I love to travel and meet cool people.. Book me a flight? Plan a roadtrip? Hop on a ferry or float-plane and come visit me here on my cute Canadian island?.. I'd absolutely love that. If we like, we'll hit replay and annex ourselves up into a mini-gang. You bring the music, k?
That mouth.. she's 20.. https://youtu.be/6i1mr9amqeg
Little fluffy clouds. Her endearing yearning laced over a killer beat as she remembers.. https://youtu.be/te4xeTKD7LM
I am having a love affair with yellow. Such a galling colour. It takes 3 coats whereas any other shade politely requests one; ahhh, three distinct occasions to fuck up the trim. I've tried to suppress it, this raw desire for yellow.. but as I look around my place and see all its satisfied shades of amber, yolk, lemon, mustard, butter, squash, sunflower, citrine, saffron, sand, canary, custard.. I feel a sun-stained grin swell up and spill out, wondering all the while how I can be in love with such a frank and amoral tint. Gee, I do love that dress.
Off to buy a Gideon's bible from the thrift store. Will place it on the dashboard of Skate. I'm hoping it might help with the speeding tickets.. Update 3 hours later** ..ok, so I stole the bible.. 0_o geez! have I no shame!!?? I appall myself sometimes, but I just couldn't part with $7 bucks. Being Dutch trumped being good. It's very pretty. Virgin white leather with a thin silver cross embossed on its cover, silver-foiled edges and three white ribbony page-marker thingys. It's perfect. I'm gonna repent now.. on my knees..
ok, Actual Self Summary: I took up in the mountains, foothills and prairies of Canada free-ranging the high alpine and alongside rivers I could drink from. Rode a lanky pinto pony named Warpaint for miles and days. Slept outside. Skied deep in winter and skinned up tight cols beyond glaciers in summer loving steep-slope speed. I broke a lot of bones and hitchhiked back from wherever.
It was.. Exceptional.
Now I'm a coastal Canadian girl: rocky beaches, urban kickin' and taking road trips in my lil Skate. Hopefully keeping bones intact, but still jones for speed.
Dutch background rendered down to pigtails, a few vestigial swear words and double-salted licorice. (update: pigtails gone, it's boy-short these days)
The only sentence of Dutch I can remember is: "Je bent een stout meisje en je moet een pak op je broek!!!" Which translates roughly to: "You are a naughty girl and you need a spanking!!" ..I think that's pretty funny.
The other expression I heard just as often is: "A heel lief meisje," which means, "A real sweet girl."
Those two phrases summarize me pretty well..
the Toyota Corolla aka Skate:
I've been modifying my '83 AE71 Corolla with my friend. On its way to becoming a sleeper-drifter. Found some 14" American Racing Equipment Libre rims from the 1960s. A beautiful 4-spoke daisy design made of sand cast aluminum. Kick-ass sound system is in. I can't believe the huge volume and clarity. Pedestrians dance while we're all waiting for the light to change.
..and snacking on music otherwise.
..enjoying totally ruining a song by replaying it to death. That's got to be my all-time favourite best worst habit ever.
Left turns down some dirt road in a sideways drift with Skate.. still kind of need to learn to pull out of that though.
Seal pup thighs? Chubby dumper? Long neck? Sexy lil overbite? idk..
Maybe slinky hair; sun-licked tarnished gold.
..or that I wiggle and squirt when I smile..
Food! Yes, please!!
The Seasonals: Sockeye salmon, Spot prawns, BC Cherries, Dusty blackberries. The Regulars: Crust Bakery, Alberta beef, oysters, smokey JD and coffee. And the Occasionals: liverbacononions, strange Asian fruit and some things unpronounceable: hagelslag and pekelharing.
∞ My Bike.
∞ Dutch Licorice.
∞ Fire. So good after Cold and Wet.
∞ Modifying, fabricating, creating.. textiles and metal.
∞ Borderless time.
∞ Music.. duelling bass lines and percussivity.
And love silty prairie rivers banked with willows and cottonwoods, but apparently can do without them as I live on a rainy rocky coast now.
Ummm, the EM spectrum; It's pretty cool. Love playing with 380nm to 740nm, hanging out at 20Hz to 20kHz; and earn my keep in the MeV range.
