DISCLAIMER: There is a WHO behind this profile as well as a WHAT. I am more interested in the WHO in your profile than the WHAT.
DISCLAIMER 2 (Electric Boogaloo!): I am incredibly verbose and a believer in clear, concise communication. As such, my profile is on the longish side, and contains no TL;DR-style summary in it. But I try to at least make it worth the read by peppering it with humor. Trust me, it's worth the read.
DISCLAIMER 3 - The Revenge: Subvert the patriarchy by taking the initiative and message me first.
Now that's over with, about me.
I'm a dynamic and creative individual who frequently and spontaneously breaks into song - or bursts out snippets of a conversation that only I can hear ("Or should I say: Declan MacDonald, INTERNATIONAL ART THIEF!"). I doodle, I drum on my knees. I will yell at the television screen, especially when something stupid is on.
I am polyamorous. Getting a message from me does not mean I'm trying to arrange a threesome or do something behind a partner's back.
I am also unabashedly a geek. Comic books, sci-fi movies/TV, medieval reenactment, cartoons, games of all sorts - these are all intrinsically part of who I am. My hobbies, my clothes, my sense of humor are saturated with geekisms. I don't have many requirements, but the willingness to be exposed to multiple levels of geekiness is one of them.
I love the power of language. I have a rich vocabulary - a friend of mine said she needed a dictionary when I texted her. But I believe that words can harm or heal.
That being said, if you do take the initiative and actually message me first (kudos for doing so), PLEASE have actual content in your message aside from "Hi" or it's many, single-word equivalents. I realize that a lot of conversations begin with "Hello", but those are conversations that are initiated IN PERSON, where your body language is communicating far more than your mouth is. I don't care about small talk, I want to know about your opinions on magic, what was the last thing that made you laugh in a philosophical sense, or what food are you sorry (not sorry) for liking. I'm not looking for a hookup, I'm looking for an experience.
More than anything, I want to be a time-traveling mad scientist from the 1890s with a tails coat and an airship. But I'll settle for being Buck Rogers or John Steed.
EDIT: I am an INFP for those who are interested. I'm also Enneagram 2 (whatever that means).
EDIT 2: I am also the god of pineapple juice, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
Simply put, I feel like a car that's being restored - I may not be able to perform like I once had, but I am doing better.
I'm now employed doing technical support. I hope to be able to get back to school - my ultimate goal is to get into film making somehow. It'll happen.
I live with two cats: one mine, the other my former roommate's. I will spend days making up conversations that they have with each other. (She's a spoiled princess and he's a slow-brained mama's boy! It's a comedy that must be seen to be believed!)
Speaking of which...
Games. ALL THE GAMES. Board games, video games, card games (especially poker): the lot. Playing games is a wonderful way to get to know someone.
(Not mind games. I have no tolerance for the emotionally manipulative.)
(And not bedroom games either. Okay, maybe later. Let's not get ahead of ourselves.)
Cooking - I can make a curry that is like tantric sex in your taste buds. If your mouth can't handle having a Kundalini experience in it - you don't want me cooking for you.
Dancing - I recently made this deal with myself, so I participate regularly in an ecstatic dance community and can cut a rug rather adeptly, given my ursine build.
Writing - I write mostly science fiction and screenplays, but every now and then I think about dusting off the ol' "Mr. Belvedere/ALF" fic again.
On that note: converting pop culture references into Elizabethan-era English.
"Dost thine milkshake bringeth all rude knaves to thine yard?"
Just about anything else creative - I am a left-brained jack-of-all-trades.
Second: My thick mane of hair. It has recently been cut, and I'm liking it short now. Plus lately it's felt like the reason why I was keeping it long was so other people could enjoy it - not a good thing.
Third: My eyes. I tend to make eye contact a lot.
My tastes are pretty eclectic, but here goes.
(a) Books: Illuminatus! by RA Wilson, Philip K. Dick, Dune, Umberto Eco, Christopher Moore, Irvine Welsh, Tom Robbins.
(b) Movies: Too goddamn many to list, but I'll watch anything by David Cronenberg, Terry Gilliam, Stanley Kubrick, Luis Bunuel, Pedro Almodovar, or Akira Kurosawa.
(c) Music: I listen to anything with a good beat to it. (Except most Country that's come out after 1980 - romanticizing a rural lifestyle is one thing, but most "Modern Country" is a celebration of drinking, spousal abuse, and hating on minorities.)
One of my hobbies is scouring the share groups for obscure bands that no one's ever heard of before. (like Os Mutantes) My hard drive is full of World music and pop songs from non-English speaking countries. (I just got ahold of a playlist of North African revolutionary rap.)
I'm also a HUGE fan of mashups. So if you get a mix CD from me, expect to hear Metallica remixed with Herbie Hancock (or something equally bizarre).
(d) Food: I'm a gourmand of sorts and enjoy all kinds of cuisine, especially Japanese (including sushi), Chinese, East Indian, and Italian. I'm also a pretty good cook too and will do so if asked. (Sometimes if I'm not asked - I hope you like baked goods..)
2 - Butterscotch. It is so underrated as a dessert topping, and rather versatile.
3 - Espionage fiction. Everything I know about relationships I learned from Ian Fleming.
4 - Japanese Role-Playing video games. They're like if The Lord of the Rings was written by William S. Burroughs.
5 - Gravity. Null-gravity environments cause so many social faux pas.
6 - My cadre of fanatic assassins and spies. Don't look behind you, just don't.
However, here is a list of six things I CAN do without:
1 - People who think that curing mental disorders are a matter of "dealing with it." It's about as dick a move as telling a paraplegic that they're in a wheelchair because they're lazy.
2 - People who can't take a compliment. I rarely have ulterior motives, if you think my positive comments on your appearance, actions, or behavior are merely a way to get you into bed, you need some SERIOUS SELF-ASSESSMENT.
3 - People who give me a means of contact (phone #, email) and then never respond. If you aren't sincere about maintaining contact with me, don't waste my time.
4 - People who want to "fix" me. I already know what's broken, if I needed any more fixing, I'd hire a professional.
5 - Since the topic is broached, people who want me to "fix" them. I'm a sympathetic listener, and can offer advice, but I'm not a psychiatrist nor a life counselor. It's that whole dragging the horse to water/making it drink paradox.
6 - People who don't respect my boundaries. I'm a person, not a pet.
...Either that or watching Netflix.
I'm also not really from the year 1890, but my body is.
You can give me a convincing argument as to why I should like your least favorite color.
You have the other half of the treasure map.
You need a new perspective.
You can maintain a philosophical discussion while playing head-to-head Tetris.
You'd like to see Schrodinger's Cat get into a fight with Pavlov's Dog.
You need a laugh.
You can sing me a David Bowie song in a foreign language.
You want to blind me with science.
You need someone to get something off the top shelf.
You want the antidote to the poison you just drank.
You fake your death just to see if a religion appears when you "resurrect" three days later.
Your hair that is either cerulian, verdant, or autumnal.
You read dusty classics for pleasure.
You think Aleister Crowley and HP Lovecraft were pen-pals.
You wear costumes even though it's not Halloween.
You need someone to play a game with.
You can do at least 3 stoopid human tricks.
You put "in bed" at the end of fortune cookie fortunes, and then scan the room for potential candidates.