35Brooklyn, United States
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My self-summary
dorky ole goofball, trying to practice life as a thoughtful sweetheart and pal, getting by on the love of so many friends despite this wicked world. academic work, inexpensive play: karaoke, architourism, cozy productivity, sunshine biking, pinball, kink, records, slow-starting mornings, dessert. never had much of a southern accent but i still say "y'all." other pronouns: he/him/his.

love: non-heteronormative dating, wherein real friendship of whatever shape overlaps with making out, cuddling, and pushing each other's buttons. i have tried to live up to the ideal that people bringing sexiness and sweetness to each other's lives does not require ownership claims on their respective bodies and time, but does require treating people considerately, as human beings and not as fun-times vending machines. basically i am trying to practice ethical, considerate, feminist nonomonogamy, forever a work in progress.

i am open to eventually developing some kind of serious relationship(s) depending how life shakes out, but i am not on a quest for a primary. currently looking mostly for people with whom i click intellectually/emotionally, who are also interested in makeouts, fool-arounds, and/or kink stuff.

APRIL 2017: i am seeing a couple of wonderful people with various degrees of regularity, and giving each of them the time they need and deserve does involve some conscious time management. i am still open to meeting new people tho, especially toppy kinky types and hobby-sharing friends!

AUGUST 2017: i'm really gonna have to make this an anonymous-ish profile soon. ~work reasons.~ just gotta think up the right cute/hott way to do the pictures i guess. sigh.
What I’m doing with my life
trying to say yes to things, to spend more time in the company of kind friends, and to carve out some facsimile of my daydream cozy fantasy attic, with few possessions but lots of heart and well-lived evenings. the main thing is i need to be on the internet less.

jobby-wise i am an academic in training, trying to maintain a critical and politically relevant historiographical praxis, and otherwise keep myself motivated and happy.
I’m really good at
rationalizing extra dessert, picking things up with my toes, some board games, squandering my first messages to cool kids on okcupid, naming that tune.

the second- or third-most heartwarming compliment i've ever received was an ex-lover telling me i made her feel comfortable in her desires. in general people i love have been telling me that i am kind, and a good friend, and not That Guy. i am trying to believe them.
The first things people usually notice about me
whiteness, maleness, general class position. big hair, big nose. slightly more pastel wardrobe than my schoolyard peers. sometimes i like to imagine i have a cute butt. the gray hairs have started to show here and there, and i am mostly stoked about it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
BOOKS: academic nonfiction, virginia woolf, old x-men, pulpy garbage, one hundred years of solitude.

MOVIES: kiki's delivery service is all time. been hitting up film forum a ton and would love to have more movie buddies.

TV: mst3k, columbo, early simpsons, but tbh i really am not into shows as a 'thing' and am not looking to get hooked on any.

MUSIC: stuff you can sing along to mainly? i have a pretty big record collection but each entry will only further confirm what a corny square i am. 50s rock, classic country, 70s AM gold, funk, chart pop and hip-hop. been poking into jazz in a very tentative way.

FOOD: waffle house, dosas, momos, thai. but you can bury me piled high with little debbies.
Six things I could never do without
* camera
* bicycle
* record player
* books
* stupid computer
* all my dear sweet inspirational friends, now scattered across the earth
I spend a lot of time thinking about
architecture, as situated in global material flows and local social and economic conditions. the discourse and imagery of large technological systems w/r/t power. keyboard pop songs i'll never finish writing, random little phrases from books i haven't read in ten years, filthy sweetie sex with sweetie filthy people, what life was like when i had ready access to a sloppy wetland mudhole, how my apartment might be made slightly more inhabitable, getting rid of more of my books, and the like.
On a typical Friday night I am
editing photos, watchin a movie, meeting old friends for cheapo dive drinks, trawling okcupid, and so and so
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
ha. i mean. i'll admit a lot in person if you want me to, i will just want periodic reassurance and signs that you are genuinely interested and that i am not just oversharing. for starters here are some highlights:

1) i like butts. no like, i'm a connoisseur. i will show yr ass true lovin' appreciation, if you want it.

2) i've seen many a profile proclaim: "don't message me if you just want to talk dirty to me." i respect that, but if we find we're clicking conversationally, please feel free to reveal that really, you originally messaged me because you just want to talk dirty to me.

3) i have unusual turn-ons, swinging strongly subby. the groovy radical nerd wing of the local kink scene has been kind enough to welcome me as a novice and interloper so i have been gradually getting a new wonderful education in etiquette and certain aspects of personal politics.

i've tried to sum my stuff up by saying "i like it dirty," but this isn't really that helpful. looking for folks to use me gleefully, and leave me filthy, with brains a-scrambled and in need of a shower. or some other kinds of things too. if you do fetlife we can swap details that way too.

i don't need all my partners to be kinky, and obv i also like ""vanilla" making out and groping and the roll and squirm of sweaty bodies and all that. but if you are more squeamish about this stuff, we might not be such a great match. if you are subby yourself and we click as pals, i am all for a friendship of mutual high-fives and commiseration, but we are most likely not all that compatible sexually.
You should message me if
you wanna get nerdy, and ramble about the stuff you do and the stuff you like.

you wanna get dirty. like, let's. sloppy, i mean.

you wanna go exploring by bike or subway, especially to architecture and urban spaces, or if you wanna go to the movies on a seriously regular basis.

you are not some career-driven money zombie person and do not measure people by the dollars attached to their clothes, their drinks or their hangouts. my home is still with the DIY kids, even tho they're all a lot cooler than me.

you're okay with me responding with a friendly statement of non-interest and well-wishing.

you wanna have yr picture taken. i do decent portraits though most of my experience is with dumb buildings.

you wanna ball and yr not shy.

p.s. thanks for reading.
The two of us