39Portland, United States
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My self-summary
***DISCLAIMER- my user name is a play on me liking rock music and being round, not my...ahem...proclivities***

A word of grammatical advice, fellas-being discreet and discrete are very different- one is for being on the down low, the other is for calculus functions. Are you naughty or do you have a sine wave?

I'm kind of like a labrador; I love a ride in a car, meeting new people, and am generally happy go lucky (I am also like peanut butter and the water).

Not unlike the opening line of "Take on Me" by Aha, I have no idea what to say, so I'll say it anyways...I like diseases (learning about em, I'm a student), travelling, languages, cheap red wine, rock and roll, writing, art, volunteering, being outside, and spending time with family and friends. I sing badly and shamelessly in the car and shower, wanna be a nurse when I grow up, and think Bill Clinton is one fine mother (shut your mouth). I hate the smell of dill pickles, roofing tar, and the sound of Geddy Lee's voice. I break into hysterical laughter easily, and have a genuinely irrational fear of choking to death on my spit mid-laugh. If I really love a song I will listen to it on repeat 5 to 10 times in a sitting and think more songs should have hand clapping or tamborines and that everyone in the world should get a puppy and a Coke. Or a puppy in Coke...Or on coke...Hey, the world is your oyster, man. I'm just here to help shuck...
What I’m doing with my life
Trying to slow my downward trajectory into Selena Kyle-esque spinsterhood, especially because I'm running low on sexy black trashbags. I work in healthcare as my "Joe job," am working on my prerequisites for nursing school. In my free time, I recently ran my first 5K (now training for more), and am in the process of trying to get my first children's book published.
I’m really good at
dispensing useless and random trivia. I won't be able to remember my middle name when I'm 90, but I'll be able to remember all the permuations of Guns-n-Roses' members and how much the average human head weighs (12 pounds). I am the recipient of a lot of drunken 3AM calls and texts as a result. I've often been told I put people at ease. If I had a dollar for every time I heard "I don't know why I just told you that," I'd have...a lot of dollars. I think if I had a non-super superpower, it would be the ability to figure out mass transit in any city in the world :D Oh yeah! I have SICK freestyle chops after a lot of beers. At least I think so...
The first things people usually notice about me
Eeek. I don't know that I want to know, but I would guess that I am a winker and a smiler. Occasionally, this gets me in trouble- like the "please don't let that dude sit next to me on the bus because he looks schizophrenic" kind. I have also been the bashful recipient of lovely compliments about my eyes and lips.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: The following are what are in rotation: 1) Transmetropolitan / The Exterminators / Unwritten- I am so in love with these graphic novel series. 2) The Pilgrims Progress 3) A lot of back issues of the Economist I've fallen behind on 4) Ludmilla's Broken English 5) Canterbury Tales- I am trying to finish off the 100 greatest books of all times list. I worry that an earthquake will kill me in my sleep due to the unruly stack of books on my nightstand and I will be crushed to death by a copy of Choke by Chuck Palaniuk or something. My favorite book of all time is A Confederacy of Dunces, by John Kennedy Toole. It gets funnier and sadder every time I read it. A verrrry close second is The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov.

Movies: I like dead / possessed things eating people, explosions, subtitles, talking animals, giant mutant bugs, anything Scorcese, Kubrick, Lynch, Tarrantino, or Waters has ever done, directors that don't give a rat's ass whether you "get it" or not, Brain Candy, Sunset Boulevard, Aliens, Purple Rain, Jaws, American Werewolf in London, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, and Rockys 1-4. Ooh, and Commando, because the line "I eat Green Berets for breakfast, and I'm very very hungry," is poetry. Anything and everything involving a Muppet is also high on the list.

TV: I don't ever watch it, save for the occasional Netflix binge or Blazers game at my local. There are a few that rock my soul, though: 1) Kids in the Hall / Pee-Wee's Playhouse- Anyone who knows me knows they're my fave. 2) Arrested Development 3) Twin Peaks 4) Black Books 5) Boardwalk Empire.

Music: The hills are alive with it, so I have heard. I am on a big Northern soul kick. The Dirtbombs are the greatest band ever created by the divine hand of whatever the divine creator in the sky likes to call itself. Coldplay and Rush are playing in hell for me, interspersed with Jack Johnson and Norah Jones. Jason Mraz sings like he had a recent stroke. He shouldn't do that. Whoever told him that was cute lied. My very favorites include Prince, Pulp, Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits, Talking Heads, Pavement, Joy Division, David Bowie, any and all old soul, Britpop, punk, 80s synthpop / new wave, garage, and funk. I could bore you to death with more if you asked me. "Try a Little Tenderness," by Otis Redding is the greatest song ever written. It's a scientific fact.

Food: I am willing to try anything once. I do not like capers, pickles, cantelope, or mayo, but I am down for just about anything else. I love sushi and anything involving bread and cheese.
Six things I could never do without
1) Rain
2) Live music
3) Words and the study of languages in all forms, especially the word dude
4) A beast to care for
5) The kind of laughter that makes you subverbal
6) Black Chuck Taylor low tops

Close calls include Slurpees, the feel of a brand new hoodie, and comics.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
very strange things, like the sound a rhinocerous beetle makes, the components of chlorine that make it a good cleaning agent on the molecular level, the origin of words, what kind of animal a given person would be (were they another kind), and song lyrics.
On a typical Friday night I am
that chick with the cat eye glasses at a show in the back of a club, smiling at strangers and dancing awkwardly with a PBR, on PDX walkabout, looking for that new place I've never been, doing homework, or doing volunteer work.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I misspell the word pursue all the time because of the way Dave Gahan sings it in Policy of Truth (stupid, awesome Depeche Mode...).
You should message me if
- You're civically minded. Not a requirement, but a dude with a big heart makes my pupils go cartoon heart shaped.
- You're funny without the use of the words crack, monkey, or cheese as your primary punchline.
- You can explain the strategy to playing a good game of pinball to me like I was a 4-year-old. I seriously don't get it.
- You're kind to animals, children, and the elderly. I ain't got no time for bastardry. You don't have to like em, you just have to be nice.
- You wanna slow skate to Human League.
- You like your lady to have legs like a piano.
- If you like your lady to be a bit of a grab bag. You'll get a little science nerd, a little comic book geek, a little rock and roll, a little hippie activist, a little drag queen, and a lot of fun.
The two of us