32Washington, United States
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My self-summary
I am a relatively standard mix of ambitious and angsty and lazy.
What I’m doing with my life
Trying to round out this game:
Round 1: What is your favorite color?
The Most Pretentious Answer: International Klein Blue
Round 2: What is your favorite meme?
The Most Pretentious Answer: Agriculture
Round 3: What breaks your heart?
The Most Pretentious Answer: Derivative Art
I’m really good at
Exploiting the "loveless, sexless marriage" loophole during particularly unpalatable rounds of fuck/marry/kill.

I tend to reserve the "biblical, polygamous marriage" loophole for special occasions.

Burying my own earnestness under a socially appropriate layer of sarcasm and razor sharp wit.

Also my pics are over here.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
alien & aliens, peanut butter, avocados, cormac mccarthy, the atlantic, mostly easy pop music (i do not try hard here), the knowles-carter kingdom, spicy anything, green & white tea, snatch, anchorman, galaxy quest, anything scary that is not torture porn, guillermo del toro, christopher nolan's non batman stuff, metafilter, pie

an entire pie
Six things I could never do without
my tiny dog
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to make nihilism sexy to rockstars.
Hey baby. Hey.
On a typical Friday night I am
Accepting that I am old enough to shun the living in favor of binge watching tv/movies on netflix with my room mates.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I did the friends with benefits thing a while ago. The second time this gentleman and I agreed to "hang out" we went to grab dinner down the street. I was in the middle of recounting a story about how I signed a saving it for marriage pledge during my (evangelical) teenage years, when, to my horror, an older man at a table nearby stood up and started to walk over to our booth. I was absolutely floored that I was going to have to deal with this, that I had offended some older conservative dude with all my talking of sex and religion with such profanity to the point that he was going to interrupt my "date" to check on the state of my soul when I was just trying to get dinner before getting laid.

It was my dad.
He occasionally drives through nova for work. Was planning on stopping by to surprise me after he grabbed dinner.

Instead we all had dinner. Together.
Me and my Dad and my new friend.

When new friend (finally) left for a minute to go to the restroom, I of course burst into a "WHAT THE FUCK DAD WHY ARE YOU HERE?!" and all he had to say was "That guy is a joke and you know it."

You should message me if
you have a more nuanced version of humor than absolutely nothing held sacred.

you want to meet up but don't actually care whether the end result is romantic or sexy times or whatever.

you can be charming.
The two of us