28Melbourne, Australia
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My self-summary
Used to live in Ontario, then was living in the mountains in Alberta, then living it up in Whistler, BC, then Ontario again, now I'm in Melbourne, Australia. Read ahead for more details about my strange but entertaining life.

My name is Brian, I was born in a volcano while it was erupting during a full moon; sadly, none of that is true...but it's what will be emblazoned on my 20 foot tall platinum tombstone in strobing LED lights. Also "Rock you like a Hurricane" by The Skorpions will be playing on constant loop through massive loud speakers powered by solar panels. Not that I spend much time thinking about this, of course.

I've got good stories, from smoking weed inside a glacier to riding a motorbike through the Australian outback. Also one time I bought a fork that was normally $4 for $2.50! I SAVED $1.50 MOTHERFUCKER. Sadly it was an uninspiring fork.

I enjoy movies that turn your brain around and movies where things just blow up for an hour and a half - although getting both is pretty sweet. Music is a big thing; I sing and play guitar. My favourite type of music is metal - but that being said I've been on a huge Caravan Palace kick lately. If I had to describe myself in six words I'd say "I like doing fun things" and make the sixth word "puppies", because let's be honest. Who doesn't love puppies?
I'd probably punctuate it better, though, so as to make it not sound like I enjoy doing puppies. That's weird and should not be discussed in a conversation that didn't start by giving a credit card number.

What am I looking for in a girl...a question typically answered when I find it. I need someone who is intelligent and will laugh with me at ridiculous things on the internet, at least. Everything else is details.

If you've got any questions ask me, The worst thing that will happen is I'll be insanely offended and think less of you as a person.

Also...I'm a weird guy. You will learn this. If weird dudes aren't your thing, best ye keep on there buddy. Unless you wanna exchange witticisms. Always love me some witticism exchangin'.
What I’m doing with my life
Even the people with great direction ask themselves that almost constantly.

Right now? Exploring the world. Later is later!

"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost"

Also I dabble in being an internet music guy. Here's my youtube channel:
I’m really good at
Guitar and swordplay! Neither of which make me money!


In all seriousness I work pretty well as a translator - not from a foreign language, but I can normally figure out what people are trying to say (as opposed to what they don't realize they're saying).
The first things people usually notice about me
My hair.

I'll understand if you want to play with it, just please ask first. (But if you don't I'm probably not gonna lost sleep over it)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
So many things, and such a wide variety of them. I'll work on a list.

That's a bald faced lie. I have much better things to do with my time.

Fantasy literature/movies/games, specifically anything Dresden Files.

But mostly anything. Just ask.
Six things I could never do without
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The nature of human interaction.

Also, this:

Yeah, Louis CK is kind've a shaman:
On a typical Friday night I am
There isn't really a typical Friday night. I like kareoke, but I also enjoy getting crap-on-other-people's lawns drunk with friends and having a house party.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
You should message me if
You got sucked through a portal into an alternate reality and kidnapped by goblins. I could contribute to your rescue like a motherfucker.

Also, if you have a vagina. If you're a woman but you were born with a penis, two things:
1) I'm fucking stoked that you've found your true gender and I will gladly high 5 you as much as you should wish.
2) I have no sexual interest in the penis, outside of my own which I've generally enjoyed and will probably continue on with despite several infractions on it's part.
But also, no hatred here. Just trying to be honest and save us both some time.
The two of us