Time for me is often best spent for me in learning about myself, my desires, needs, wants, and values, often by reading, writing, talking with friends and loved ones. I'm curious about the world around us and how I fit in it. It's a terrific and terrifying time to be alive, isn't it?
I've spent the past sevenish years immersing myself in the Baltimore/DC BDSM/Fetish/kink community. It has felt like home for about that long but recently dissatisfaction with the subculture as a whole has helped me look outside our small, insular world. With that said, I'm currently diving back in where I'm comfortable doing so. Previously, I've been extremely involved to the point that I barely knew any vanilla folks. Maybe it's just that the grass is greener, but I'd like a more eclectic and diverse mix of people in my life now. I'd hesitate at this point to call it a "lifestyle" but it's definitely a very key part of my sexuality and nothing I'd consider giving up right now or for the foreseeable future.
My usual preference is cis women and individuals who are generally gender non-normative; In general, I prefer people who are a feminine and/or androgynous, especially if it's a conscious presentation and not just subscribed to as what society expect based on one's assumed chromosomes. If you have sexy hair, delicious smelling armpits, and can actually hold a conversation, you could be high up on my list. I can certainly find people attractive from a distance but there won't be attraction until we talk. Basically the idea of dating a straight, vanilla, monogamous woman is pretty laughable at this point. Pronouns of choice are he/him/his or they/them/theirs.
What I look for in a partner is first and foremost kindness. I'm a better listener than talker, so finding the balance of conversation cadence is important. Finding an organic path for a relationship to emerge as opposed to having a predetermined route for how a dynamic between individuals will play out has suited me well over the years. Overall, I've noticed that I have a pattern of attracting and being attracted to intelligent, gorgeous, sub-oriented switches with unique or interesting gender expressions, but that lean towards a femme presentation.
Deal breakers? Hard to say, as I bet I could find exceptions to almost all these but I'll start with smoking, heavy drinking/drug use, monogamy, strong associations with most churches, Republican/Libertarian political viewpoints, nonconsensual misogyny, goal-oriented mindsets towards relationships, Men's Rights Movement association, and possessiveness.
I'm waiting for the weather to break to get back on my bike. As I mentioned above, I got heavily invested in bicycling and logged 3,000+ miles in 2014.
In my self-explorations of polyamory, I found that I was neglecting to watch out for myself and be the partner that my partner/s deserved. I'm learning more everyday about what makes me tick and what I want out of life. It's truly a great feeling and to feel confident that I deserve that is even better. I currently have three people that I consider active partners in my life, I've decided that I want to focus on making new friends that I'm not fucking and those that I do fuck should have some kind of emotional investment. Previously, I wanted to be wanted. Now I'd prefer to be valued.
Bringing out the best in people
Biking for way longer distances than I thought I could
That I carry a "Satchel" (I'm fine with Murse)
My witty charm
Confidence in my smile
Fashion style & sense of humor
My "magnetic energy"
Movies: Anything by Quentin Tarantino, kung fu movies, The Dark Knight, The Matrix, V For Vendetta, Black Snake Moan, Rent, Spirited Away, Boondock Saints, Spirited Away, Fight Club (yes, Fight Club), Sin City, Shortbus, 12 Monkeys, anything with a unique plotline. Romantic comedies need not apply. Basically, if the trailer shows zero detail of the plot, I'll probably have no interest. I'm also open to watching good anime. (Update: all the documentaries and TED Talks, please).
TV - Netflix queue? Does that actually count? Breaking Bad, Jessica Jones are current favs.
Music: Like a sizable number of white suburban kids who grew up in the 90's I liked most things with distorted guitar, loud drums and angry vocals. I'm currently expanding my market in seeking out genres I wouldn't give the time of day to (typically music from the first half of the 20th century) including jazz, blues, samba, Latin music, reggae, etc. I have to really be in the mood for Electronically. Overall, my biggest requirements for enjoying a piece of music is that its written well and performed well. Sounds easy but its really not that easy.
Food: I'm currently in the process of starting to follow a diet/lifestyle. Good thing I never really learned to cook, I'd have to unlearn lots of things too. Generally speaking, spicy is good, but only if flavor is still there and not just heat.
Video games: Destiny logs more of my time than I care to admit...
so much alternativeness I can has.
Grammar and sentence structure sometimes gets the best of me. I'm far more embarrassed about this fact rather than the above mentioned one.
By now, you probably know if you want to message me. You probably already know if I'll message back. Go for it.
If you do decide to message me, we have an exchange, and I fall off the face of the earth, please write me back. I've likely just let my inbox lap and have been progressively worse at prompt responses on this site. My apologies.
If for a first date you want to go biking together on one of Baltimore's trails for an hour or two, show or tell me about your favorite places in the city, and end up at an eatery where we can actually have a healthy meal together that didn't cost a fortune, you should definitely message me.