26Washington, United States
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My self-summary
Banned from fetlife (FL) as well as facebook (FB) , as well as twitter, instagram, twatter, imgur, orkut, monster, tinder, grinder, rateme, and eharm, I found myself on here. Welcome, me.

I am fairly famous. You might have seen me on TV, namely on the Animal Planet's series "Monsters Inside Me" as well as Discovery's "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant".

For a living, I combine pleasure with business: I write poems, novels and short screenplays on topics such as paranormal romance including vampires, shifters, mermaids, fae, angels, dragons, ghosts, sprites, leprechauns, and similar profitable figures these days. Due to increasing popularity of BDSM, I have also started focusing on sexual and perverse sagas involving whips, chains and strap-ons.

I'm plainly gorgeous in real life and you should be as well. This is not negotiable. Outer beauty is where it's at. Furthermore, I'm a khunt. If that's your thing, you've arrived at the right place. Now sit back and take it all in.

I truly feast on this lovefest that is online dating buffet. I'll milk it until the cows come home. I am a true believer of many things and some of those are LTR and BLT. I dig stuffed mushrooms, a variety of pu pu platters, and the Disney movie Eraserhead. Lastly but not leastly, I am a gastronomer and a poet: In my fun spare time I love to daydream and float in space, diving into the vast deep purple haze. *

*A courtesy outline was provided to me by Okcupid to write this first and foremost paragraph for which I am grateful.

I do not use recreational or non recreational drugs.

Now in Sanskrit:
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir. Ce qui se passera aux calendes grecques.
What I’m doing with my life
Fuck like I know.

Rock out with my $ out.
I have a truly awful sense of humour.
Excuse me (while I kiss [...]).

What I'm also doing with life is trying to live it a little. Not in moderation. I don't learn via trial and error but through a head on collision mainly.

An inebriated sage once told me: "Don't worry 'bout the dumb shit." It's all been a one big bright eureka ever since.

Realizing that according to OKC, I am more sloppy, more drug friendly, more sex driven and arrogant than I originally thought! Oh lawd have mercy.
I’m really good at
Looking beautiful.
Walking in 6.75 inch stilettos.
Self procreation.
Giving affordable psychological advice.
Letting people fall in love with me.
Being me.
Being highly inappropriate and a prude. Simultaneously.
Being a sheep(le) in the disguise of a big bad wolf.
Enjoying my real self.
Enjoying your self and your wallet.
The first things people usually notice about me
Being a complete skankoholic. If you're at a certain age when you have absolutely no clue what that means, there's no reason for you to waste my time by reading my profile any further.

My height perhaps?
The only other person I know who's taller than me is my father who is 6'4.5". On the other hand, my mother is only 4'11". Proof that opposites attract.

People who meet me off this site tell me..."whoa shortie, you didn't lie about your height. But damn girl, you were not truthful about your weight. You look about 30 lbs. less." Whatever. Many guys that I've met off of the internet lied to me about the amount of their hair, age, paycheck and marital status, in addition to the size of their genitalia. So it happens I haven't had many second dates.

My eyes? They're electric blue. I tell people, thank you but these are actually contacts. Subsequently they ask about the brand and price. I tell them about the contact eye exam costing about a hundred dollars. At discount places. They say fuck it and leave without saying bye. You should not.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'm an extremely low maintenance type of chick; 4-5 pizzas on a weekly basis ain't gonna break your bank. My fav is Pizza Papa Hut, mostly. They have amazing recession and broke-ass proof pizzas. No monies were received during making of this section of the profile.

Shows-movies-cartoons: anything mind-fucking.
Books: anything mind-fucking. In the academia sense.
Melodies: a re/mix of Lucy in the Sky and Windowlicker.
Food, aside from pizza: yummy meaty subs. As in submissives.
Six things I could never do without
Me♥, myself and I.
Times two.

(Tricky question but actually a no brainer.)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The great universal matters of WTF.

Now, back to the scheduled mandatory OK paragraph, i.e., I spend my life thinking about:

All the good things Internet has to offer.
How beautiful the world and I is.
What's on tv at the moment.
How much less money I'll be making next month.
How many children I'll manage to pop out.
My financially stimulating husband.
My liberal boyfriend.
My BFF fuck buddy.
On a typical Friday night I am
Depends. If it's a very typical Black Friday, I'm likely amok.

But seriously, either hanging out with my friends in Anacostia or getting my dance on ...wherever the local tipsy hotties bump'n grind.

Every other typical Friday night I enjoy a quiet down time and stay in, by the fire, and I also happen to masturbate to this.

Otherwise, on a typical Friday night involving a full moon, I conduct love spells. If you have your photo posted here, it is highly likely I will whip up a spell and subsequently you will fall for me, hard.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Oh pleaze. This inquiry infuriates me as I value privacy too much to reveal and/or admit to anything of worth online, for it is a jungle out here. Nevertheless, I do admit things of private kind when massively drunk.

I have a detachable penis.
You should message me if
You, like me, identify as an extraterrestrial as well as a scientologist and seek the best match to mate with, in terms of a perfect complementary deoxyribonucleic acid fit.

You enjoy short term dating, as opposed to long term dating.
You want to offer ideas as to how to spice up my profile and make it even sexier.

Please refrain from contacting me if you're a slore. Those have been throwing themselves at me since the mid 90's.

Also, please stop stalking me if you don't have a worthwhile romance to bring to the table.

Additionally, do not message me if you're more or less a fug.
The two of us