What my students say about me:
"Ms [Rocketlettuce] is hilarious. Just her charm and jokes make me laugh so hard...I try and pay attention to her jokes so I can re-tell them later."
"She is like the wiseman that Rumi spoke of in his writing, and her students are her half-wise, only wishing they were as wise as she."
"I really think she is a genius (and not just because she told us she is)."
Here are some of their poems they wrote when I was absent from school:
English equals love / [Rocketlettuce] equals English / [Rocketlettuce] is love
Today you were not here /
Your students shed many a tear /
We miss your face, your love, your soul, /
[Rocketlettuce], for whom does the bell toll? /
For you, but that is not all, /
Though great is that bell's call /
For you, across the clear blue sky, /
The sun does also rise.
(This poem goes on, utilizing both The Old Man in the Sea and A Farewell to Arms, but the Main Idea is that I'm wonderful)
Polonius was constantly spying /
To Hamlet he always was lying /
So Hamlet said "fuck it" /
And "dead for a ducat; /
It's only a Rat that is dying"
There are many more where that came from.
Setting: A classroom filled with high school seniors in the prestigious International Baccalaureate Programme
Act One of One
Teacher: Ok guys, pay attention because this form you need to fill out is very important for graduation. On the top line, in all capital letters, write your last name, then a comma, and then your first name.
Student #1: Ms [Rocketlettuce], is it okay if we write our last name and then our first name?
Teacher: Yes, in fact, that is what you are supposed to do.
Student #2: What if we write our first name first. Is that okay?
Teacher: Once again: you need to write your last name, then a comma, then your first name, all in capital letters.
Student #3: I have a question: if we put our first name first, is that wrong?
Student #4: Hello student 3!? Haven't you been listening?? Now Ms [Rocketlettuce], before I write this, do I need to use all caps?
b)It's hard to name favorites, but I can say with certainty that I will not enjoy a movie in which an actor deals with an emotionally-charged situation by splashing water on his face, then staring at his reflection pensively in the mirror. Or any movie with Julia Stiles. If ever a movie is created in which Julia stiles splashes water on her face, let that day be my last.
(c)Bob Dylan, The Beatles (esp. George), and other stuff I got bored of this question.
3)Robert Rauschenberg - I have the biggest crush on him even though he is in his 80s and in a wheelchair. And gay, though I don't see that as our love's greatest barrier. Ok, maybe the fact that now he's dead is the greatest barrier.
6)graveyards - but I want to be cremated; I have an unnatural fear of being buried alive ever since seeing the movie Haunted Honeymoon, which allegedly is, I have since discovered, a comedy.
If the question asks for a
Player: Wayne Gretzky;
Trophy: Stanley Cup
If the question asks for a player who is
Old: Wilt Chamberlain;
Crazy: Dennis Rodman;
White: Larry Bird
If the question asks for a
Female: Mia Hamm;
Husband of Posh Spice: David Beckham
If the question asks for a player who is/was
Really good: Babe Ruth; Married to Marilyn Monroe: Joe DiMaggio; Diseased: Lou Gherig
If the questions asks for a
Good team: The 49ers; Good Quarterback: Joe Montana; Native American: Jim Thorpe
And thank you to iridiumx77 for adding this astute advice which I know to be true: "If you are playing with the Genus 5 cards: ignore all previous advice--it's always the Dallas Cowboys."
If it's not Tiger Woods, I guess either Jack Nicklaus or that other guy--whichever name I can remember at the time. So for example, if this were an actual game now, I would guess Jack Nicklaus.