30Portland, United States
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My self-summary
Edit: 5/4/17: I'm finally getting out of this godforsaken city and heading east in just a few short weeks. The Atlantic is nice this time of year. I can't say I'm going to miss Portland OKC. It's been real.

I’m a bibliobimbo and a card-carrying dudeist living by the Take It Easy Manifesto. My blood is comprised of half whiskey and half fear of my enemies.

I really like Oxford commas (RIP), and rosemary triscuits.
What I’m doing with my life
I've recently completed one of those college degrees- nearly two years in and I'm working retail and crying myself to sleep, drying my tear-stained eyes with my $66,000 diploma.

Other than that, I read, I write, and I press the crosswalk buttons when I'm not even crossing the street.

You can occasionally find me at
I’m really good at
Talking. I even do so in my sleep. You would be so lucky to have the opportunity to wax philosophical with me while I’m preoccupied with REM.

I’m also great at cuddling, riding public transit, drinking beer, gallivanting around town (sometimes naked), counting sheep, procrastinating, and making dirty jokes.
The first things people usually notice about me
My big baby bespectacled blues and my short stature

People call me the SAT whisperer, I have a rather large vocabulary. Blame it on the books.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Do you like Huey Lewis and the News? Their early work was a little too… new wave for my taste, but when sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear crisp sound and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He’s been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor. In ’87, Huey released Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is “Hip to be Square,” a song so catchy, most people don’t listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it’s not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it’s also a personal statement about the band itself.

Is whiskey a food group?
Six things I could never do without
Warm Embraces
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The exact minute I have to wake up to get everything ready for the day- so I can sleep until that moment. Also, sex and avocados. I really like avocados
On a typical Friday night I am
Being merry.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I live in Portland and I don’t ride a bike. I bring shame to my family.

My brother and I are a lot alike. So much so that, given our 98% match, OKCupid put him in my quiver. Rejected.
You should message me if
-You want to see how many times you can watch The Big Lebowski in one day

-You want to go to a monster truck show

-You think Dumbledore is Ronald Weasley

-You can figure out my namesake based on only knowing that he's a producer who can rap and control the maestro.

-You know that no one under the age of 40 can be that much of a Huey Lewis fan.

-You won't judge me for mentioning whiskey 3 times in my profile.

-You giggle

-You gallivant on adventures

-You like beer and whiskey (#4! What is my deal?)

-You don't take life too seriously

-You're an unapologetic cuddler

If you message me “i wood lik 2 penis sex ur vagna butt,” I reserve the right to barf on your new shoes.
The two of us