36Chicago, United States
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My self-summary
I have been told by more than one person that I am louder than God. Also, I only have awesome friends.
What I’m doing with my life
Mostly working. I work in TV so I can pretend that I can make you famous.
I’m really good at
The first things people usually notice about me
I just checked out your rack.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books - Please hear me out on this one. I don't read books with any regularity. Yes, I know exactly how ignorant that makes me sound but I have a decent enough reason: I am a writer on a daily live TV show. I write eleven hours a day, every day. The absolute last thing I want to do in my free time is sit in a chair and look at words. I'd rather cook or play music. Plus, probably 90% of the dudes who list books here are full of shit anyway. They ain't read dick, yo.

Movies - The more explodey the better. But yeah, I'll watch your netflix docs without complaining. I'm smart but every now and then my brain just needs it some titties and car chases. Who doesn't like titties and car chases? Oh, you don't? Then... like... Kurosawa.

TV - SNL. The Wire. Metalocalypse. South Park. Archer. Parks and Recreation. Anything David Attenborough touches. Stewart & Colbert. Key & Peele. Odenkirk & Cross. Pinkman & White.

Music - Ween, Flaming Lips, CAKE, anything with trombone, Charlie Hunter, old R&B like Carla & Rufus & Sam & Dave, Jack White's bands in chronological order, Dethklok, Christmas music year-round and if I were polydeistic I'd have to say that the four gods of rock are Page, Plant, Bonham, and Jones. Also if I say Tori Amos or some shit does that get me more laid? Is that how this works? Okay, Tori Amos it is.

I also listen to and go to a lot of stand-up comedy and comedy podcasts. Humor is important.

Food - WTF OKCupid? Why do you want me to lump food in with my media preferences? Food is an essential part of this whole I Don't Want To Die thing I got going on. David Sedaris is not. Anyway, yes, I make and eat food. I'm way too good at both.
Six things I could never do without
If I had a magic genie and he gave me three wishes I'd ask for unlimited wishes. I bet you wouldn't have thought to do that. I bet you would've asked for world peace or something else super lame like that. Whatever. Enjoy your world without awesome war movies, I'll be in my space jacuzzi watching Full Metal Jacket again.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Becoming a pet magician. Also seaplanes.
On a typical Friday night I am
doing something awesome with awesome people.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I can't orgasm unless I've consumed three whole pineapples.
You should message me if
You need help getting 3 stars on any given Angry Birds level.
The two of us