scottish_pirate
30 Las Vegas, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
scottish_pirate
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Disclaimer: I am only half Scottish, but I do own an authentic kilt.

I am a smartass. The pleasant kind. Though born and raised in the fine state of Tennessee, I always wanted to escape the chicken-fried clutches of the South. This led me to a midwestern law school, and after discovering it was pretty much the same old same old there, I moved to California to start a career as an attorney. After a stroke of good luck, I got hired out of nowhere for a firm in Vegas that does all kinds of cool work in the fields of intellectual property and First Amendment law. It's good stuff.

I am an unabashed nerd, with a love of video games, comics, anime, theatre, and campy movies. Chocolate also occupies a large space in my heart. Other hobbies include incredibly silly dancing and fervent argumentation.

I am a good conversationalist with a hefty mound of snark, accompanied by a willingness to speak on almost any subject, whether or not I have any knowledge of it. I can appreciate a good time in any form, be it dancing, conversation, watching old movies, or singing incredibly bad renditions of 80s power ballads.

Also, my Marklar is huuuuge. Like, you have no idea.
What I’m doing with my life
Working at the coolest damn job for a law firm in Vegas. It involves free speech, intellectual property, and porn.

Also getting acquainted with Las Vegas now that I actually have some amount of time to enjoy the place.
I’m really good at
Video games, writing, making a fool of myself in public without a hint of visible shame, arguing people into submission (not unlike using a linguistic club on an unassuming and delicious baby seal), being wildly inappropriate, looking good in a suit, and littering mundane conversations with obscure cultural references.
The first things people usually notice about me
Half notice my partially white hair (a natural phenomenon). The other half take note of my voice, which many have likened to that of a radio announcer.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: A Confederacy of Dunces, World War Z, 1984, Battle Royale, Enders Game, Y: The Last Man, Sandman, the Song of Ice and Fire series, Mother Night, Sophie's Choice.

Movies: Rocky Horror Picture Show, Big Fish, Mary and Max, Shaun of the Dead, V for Vendetta, The Big Lebowski, Pan's Labyrinth, The Room (because Tommy Wiseau is a GENIUS).

TV Shows: Twin Peaks, Community, Mad Men, Firefly, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Arrested Development, Archer, 30 Rock, Venture Brothers, Sherlock, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, 100 years Rick and Morty.

Music: Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Blind Melon, Daft Punk, The Polish Ambassador, Johnny Cash.

Food: An array of nationalities, but I have a particular affection for Thai iced tea, sushi, and anything Italian.
The six things I could never do without
A vehicle (at least while in most of America)
Laptop (Reddit falls into this category)
Hot chocolate with Kahlua
Video games
Robust conversation
Cards Against Humanity
I spend a lot of time thinking about
1). How utterly dysfunctional the country's political system is right now.
2). Whether the current trend of intellectual property proliferation will be reversed within my lifetime.
3.) REDACTED
4). The implications of a dubstep gun.
On a typical Friday night I am
Wrestling bears.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I spent three years getting paid to dress as Richard Simmons and perform a Sweating to the Oldies routine.
You should message me if
You like the idea of someone who talks well, listens better, has effectively no reservations, is possibly smarter than you, possesses a profound degree of snark, and at all times remains a consummate gentleman unless you request otherwise.

I like women who are smart, sharp-tongued, gorgeous, nerdy, ambidextrous, precogniscient, and possibly prosopagnosiatic. And those who want to both pet and not pet Shcrodinger's cat.

I enjoy loquacity, so please send messages with more substance than "hi how r u." Extra points will be awarded for messages in limerick form.
More