42San Jose, United States
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My self-summary
(updated 24 may 2016)
*NOTE: No longer an A-list member... cannot see likes*
it was time to adjust this, to better reflect the current reality of things, and to call out pertinent information toward the top of my profile.

i'm non-monogamous. i don't go in for too many labels apart from that, but i have several partners, and am open to meeting others. the intricate dance of catching up with folks when possible, sharing with many people, and allowing what emotions may develop to do precisely that just feels natural for me. and while that's but a portion of my life, considering that this is a dating site, i figured it was a good portion to put first.

apart from that, in order not to ramble, i'll do the remainder semi-bulleted:
- i've been divorced for almost 10 years... i still talk to my daughter's mother just about every day, and we're good friends, and support to each other in life as well as co-parenting
- said kiddo is on the verge of adulthood, and i'm more at peace with it than i ever figured that i would be. i know she'll still need me, and i'll always be there for her, but she's about to start her own adventures. it's an exciting time!
- i am *not* a bay area native... later this summer, i'll have been here for 6 years, having moved from just outside of DC... i do *NOT* see myself heading back east to live any time soon. or ever. but definitely not soon. that said, i LOVE it out here... the weather is amazing, the people are far more relaxed (even amid the pressure in silicon valley, oddly enough) than most of the areas i lived back east... i just dig it.
- after having been embroiled in too many unhealthy habits over the past 15-20 years, i'm working to make some changes... they'll be slow going, i'm sure, but it's something i want, so i'll get there in time.
- i will *NOT* be having additional children. i have my one, she's amazing, and i decided that was enough. as of last summer, it's now physically impossible... and i'm SO HAPPY about that.

for those who remember the old setup here (yes, i've had an account for quite some time), i am dichotomous, random, and loyal
What I’m doing with my life
- learning to forgive, both others and myself
- learning to better organize my life, so that i can get to all of the things i want to do
- loving my pup, and cuddling her whenever she lets me
- learning to openly share my love, in the many forms that takes
- trying to remember how to just enjoy the small stuff
I’m really good at
pub trivia
bad puns
homemade pizza and chili
remembering random song lyrics
rambling conversations over a few drinks that consume hours and make it feel like minutes
The first things people usually notice about me
my lack of hair... the grey in the beard... my laugh or lopsided grin, i suppose...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
books: the hobbit, hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, cryptonomicon, snow crash, neverwhere, american gods

movies: the princess bride, mirrormask, grosse pointe blank (LOVE john cusack, and most movies involving his sister, joan)... oh, and i think i'm one of 12 people around who absolutely *LOVED* the Wachowskis' take on Speed Racer

music: whatever happens to be on my ipod at any given time, coupled with whatever has come on my latest mix to be delivered... includes: lamb, ugly duckling, jump little children, roger clyne and the peacemakers, mighty mighty bosstones, they might be giants, r.e.m., eagles, jonathan coulton, tori amos... lately, spotify has been feeding my habits, and pandora still makes better playlists than I give it credit for...

food: it's all over the map, really... i've come to believe that most people i really dig love sushi, i could eat (good) mexican most every day, indian (what i know of it) is wonderful, thai is great and the spice makes me happy, italian is hard to go wrong... really, i like to eat... i'm trying to be more active, though, so the evidence of that like is less, well, evident... heh.
Six things I could never do without
* connection
* my ever-changing definition of family, which includes some blood relations, but not all... and the animals i love.
* music (singing, karaoke, soundtrack to speeding down the highway)
* sarcasm (mine and others')
* sunlight
* garlic
I spend a lot of time thinking about
i've been thinking a lot about the meanings of the words "home" and "family" over the past few months... i'm pretty solid on "family", and no, it doesn't only comprise those who share my genetic makeup... but i'm still a bit at a loss for "home"... there are many places that feel a *little* bit like home, or where i have felt like i fit a bit... but i'm not sure i've ever found that place where i know i belong... and as such, the nomad inside of me is getting a little restless again...

i also sometimes think about:
-- specifics for the design of the tattoo i'll be getting soon... now i need to find the artist and save the $$$
-- what's for dinner
-- what is something i haven't done before that i can do this weekend
-- why SO many people with very high match percentages with me live in Oakland... why is this?
On a typical Friday night I am
chilling with my pup, biding time until having to pick up the kiddo from some function, unwinding just a little bit before the sprint of the weekend begins and all the stuff I didn't have time to get to over the week is waiting
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
it seriously disturbs me to see photos with children in them on this site. it may well be that there are children in your life. that's lovely and awesome, but be a kind adult and don't put them on a dating site before they're old enough to understand what's going on. and it's not like anyone i date is going to meet my daughter right away anyway, so they don't need to know what she looks like, either. yeesh.

i also talk for my dog... we have conversations, and i do all of the actual verbalizing. it scares me sometimes how much english she actually seems to understand.

and it's not really "private", but it is insight for you to have, so i suppose it fits here: if your profile says "wants kids" or "might want kids", i'm closing it. good luck to you, but it won't happen with me.

sometimes i can be a very private person. except when i'm not, and i over-share
You should message me if
you think you'd be interested in spending some time with me, and vice versa. you have a slightly off-center view of the area, or of life, or both. or you just want to chat. i'm frequently down for that. just be real.

heck... just say hi. what does either of us have to lose?
The two of us