this situation" kind of way.
The first things people usually notice about me
The tattoos are usually what people comment on.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
The Hours, White Teeth, American Gods, Middlesex, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, The Hunger Games... Cookbooks: The French Laundry and Bouchon, A16, The Moro Cookbook, Zuni Cafe, Nose to Tail Eating, The Young Man and the Sea, The River Cafe Cookbook, Eleven Madison Park, What we Eat when we Eat Alone.

I have a somewhat guilty love of comic book movies. The explosions! The sound effects! The plot you can follow without thinking too hard! The Lord of the Rings trilogy, both written and the Peter Jackson adaptation. Also: A History of Violence, Eastern Promises, Ocean's Eleven, Marwencol, Silence of the Lambs, When Harry Met Sally, In The Mood For Love, Herb & Dorothy, Grey Gardens.

Parks and Recreation. 30 Rock. Battlestar Galactica. Jon Stewart. Weekend update.

Working in a kitchen is conducive to hiphop, driving is my excuse to listen to (terrible) radio. NPR, PRI, Sharon Van Etten and Nate Dogg. Johnny Cash and Wild Flag. Biggie and The Magnetic Fields, Neko Case or radiohead. turn off that taylor swift, please.

i will eat just about anything, and have eaten many things already. you probably have too.

i like food wrapped up in food. scotch eggs. sushi. burritos. lefse. ethiopian. lettuce wraps (thai or vietnamese). corndogs. let's go find something new to eat.
Six things I could never do without
in no particular order:
the walk through Prospect Park on the way to the bar
Stan (the cat) sleeping on the couch
good socks
I suppose my phone, if we're being practical
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Food. Sex. This American Life. Gender and how it plays out in the world. How to balance ambition and the desire to do not very much. The dream I had last night before it slips away entirely. Where to travel to next.
On a typical Friday night I am
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
i've answered and deleted my response to this multiple times, mostly because i think the question is flawed.
You should message me if
If you are fine with open relationships, if you don't mind someone whose off hours are quite late, or if you know how to play the ukulele. I just got one and it's fun. or if you want to go to 13 coins sometime.
The two of us