from down south. no accent but i still say "y'all." other pronouns: he/him/his.
interested in non-heteronormative dating wherein real friendship of whatever shape overlaps with making out, cuddling, pushing each other's buttons, et cetera. people bringing sexiness and sweetness to each other's lives does not require ownership claims on their respective bodies and time, though it does require treating people considerately, as human beings first and foremost, and not as fun-times vending machines. i am open to eventually developing some kind of serious relationship depending how life shakes out, but i am not on a quest for a primary. currently looking mostly for people with whom i click intellectually/emotionally, who are also interested in makeouts, fool-arounds, n maybe kink stuff.
basically i am trying to practice ethical, considerate, feminist nonmonogamy. bear with me though because despite all the verbiage i am figuring this out as i go along, as much as anybody else is.
jobby-wise, i am an academic in training, reminding myself regularly to try and maintain a critical historiographical praxis rather than coasting. as i write this i am using okcupid as one of many ways to procrastinate working on my prospectus, but to be honest it's been a hard year on several fronts and i am in the process of trying to recenter and remotivate myself on my work.
the second- or third-most heartwarming compliment i've ever received was an ex-lover telling me i made her feel comfortable in her desires. things like that make me feel better about the possibility of getting hit by a bus tomorrow.
the gray hairs have started to show here and there, and i am mostly stoked about it.
books: academic nonfiction, virginia woolf, old x-men, pulpy garbage, one hundred years of solitude.
MOVIES: kiki's delivery service is all time. been hitting up film forum a ton; give a holler if you wanna go see something!
TV: i try to avoid new shows cause if i get hooked i'll sink in more time than i mean to. but key reference points include mst3k, columbo, and early simpsons.
music: anything that you can sing along to with giant emotions, great tunes or good words. 50s rock, classic country, 70s AM gold, funk, chart pop and hip-hop, boring pop-rock. been poking into jazz in a very tentative way, and somehow became one of those types who frequently listens to steely dan and yes.
food: waffle house, dosas, momos, thai. please bury me piled high with little debbies.
* record player
* stupid computer
* all my dear sweet inspirational friends, now scattered across the earth
2) i've seen many a profile proclaim: "don't message me if you just want to talk dirty to me." i kind of take the opposite stance on this issue.
3) i have unusual turn-ons, swinging strongly subby. the groovy radical nerd wing of the local kink scene has been kind enough to welcome me as a novice and interloper; if you do fetlife we can swap details that way too. i don't need all my partners to be kinky but if you are more squeamish about this stuff we might not be such a great match.
i've tried to sum my stuff up by saying "i like it dirty," but this has been widely misunderstood. let's say "REALLY dirty" and get into the details later. looking for folks to use me gleefully, and leave me filthy, with brains a-scrambled.
4) BUT. things don't always have to be so elaborate. i also like ""vanilla"" making out and groping and sweaty bodies rolling and squirming around together. oouuh!
you wanna get dirty. like, let's.
you're inspired to. i have next to zero first-message game anyway.
you wanna go exploring by bike or subway, especially to architecture and urban spaces.
you are not some career-driven money zombie person and do not measure people by the dollars attached to their clothes, their drinks or their hangouts. my home is still with the DIY kids, even tho they're all a lot cooler than me.
you wanna have yr picture taken. i do decent portraits though most of my experience is with dumb buildings.
you wanna ball and yr not shy.
p.s. thanks for reading.