40 San Francisco, United States
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My self-summary
SF Native

You can find me behind the plank three nights a week at a famous city bar. I’m the one wearing the golden retriever t shirt. Everyone likes a golden retriever. If not, there’s something wrong with them and I don’t want to know them.

I have an MFA and have shown a lot of art in the Bay Area for the last ten years. I’m taking a break to do something even more difficult than being a successful artist and that’s finding someone I want to spend the rest of my life with ( or at least a good portion of it)

I am a baby giraffe. My feet are like little tea cups. I have a long neck which allows me to feed upon the leaves of the forest canopy. I have two flesh covered bony protuberances called ossicones that sit atop by head and one day I’ll use them in mating rituals. I am a baby giraffe.

I am a baby owl. My ears are above my eyes so I can hear what I’m watching. Usually crunchy mice hiding in the tall dry grasses.
What I’m doing with my life
Making friends with people’s pets. Introducing people’s pets to other people’s pets. Interspecies friendship on instagram is the best. Get into it! Watching every movie. Sometimes I write reviews of movies. Listening to podcasts about lots of stuff. Fitness, film, politics, mindfulness, and comedy. Making paintings when I feel like it. Talking to the smart people, and pretending to listen to the not smart people. Moderating my own ambition and slowing down to enjoy life ( I need your help with this ).
I’m really good at
Feeding raccoons in Golden Gate Park. They know me, and I know their ways. Some people say not to do this, but who cares what other people think when you’re making friends with a family of bandit ringtails? Certainly I don’t.
The first things people usually notice about me
I am handsome and kind to animals.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
A note on the meaning of the word favorite. I see lots of people typing multiple answers to each thing. By definition you cannot have more than one favorite book or movie etc. Favorite means you favor this one thing over all other things. Now that that is out of the way:

Book: The Geography of Nowhere- "eighty percent of everything ever built in America has been built in the last fifty years, and most of it is depessing, brutal, ugly, unhealthy and spiritually degrading."

Movie: The Right Stuff- About the Mercury Seven astronauts. When men were men and looked like Ed Harris and Dennis Quaid and Sam Shepard.

Show: Dog with A Blog. Not really.

Music: Neil Young-He's from a town in North Ontario. He wears a poncho and put an electric motor in an old Chevy.

Food: Japanese-From the island of Japan. Where the people love robots and Maru the cat.
The six things I could never do without
1. This coffee can full of counterfeit twenty dollar bills I procured from North Korea. How else does one afford to live in this city?

2. From chopping branches and trees for a shelter, to making of a bow drill for fire, to whittling a snare, a knife in the hands of a knowledgeable individual, is the key to survival.


4. My apartment. Seriously. I have a giant rent controlled apartment all to myself, one block from the park that most of you would die to live in. Maybe not with me. But it’s pretty sick.

This video and everything else I learned listening to the Filmdrunk Frotcast.

6. Coconut water.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Those Habitrail hamster enclosures with all the connecting tubes and stuff. I think about making entire cities of them.
On a typical Friday night I am
I will be wearing highwater bellbottom widewale corduroy overalls, a paisley flannel shirt, an ascot, and a Tyrolean yodeling cap just to go to the Wallgreens. You always have to dress for success.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
The kinkajou's slender five-inch extrudable tongue helps the animal to obtain fruit and to lick nectar from flowers.
You should message me if
you want to be rowed around stow lake and throw stale bread at families of adorable duckies, taken for a picnic in the botanical garden amongst pissed off geese and aggressive squirrels, or enjoy the authentic representation of Oceania culture on display in the Fairmont’s Tonga Room. If you want to meet a man you may or may not love but you sure as hell are not going to forget.