29Madison, United States
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My self-summary
Extrovert with social anxiety.

I have a giant heart. But don't worry, I take pills for the angina.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a librarian and I want to make people laugh. Those are my deals.
I’m really good at
bragging about myself. Seriously, nobody is better at bragging than me. When I brag about myself, people are like "Wow, bro. I've never seen somebody who stood so bravely on the border between confidence and arrogance."

Yes, they even say the "bro" part. No, I don't know how to get them to stop. That's not something I'm good at.
The first things people usually notice about me
is that I signal for beers incorrectly, and that unlike a REAL German, I've foolishly extended my ring, middle and pointer fingers.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
This is by no means an exhaustive list. Start a conversation with me about things you like! I might like those things, also!

Hellboy by Mike Mignola
Guards! Guards! By Terry Pratchett
A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket
This is Not My Hat by Jon Klassen

Steven Universe
Gravity Falls
The Daily Show
Last Week Tonight

Six things I could never do without
I've been doing without it for a while and I think it's killing me, so... trees. I miss trees. At least six is necessary to make it properly enclosed, I think. Arranged in a hexagon.

Trees: They are us.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I spend a lot of time thinking about... something. What is it? What does it want from us? Is it dangerous? And what is that, gripped in the silhouette of its uncountable, writhing tentacles?
On a typical Friday night I am
Recovering from a long week at work. Reading, playing video games, writing, or going to the comedy club. Come with me!
You should message me if
It is my opinion that you should message me. I am a funny person to talk to. One way that I am funny is that I was talking to my friend Colin and he said "What is that" and I said "It's a fart" and Colin laughed. That is why you should message me.
The two of us