38Spring Hill, United States
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My self-summary
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

Haha ok so really....I’m an ***hole and I won’t open doors for you. I expect you to cook for me and clean up my mess after I eat. And by the way, I’m a really messy eater. Food everywhere, on the floor, in my lap, but these are the least of your worries.

I leave my socks on the floor in the bedroom. I will not do laundry, and insist that you do it. Not just insist, you must LOVE to do my laundry and look forward to it. Look forward to it like you look forward to water in the desert. I think you get the picture.

Also I don’t do romance, I expect action on the first date, big time action (yes this will be at your place because I don’t want you to know where I live), and I won’t sleep over.

OK girls, waiting for your emails…go ;)

p.s. please have a sense of humor
What I’m doing with my life
America's sweetheart. I have a great job and being awesome. Both full time but ones easier than the other. ;) I'm also working on becoming healthier. Trying new things I haven't done before. Paying bills. Taking care of my mini-pig. Giving high and low fives. Buying a house. :) Its the bomb-diggity! (November2016)
I’m really good at
Singing, making people laugh and hanky panky ;-)
The first things people usually notice about me
Blue eyes, long eyelashes, smile and dashing good looks (I've been told that I'm better looking in does that mean I'm not photogenic?)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Music - I like a different types of music except country. Im always open to listen to new music.

Book - Alice In Wonderland.

Movies - Wedding Crashers, Hangover 1 & 2, Grandmas Boy, Night at the Roxbury, Anchorman, The Breakup, Dodgeball, Old School, The Other Guys, Step Brothers, 300, all of the Chris Nolan Batman movies and the first Tim Burton Batman, Blade movies, the Breakup, Gladiator, Matrix movies, the Punisher, the Rundown, Tropic Thunder, Walk Hard, Undercover Brother...etc

Shows - Favorite shows: Dexter, Workaholics, Big Bang Theory, Wilfred, Sons of Anarchy, The League, Tosh.0, Talk Soup, Boss, True Blood, Homeland, Game of Thrones, the Office, Chappelle Show. Any real life criminal shows especially Forensic Files, Cold Case Files and First 48. True Blood. Homeland.
Six things I could never do without
Me (cause then I wouldn't exist and that's bad for both of us)
I spend a lot of time thinking about

.....making me a sandwich
On a typical Friday night I am
Fight club.....umm whoops...wasn't suppose to talk about that
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm Batman....dammit I wasn't suppose to say that either!
You should message me if
Your looking to have fun, hang out, have know, see what happens ;-)

...and don't take life (or this profile) too seriously

*Except what I'm doing with my life and my six things. Everything else is malarkey. :)
The two of us