40 Shanghai, China
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I am intense, a bit odd, too smart and struggle to remain within what should constitute a suitable level of snark. I am passionate but cautious. Intellectual but frivolous. Goofy yet practical. I live like I dance: enthusiastic, clumsy and absurd. Shanghai is my home, it has been for a long time, and this city is my great tumultuous love.
What I’m doing with my life
By day, I am a freelance journalist. I am a fairly successful journo, writer, critic, and consultant on the beats of contemporary art, music, theater, film and literature in China, along with fashion, apparel and textiles, manufacturing, business, trade, and retail, environment and development, history, architecture and preservation, linguistics, and health care. My other job is communications and business development for a Shanghainese record label and rock bar. I sometimes also work as a translator of art criticism, and I give great tours of Shanghai street food and cultural history. I also have a small start up business with some friends. I am also a professor at a Chinese university. My life is many things, but rarely boring. The downside is that my hobbies, my jobs and my social lives are rather hopelessly intermixed.
I’m really good at
- Sleeping
- Reading
- Entertaining cats
- Making martinis: Shanghai's best
- Languages and language
- "Dot connecting", I am the Shanghai Guanxi Nvwang
- Mass mentoring young Chinese nerd girls
- Cooking (well, slightly good)
- Analytical conversation
- Internet shopping

I am NOT, at all, good at:
- Suffering fools
- Cleaning
- Balance
- Any sports involving balls
- Small talk
- Humility
- Pride
- Social markers in any culture
The first things people usually notice about me
That I am vastly less bitchy than my reputation.

I am very outgoing, but also very introverted. I take a while to get comfortable enough with people to really let it rip. Then, well, I am not sure but I expect that what comes out is that I am smart and that I take care of people. I love helping people, strangers or friends, setting them up with a job, an assistant, a masseuse, a gym, whatever: it is not entirely altruistic, I do enjoy the dot connecting. I love and "collect" people, because people are so awesome and fascinating and bizarre, and our lives are short and what we make of them for better or worse is amazing.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I ingest books, two or three a week, mostly nonfiction.

I am a China history nerd, and my favorite China writers are Jeff Wasserstrom and Lynn Pan and John Gittings. And Qiu Xiaolong, and Duncan Hewitt, and Alex Harney, and Wang Anyi, and...and...

Right now I am mawing through the ouvre of James Mann, good if dense stuff. I just read for the first delicious time "To Kill a Mockingbird", and before that while down with a flu "Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell". I will be contemplating something entirely else next week.

I do love genre fiction, and television. I currently watch: 30 Rock, Parks & Rec, Community, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Homeland, Game of Thrones. Old favorites: West Wing, Veronica Mars, Buffy, Angel, The Wire, earlier Simpsons.

Food! I love food, a bit too much. Stinky tofu and heavy cheese split my heart like a half-peeled hairy crab. I am a vegetarian/pescavore/flexavore; I think meat is a waste of resources and calories when there is cheese, carbs and stinky tofu in the world. But I make an exception for xiaolongbao, guotie and shengjian. I am not very good at being a vegetarian, but I try.

The only thing I really miss about the US, apart from individual people, is good Mexican and Greek food. I waitressed in a Greek restaurant during college, and...I don't want to think about it. But I am trying to learn to make good Mexican food, and my tortillas are approaching edible.
The six things I could never do without
- my friends
- my flat
- my cat
- my gadgets (laptops, cameras, smartphone)
- my notebooks and pens
- my stimuli (art, music, longjing, coffee, martinis)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
what the world would be like if cats had opposable thumbs
On a typical Friday night I am
At a gallery opening, then to dinner with the artist and curator. Or at a play. Then either to Mao or Yuyintang for a concert, and/or home early with a beer and a book.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Of my many odd hobbies, one involves buying cinnamon oil by the liter.
You should message me if
You are in Shanghai, interesting, and interested. I'm partial to ethnic Asian guys, but all cute is good cute.

I am not interested in: 1. Random email pals outside of Shanghai. I already have lots of actual friends I don't email enough. 2. Casual sex. 3. Anyone very conservative, sexist, homophobic or racist. (For some reason those three are half the messages I get on here...) 4. Anyone who self-describes, in user name or profile, as a "laowai".