34Fitzroy, Australia
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My self-summary
standard issue caucasian female. bad organisation skills. can't really cook. can't drive. date me lol

I'm not down to earth at all. if you don't reply to my text i will turn up to your house drunk at 3 o'clock in the morning crying and trying to break in. i hate drinking tea and doing craft. i hate bicycles, the beach, sunshine and parks. and cider, i hate cider.

I'm an ENFP, which means I'm an extrovert, very sociable, passionate about things and quite disorganised.

I'm just trying to find someone to give me driving lessons.

edit: my apologies for the deep cynicism within this profile. i'm going to change it to take it more seriously soon i promise.
What I’m doing with my life
social media strategist by day and a stand-up comedian by night because who needs free time anyway.

i also have some other skills like being a terrible DJ, amateur skateboarder, rainman-like arithmetic ability, good speller, pretty good dancer, incredible ability to start books and never finish them.

cons: addicted to smartphone and terrible taste in reality tv shows.
I’m really good at
spinning a yarn, finding something to do on a saturday night, putting red lipstick on without looking in a mirror.
The first things people usually notice about me
very short and probably in the middle of telling an elaborate story.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
MUSIC - hip hop, R&B, techno, house, disco, pop music, garage, whatever....
I don't know, look at my Last FM thing
* if you own a Kings of Leon album released after 2004 or like the Red Hot Chili Peppers then we can't be friends.

BOOKS - I'm in a book club but i will probably be kicked out soon as I never go. UPDATE: they took me off the book club email list.

FOOD - all of it. i put sriracha hot sauce on everything.

MOVIES - whatever arty farty thing is on at the nova i suppose.

tv - i'm currently watching Stranger Things like everyone else, obsessed with UnReal although it has somewhat ruined The Bachelor for me, Broad City, Kroll show, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, an incredibly cheesy show with Hilary Duff called Younger... this isn't cool but i love a bit of 4 Corners & media watch on a Monday night, SBS insight, you know all the hip shows.... and i will never get sick of watching endless clips of Simon Amstell on 'Never Mind the Buzzcocks' on Youtube.

Right at this very moment i'm watching a show called 'Love Island' where they get a bunch of hot trashy british people in a house in ibiza and they yell and make out with each other a lot. it's terrible but i'm still watching which gives you a little insight into where i'm at.

And i've been watching Ali Wong's stand-up special on repeat on netflix. it is very very funny.

I have never watched a full episode of Game of Thrones or Breaking Bad. I am willing to budge on this if i found someone cool to watch it with.
Six things I could never do without
my rape whistle
I spend a lot of time thinking about
life's existential questions... seriously no, just searching the deep web for dank memes mostly. and how i can get more twitter followers.

why every guy these days has a huge beard.

i really enjoy super niche jokes about hip hop and punk music that barely anyone understands.

the urban legend about Glenn Danzig being a bad neighbour is one of my most favourite things in the world
On a typical Friday night I am
drunk, let's be honest.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
my middle name is Sheila.
You should message me if
- you actually read my profile
- you like dank memes
- you like comedy and have a silly sense of humour
- you're not going to get all weird on me (don't make a joke about this. just don't ok)
- no man-babies
The two of us