1. Quit ranking me with the stars thing as your way of saying hey. I can't see it unless I pay for it, which isn't going to happen.
2. Every time you send a shirtless, headless pic to a lady on here a puppy somewhere in the world commits suicide.
3. Yes I do judge you if you are age X and looking for someone only equal to or younger than X. Note that I will consider ages above or below my current age margin of 5 below or 5 above, but it would have to be a special case if I go beyond that. If I don't respond, that's not you, so plz stop assuming I have some reason to casually date 60 year-olds unless you're a silverfox like Patrick Stewart.
4. I wear heels maybe once or twice a year. They are bad for your feet, your legs, your back, and your ability to run away in a disaster.
5. I also cut off all my hair after realizing that long hair serves exactly one purpose: decoration. And if that hair (which is super thick) takes three hours to dry and interferes with my ability to go for a bike ride, get myself muddy and sweaty, and then shower without having this wet mop attached to my face for the next three hours, then the hair has got to go. So it went.
6. The purpose of human connection is human connection; brain chemicals and all that good shit; what happens when you hug someone for a few full seconds. I don't want a "relationship" per se, but if you don't want to make some kind of actual connection with me (in addition to whomever else you want to make a connection with, which is fine and cool by me) then there's no point. Nonmonogamy or casual sex is the absence of one thing only: possession. It is not the absence of feeling or courtesy, you blockhead. Official relationships are the new marriage, and I would only get into one for the right reasons. But guess what? You're in a relationship with every person you know. And you have to work at each and every one of them - which incidentally is the same thing that makes them fun. Bonus! So please apply only if you have a baseline EQ. Kthxbai.
7. The thing about OKcupid vs The Real World, is that in the latter, I might make friends with a guy I am not attracted to at all, and slowly fall madly in love with him. In other words: I would totally ignore the OKcupid profiles of the guys I've been madly in love with. However, I cannot go out on dates with every guy I am *not* attracted to either. Nobody has time for that. Just pointing out the nature of these things.
8. I like men who wear powder pink shirts with gusto; oozing with masculinity. I was home schooled for awhile and I spent hours and hours watching Turner Classic Movies and Star Trek, so my earliest crushes were on Cary Grant, Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly.... and Captain Picard.
9. I had a fairly unique upbringing. I was a very entrepreneurial child, and started and ended three small businesses before I turned 21. I dropped out of high school in ninth grade so that I could read and work on my own projects, and it was one of the best things I've ever done for myself. I went to art school and hated it, but I love to learn new things.
10. I used to raise baby birds in an incubator, and I gave them viking funerals when they died, in origami paper boats.
11. I have never learned to drive.
12. I tend to fall in love with the kind of men Bjork writes songs about. After originally posting this, a dude linked to my profile saying that the type of dude Bjork writes songs about is not on OKcupid. I beg to differ. I have met some extraordinary men on here who would drive Bjork "Violently Happy" with desire. That said, "Venus as A Boy" is more my speed.
13. I'm looking for a nice guy that really is genuinely nice, but isn't looking for a little barefoot wifey, and understands the real, man-loving, academic, ACTUAL definition of the word feminism. A girl shouldn't have to date a "bad guy" to get the freedom and the "nice guy" to get the love. I shouldn't have to choose (although if I HAD to, freedom is always more important) And by freedom I mean basic of freedoms, like being able to have platonic friendships with other males without you getting all ape-like and predatory about it.
14. I like other people's kids a lot, I just don't want them myself. I want more out of my life than being a host organism. Other people can populate the species. If you have had a vasectomy you just became my new best friend. What I want is somebody to come home to (eventually), but not somebody who wants me to build them a home a la Betty Draper. Why make a family together when you can have adventures together? For now, that's what I want. Ideally a "primary" or relationship would result from all that at some point, especially because as we get older, I think it's more important to not live alone.
15. I am an INFP if you're into that sort of thing.
16. Cindy Gallop's views on sex should be required viewing for all men who are interested in having it
I eat well and I try to work out at least every other day. Organic food is important to me. One must be their own FDA these days. I am obsessed with sushi. I like being in the woods, particularly because I'm real pale and I burst into flames if there isn't ample tree cover. I live in the Presidio so I basically live in a paradise of cycling, views, quiet, and hiking trails.
"I figured it out! You're Annie Oakley!" - Spencer
"You're a Venusian Hamster" - Michael
"Well aren't you a Cheeky Little Rule Breaker?" - A former professor
"You'd be like a degree away from Amish if it wasn't for your MacBook" - Zach
"You look like you just walked out of a pinup" - Barack (yes THAT one)
"If only you were more perverted or I was more refined" - Erik
"You're like Bobby Fischer meets Drew Barrymore meets Che Guevera" - Tomas
"Your outfits are so coordinated it makes me sick" - Sam
"Never failing us, you are, as expected, beautiful art with a pulse." - Wendy
Star Trek, Mad Men, space documentaries
My various Apple devices without which I'd be lost forever