35Brooklyn, United States
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My self-summary
dorky, scruffy appearance. academic track but committed to the inexpensive vices: karaoke, architectural sightseeing, futzing with old film, cozy productivity, sunshine biking, baking, pinball, weirdo kink, records, slow-starting mornings, dessert. striving to be the sort thought of as a sweetheart and a good pal. never had much of a southern accent but i still say "y'all." other pronouns: he/him/his.

interested in non-heteronormative dating wherein real friendship of whatever shape overlaps with making out, cuddling, and pushing each other's buttons. people bringing sexiness and sweetness to each other's lives does not require ownership claims on their respective bodies and time, though it does require treating people considerately, as human beings first and foremost, and not as fun-times vending machines. i am open to eventually developing some kind of serious relationship depending how life shakes out, but i am not on a quest for a primary. currently looking mostly for people with whom i click intellectually/emotionally, who are also interested in makeouts, fool-arounds, and/or kink stuff.

basically i am trying to practice ethical, considerate, feminist nonmonogamy. bear with me though because despite all the verbiage i am figuring this out as i go along, as much as anybody else is.
What I’m doing with my life
trying to say yes to things, to spend more time in the company of kind friends, and to carve out some facsimile of my daydream cozy fantasy attic, with few possessions but lots of heart and well-lived evenings.

jobby-wise i am an academic in training, trying to maintain a critical and politically relevant historiographical praxis, and otherwise keep myself motivated and happy.
I’m really good at
rationalizing extra dessert, picking things up with my toes, some board games, squandering my first messages to cool kids on okcupid, naming that tune.

the second- or third-most heartwarming compliment i've ever received was an ex-lover telling me i made her feel comfortable in her desires. things like that make me feel better about the possibility of getting hit by a bus tomorrow.
The first things people usually notice about me
whiteness, maleness, general class position, hair, big nose, curls, slightly more pastel wardrobe than my schoolyard peers. sometimes i like to imagine i have a cute butt.

the gray hairs have started to show here and there, and i am mostly stoked about it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

BOOKS: academic nonfiction, virginia woolf, old x-men, pulpy garbage, one hundred years of solitude.

MOVIES: kiki's delivery service is all time. been hitting up film forum a ton and would love to have more movie buddies.

TV: key reference points include mst3k, columbo, and early simpsons. i try to avoid new shows cuz i can't handle the oh-just-one-more-episode thing.

MUSIC: anything that you can sing along to with giant emotions, great tunes or good words. 50s rock, classic country, 70s AM gold, funk, chart pop and hip-hop, boring pop-rock. been poking into jazz in a very tentative way, and somehow became one of those types who frequently listens to steely dan. to give you an idea of the kind of nerd i am: lately i have been cleaning all my records so my listening is driven by where in the alphabet i've most recently cleaned.

FOOD: waffle house, dosas, momos, thai. bury me piled high with little debbies.
Six things I could never do without
* camera
* bicycle
* record player
* books
* stupid computer
* all my dear sweet inspirational friends, now scattered across the earth
I spend a lot of time thinking about
architecture, as situated in global material flows and local social and economic conditions. colonialism, large technological systems, power. keyboard pop songs i'll never finish writing. random little phrases from books i haven't read in ten years. filthy sweetie sex with sweetie filthy people. how my apartment might be made slightly more inhabitable.
On a typical Friday night I am
editing photos, watchin a movie, meeting old friends for cheapo dive drinks, trawling okcupid, i dunno.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
1) i like butts. no like, i'm a connoisseur. i will show yr ass true lovin' appreciation, if you want it.

2) i've seen many a profile proclaim: "don't message me if you just want to talk dirty to me." i kind of take the opposite stance on this issue.

3) i have unusual turn-ons, swinging strongly subby. the groovy radical nerd wing of the local kink scene has been kind enough to welcome me as a novice and interloper; if you do fetlife we can swap details that way too. i don't need all my partners to be kinky but if you are more squeamish about this stuff we might not be such a great match.

i've tried to sum my stuff up by saying "i like it dirty," but this has been widely misunderstood. let's say "REALLY dirty" and get into the details later. looking for folks to use me gleefully, and leave me filthy, with brains a-scrambled.

4) BUT. things don't always have to be so elaborate. i also like ""vanilla"" making out and groping and sweaty bodies rolling and squirming around together. oouuh!
You should message me if
you wanna get nerdy, and ramble about the stuff you do and the stuff you like.

you wanna get dirty. like, let's.

you're inspired to. i have next to zero first-message game anyway.

you wanna go exploring by bike or subway, especially to architecture and urban spaces.

you are not some career-driven money zombie person and do not measure people by the dollars attached to their clothes, their drinks or their hangouts. my home is still with the DIY kids, even tho they're all a lot cooler than me.

you're okay with me responding with a friendly statement of non-interest and well-wishing.

you wanna have yr picture taken. i do decent portraits though most of my experience is with dumb buildings.

you wanna ball and yr not shy.

p.s. thanks for reading.
The two of us