35 Brooklyn, United States
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My self-summary
nerdy, scruffy appearance; academic ways; inexpensive vices. karaoke, architecture, futzing with old film, cozy productivity, sunshine biking, baking, pinball, weirdo kink, records, slow-starting mornings.

from down south. no accent but i still say "y'all." other pronouns: he/him/his.

while i'm not just on this thing to pick up hot babes, i'm very iffy on boyfriend/girlfriend heteronormative relationships. i'm attracted to independence, i believe friendship can overlap with making out and cuddling, and i don't wanna own yr body or time. these do not preclude my getting totally sweet on people but basically i am trying to practice ethical, considerate, feminist nonmonogamy.

currently looking mostly for people with whom i click intellectually/emotionally, who are also interested in "casual sex" type makeouts, fool-arounds, n maybe kink stuff. not looking for a primary partner, but strongly desirous of building real friendships of which pushing each other's buttons is one part.
What I’m doing with my life
saying yes to things, making time for my friendships, rifling the same ol' record bins, looking up hideous buildings in architecture guidebooks, trying to carve out a facsimile of my dream attic from the late 1920s or 40s, with few possessions but lots of heart and intensely-lived evenings. unfortunately i am having as hard a time giving up all my stupid stuff and habits as i am finding a time machine.

professionally a nerdperson, intermittently struggling to hold myself to a critical historiographical praxis in a notoriously conservative field. aka, phd student. as i write this i am using okcupid as one of many ways to procrastinate working on my prospectus. sigh.
I’m really good at
rationalizing extra dessert, picking things up with my toes, some board games, squandering my first messages to cool kids on okcupid, naming that tune.

the second- or third-most heartwarming compliment i've ever received was an ex-lover telling me i made her feel comfortable in her desires. aww, yay!
The first things people usually notice about me
whiteness, maleness, general class position, hair, big nose. sometimes i like to imagine i have a cute butt. people tell me that i wear unlikely color combinations and girls' shirts but i have no real concept of this unless i'm specifically thinking about it.

the gray hairs have started to show here and there, and part of me is pretty stoked about it.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

books: nerdy nonfiction, virginia woolf, old x-men, pulpy garbage.

movies: kiki's delivery service plus whatever you wanna watch. i got a film forum membership to try and motivate myself to see more things, give a holler if you wanna see a flick.

tv shows: for the sake of my own happiness i try to avoid getting hooked on these but, key reference points include mst3k, futurama, columbo, old simpsons, twin peaks.

music: anything that you can sing along to with giant emotions, great tunes, good words. 50s rock, classic country, 70s AM gold, funk, chart pop and hip-hop, classic beatles-y pop-rock. been poking into jazz in a very tentative way. the past two years have seen me become one of those types who frequently listens to steely dan and yes.

food: pancakes, tibetan fried momos, thai stuff, little debbies.
The six things I could never do without
* camera
* bicycle
* record player
* books
* stupid computer
* all my dear sweet inspirational friends, now scattered across the earth
I spend a lot of time thinking about
architecture, as situated in global material flows and local social and economic conditions. colonialism, large technological systems, power. also formalism. keyboard pop songs i'll never finish writing. random little phrases from books i haven't read in ten years. filthy sweetie sex with sweetie filthy people.
On a typical Friday night I am
decompressing after school, editing photos, watchin a movie, meeting old friends for cheapo dive drinks, trawling okcupid, y'know.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
1) i like butts. no like, i'm a connoisseur. i will show yr ass true lovin' appreciation if you want it.

2) i've seen many a profile proclaim: "don't message me if you just want to talk dirty to me." i kind of take the opposite stance on this issue.

3) i have unusual turn-ons, swinging strongly subby. the groovy radical nerd wing of the local kink scene has been kind enough to welcome me as a novice and interloper; if you do fetlife we can swap details that way too. i don't need all my partners to be kinky but if you are more squeamish about this stuff we might not be such a great match.

i've tried to sum my stuff up by saying "i like it dirty," but this has been widely misunderstood. let's say "REALLY dirty" and get into the details later. use me gleefully; leave me filthy, with brains a-scrambled.

4) BUT. things don't always have to be so elaborate. i also like making out and groping and sweaty bodies rolling and squirming around together. oouuh!
You should message me if
you wanna get nerdy, and ramble about the stuff you do and the stuff you like.

you wanna get dirty. like, let's.

you're inspired to. i have next to zero first-message game anyway.

you wanna go exploring by bike or subway, especially to architecture and urban spaces.

you are not some career-driven money zombie person and do not measure people by the dollars attached to their clothes, their drinks or their hangouts. my home is still with the DIY kids, even tho they're all a lot cooler than me.

you wanna have yr picture taken. i do decent portraits though most of my experience is with dumb buildings.

you wanna ball and yr not shy.