31 Washington, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
"The world is a dick, fuck you for aging us and teasing humans with love. Okay, don't care 'bout the first contestant, but here he is..."*

*China, Il, "Rewind, Pause, Pay!" Season 1, Ep. 1 (Oct. 2, 2011).
What I’m doing with my life
laughing at you, most likely
I’m really good at
turbo-charging beer
The first things people usually notice about me
hell, that's a good question...ask them
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
See generally Against Me!, “Don't Lose Touch,” in Searching for a Former Clarity (Fat Wreck Chords 2005).
The six things I could never do without
Your witty sarcasm about food, air, water, etc. (seriously, you're the first to think of that gem); hipsters and rednecks (what would the world be without complete idiots?); the college industrial complex (why wouldn't you want 100k+ in student debt for an average return of 30k/year?); vegetarians/vegans/carnivores (that debate will never get old); the irs + congress (a winning combination of high taxation and little investment); and AR-15's (I find I need the ability to mow down upwards of 30 people in a single outburst daily, don't you?)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
money, and how to get more of it.
On a typical Friday night I am
not in New Jersey.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I find that a majority of the people I encounter on a daily basis are clowns, characters, or tool bags, which provides endless entertainment, but also aggravation. Kudos to the minority of people who aren't playing some sort of role (if you think you are in that minority, you most likely are not)
You should message me if
You figured out the "stale is to steal..." question; I'm shocked at the amount of people who got it wrong; you can LEGITIMATELY explain to me how a nuclear war would be exciting what with fallout, radiation poisoning, uninhabitable land, undrinkable water, starvation, radioactive rain, mass destruction, mass scale fires, and looting to contend with (and don't say you'll be one of the survivors in some sort of dystopian future because odds would be that you, yes you, would be dead or painfully dying)...woo exciting!

I enjoy the hilarity of the utterly BAT-SHIT CRAZY profiles I've been reading, frankly I couldn't care less if you message me. I get tons of entertainment simply from profile browsing so keep the craziness coming ladies and gentlemen.