Last Year's Thoughts.. Getting the 4AGE for Skate.. and all the acceleration it would bring. Future-Self doesn't want to eat tinned cat food in her old age and would prefer I be satisfied with what I have - the newly rebuilt polite stalwart unremarkable 4AC - and quit recklessly pissing her money away on things I merely want and don't need. My Present-Self is grinning in anticipation of feeling that wicked 20-valve engine hit its rev limiter, restricting power, my butt momentarily softening...and then the explosion of torque as I'm slammed in tight from behind as we gear up for the next lap. An entirely tasty dilemma indeed. I wonder who's gonna win? listen.. 0:13sec
(shhhh, Future-Self doesn't know about the long-standing turbo desires, so please don't tell her or she'll totally nix the 4AGE.)
Corolla Update** Future-Self and I have reached some kind of fiscal truce. Yay! We're going with the 3TC. I put some pix up in the lil Skate album. Brace yourself; it's nasty, but I can see glory in its destiny. It'll go like st!nk once we've modified its sweet little guts to fit Skate. Why can't I be like other girls and make payments on a Dodge Neon or Pontiac Sunfire or Ford Fiesta? Because I'd shoot myself, that's why. Ok, the Fiesta notwithstanding.. Ken Block drifts one like a ninja..
Corolla Update Again*** Future-Self is a cunt. She found out about the turbo. Apparently we're not spending any money on dreams, or turbos now. We're socking it all into the bank for some unforeseen apocalypse that prolly won't ever happen.
Corolla Update Mach 4**** I can't fucking believe it.. Future-Self sold Skate and she's making me move to Dalmatia along the Adriatic Sea. I'm onboard with discovering new Slavic novellas to live (hopefully involving spotty dogs and long-fanged overdressed pale gentlemen), but will miss my Skate something-fierce. Why is it so hard to keep the things we love? Perhaps it's to make space for all the diverging enchantments that keep piling up outside on the doorstep.
On a typical Tuesday night I am
...curious, sharp, craving, silken, fluid and ineffably hopeful. On exceptionally rare occasion, blindfolded.. and waiting..
I'm a curious mix of obliquely shy & subtly uninhibited.. I don't really get how that got mixed in me, but it's cute and it works.
The fallout of feminism sits uneasy with me. I really miss the culture of men... and softly think, "Whatever have we done??"
(Now that is a very private thought.)
I think neo-Buddhists have it wrong. It's not "the moments" we should cherish.. It's opening up incredible possibility into our futures and cultivating an amazing past that allows us to bask in the serenity of present. Who the fuck wants to breathe mindfully while doing the vacuuming when your past sucked and your future is bleak? That's just retarded. I think the trick is not to let your Future-Self strategize the present while influenced by past sorrow, nor let your Past-Self amplify stale emotion negating every possibility of crafting a deftly-sculpted glorious life.
The digits at the top don't accurately reflect the number of times I've lapped the sun. It fluctuates between 36-99. But pix were taken within its last orbit, which I hope mitigates any perceived duplicity. Please visit the lovely girls ↗︎↗︎↗︎↗︎↗︎↗︎ up over there if this is important for you; like if you want children or if you value typical milestones beigely convoying along common Western timelines. I'm unconcerned with your age.
I like speed..
I lack fear.. this is a problem sometimes
ok, I guess this is the admissions section..
The ancient, heavily-accented doctor enthusiastically as he poked a scope up my bum in spring, "Ahhh, You have the anus of a 20-year old. It's splendid." I can't decide if that's über inappropriate or if it should be received as a fine compliment..
So, I started reading that filched bible. I didn't get too far in and I'm already feeling this overwhelming desire for confession:
I lie (age). I cheat (Scrabble). I'm a thief (bibles). I'm unlawful (speed). I covet (your fries). I'm unrepentant in transgressions such as these.. but I won't take your worth or your dignity. I might steal a piece of your heart though, and won't ever give that back keeping it close up tight to mine for the rest of my life.
..brown-eyed? ..oh my my
You crave the heat of my breath in your mouth swallowing it down.
You tend to gather up caresses in drifts of sleep.
You like wading in the shallow end of your mental pool from time-to-time just being chill.
Although life might have you treading water in the middle of the bell curve, you remember a time when messing around along its edges was really a lot of fun. I'll meet you there; either end is fine.
You aren't afraid of having feelings for someone because you're totally going to love me.
A little caveat please.. I like real time better, k? And not one-time real time either.. that's just a bit too unlikely for me. I'm wicked smart, charmingly naïve, sweetly-dumb on occasion, and never ever intentionally unkind. Please be discerning with me.
Thank you for visiting. Here's one for the road. Turn it up.
xo ← for you :)
xo ← another just for you.
xo ← ok, one more... geez, let's just take our clothes off already ;)