For rent: Tall, dark, karaoking, swing dancing Lance Armstrong impersonator is available on selected evenings. Call soon. Seating is limited.
Standard services include:
1) singing duets to adoring fans
2) arm wrestling to settle our different tastes in music
3) making wishes as we toss pennies into the fountain
Due to lack of demand, the following features are no longer offered:
1) poor hygiene
2) awkward silences
3) soliloquies about wrongs of exes past
4) long boring dinners with endless drivel about work
My wise uncle once told my teenage self, "If she can reply to your sarcasm with sarcasm instead of getting offended, she's a keeper." If that statement alone offends you, find another poor sap to date. I don't placate low self esteem.
But if you think a good relationship of any form involves an ongoing battle of wits, keep reading, Vizzini.
I'm not the guy who will bring you roses on the first date, praying for an awkward peck on the cheek. I will be the guy who's not afraid to make the first move or to start a pillow fight on Sunday mornings.
Figuring out the chord structures to snogs without reading the sheet music. I guess God wanted me to be a guitar player. (Sorry, ladies. No guitar.)
And saying what everybody else is thinking.
Oh wait, this is serious?
Ok for real:
Outliers, Blink, Power of Habit, Freakonomics, Predictably Irrational, The Signal And the Noise, Moneyball, The Big Short, The Power of Habit, When Genius Failed - The Rise and Fall of LTCM.
And yes, I enjoyed Fight Club. Get over it.
For music, too many to list here. If I have to run to the piano to bang out the chord structure, it's probably a good song. My playlist includes everything from Brahms and Frank Sinatra, to Moby and Deadmau5.
Check this out: http://bit.ly/cFDgrR
This is from a real-life behavioral economist, Dan Ariely, and nobody knows romance better than economists.
2) You usually agree with Dan Savage
3) You are a fan of XKCD.
4) You'll be Beatrice to my Benedick.