36Plymouth, United States
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My self-summary
I'm a sucker for cornrows and manicured toes

I like cartoons and games and all sorts of stuff that I should've grown out of when I was a little. Graduating from college was the worst thing that ever happened to me.

I like video games, beer, and riding my bike(s)! DO YOU LIKE THESE THINGS AND MORE?

I like vinyl, PVC, shiny things, glasses, piercings, and loud hair colors on girls, I don't like dancing, LARPers, anyone with a 'Fursona', the missionary position, stupid hats, breakfast cereal mascots, or shots fired in anger. Smoking is a deal breaker, cut that shit out.

Despite all that, I don't take much seriously. I think you can find humor in everything, even yourself, and people who never laugh or make a good "your mom" or "that's what she said" joke when the opportunity arises are the kind of people I avoid.

I'm a pragmatist, almost to a fault. I eschew fashion for function, am artistically devoid, and lack the whimsy of my forefathers. Everything I have, own, or do serves a purpose (at least for me). I guess that might make me boring to a lot of people, but I'm the problem destroyer and I can bail you out of anything. I realize that this might seem hopeless and weird, but I like people that challenge me and am open to new things.

I am old, cold, and covered in mold
What I’m doing with my life
Wage slave.

I'm now at the age where most of my friends are getting married and/or putting babies up in girls and it's really cutting into our quality time.

I ride a motorcycle and it is really just.... just super.
I’m really good at
Drinking, fixing things, being manically active and purposefully idle (sometimes within minutes of each other), driving, pining for the fjords, finishing sentenc
The first things people usually notice about me
I blend in. I can disappear like a finely trained ninja.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
a - Anything by Cormac McCarthy, Vonnegut, Snow Crash, Dresden Files, Catcher in the Rye, 1984, Candide, Dune series, Trashy Sci-Fi, Terry Prachett, Neil Gaiman, John Scalzi, Political stuff: Matt Taibbi, Noam Chomsky, Pinko Left-Wing drek. b - Super Troopers, The Big Lebowski, South Park, Apocalypse Now, Star Wars, LotR, Office Space, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Orgasmo, War movies, Pretentious Art Movies. c - Tenacious D! Alkaline Trio, Tool, NIN, AFI, Pitchshifter, SoaD, Rise Against, Audioslave, Mars Volta/At the Drive-In, a lot of alt stuff. No ska, no country, no reggae, no other crap like that. I H-A-T-E Aerosmith and Creed with a fiery passion. d - Most. I eat red meat on occasion, pass on asparagus and eggplant. Veal... poor baby cows e - I love most adult Cartoons on TV - as, Venture Brothers, ATHF, Futurama, Family Guy, and The Simpsons. Orange is the New Black, Homeland, Boardwalk Empire, Girls, House of Cards, Mad Men, The Office, History Channel, Comedy Central, Discovery Channel, RACING (other than stuff on oval tracks, for the most part: Continental Series, ALMS, F1, Grand-Am)

Six things I could never do without
This question sucks.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
A soul-crushing amount of things that only the sweet release of alcohol can purge from my consciousness.
On a typical Friday night I am

In bed by 10. Fuck work.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
No u.

My private life is a lot stranger than I care to talk about in public, sooo.....
You should message me if
You're reading this.

I like beer a lot and hanging out with people who also like beer. Do you like beer and know where good places to hang out are? GET AT ME.

I like getting random messages from random people. Message me at all costs.

You shouldn't message me if: You like ICP. You like ICP (intentional duplicate to make my point). You have a Taz tattoo anywhere on your body. You own an oversized sweatshirt with Tweetie Bird on it that wasn't used in a Halloween costume. You go out for a nice meal and always order spaghetti. You wear pajama pants in public more than once a year and don't have cancer. You even consider voting Republican. You think you have an "old soul" - new souls only!

I'm taken, but I like to look at the ladies and shoot the shit with people; so here I am.
The two of us