32Grand Rapids, United States
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My self-summary
Are you single?

Looking for someone cool?

Do you like nachos?

Well have we got a date for you!!

Meet SMOOTHIE(tm), the all-purpose, all-around girl you've been looking for! SMOOTHIE(tm) has been imperfectly formulated to satisfy, appealing to ladies of all walks of life! Made of quality female materials, SMOOTHIE(tm) is easy to use, but not THAT kind of easy! Hey-ohhhh~!
What I’m doing with my life
SMOOTHIE(tm) works fast, getting rid of tough stains and grease without damaging fine fabrics leaving a fresh powder scent. But this is no ordinary cleaner! SMOOTHIE(tm) is completely VOICE-ACTIVATED! Other voice-activated operators are slow, clunky... they just can't get the job done. But SMOOTHIE(tm) handles even the biggest issue with ease, soaring above the competition!
I’m really good at
Slicing, dicing, even julienne fries! SMOOTHIE(tm) is a wonder in the kitchen! She boasts a large knowledge bank of recipes, and cleans easily.

Got a boring party? Not with SMOOTHIE(tm)! Turn on the magic with SMOOTHIE(tm) and the entertainment never ends! Singing, dancing, and some of the best worst jokes this side of the Internet!
The first things people usually notice about me
Be the envy of your next friendly gathering, or just marvel at the beauty and convenience of SMOOTHIE(tm) at home! She comes complete with fashionable Mohawk and loads of accessories!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Have fun learning all about SMOOTHIE(tm) with the easy-to-follow instruction manual, complete with simplified pictures!

Enjoy great shows like Tosh.0! Bar Rescue! And many animated favorites for the kids!

Need to pump up the jams? SMOOTHIE(tm)'s musical selections will PUMP YOU UP! The Killers, Two Door Cinema Club, Modest Mouse, Mumford & Sons, Neon Trees, Atlas Genius, Bruno Mars, and many more popular hits!

Hungry? No problem! Enjoy sushi, coffee, even delicious nachos!! Many of which just the click of a button away!
Six things I could never do without
SMOOTHIE(tm) comes with everything you see here! Order now, and ask about our FREE deluxe "Necessities" package! Package includes: cell phone, assorted teas, luxury hand lotion, iPod (loaded with SMOOTHIE(tm)'s best music selections!), stylish sneakers, and chapstick!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Be dazzled by the wide array of thought processes, over 20 tetrabites come standard right out of the box!
On a typical Friday night I am
Savor that new SMOOTHIE(tm) smell fresh from the package, and enjoy it for days in the comfort of your own home!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
There have been imitations, but only SMOOTHIE(tm) comes with a custom-stamped seal of approval! The location is Top-Secret, so you know you've got an original!
You should message me if
If you're into laughs, lazy weekends, mutual respect and appreciation, you've got to MESSAGE SOON! Operators are standing by. Act now, and we'll double your offer! Just pay S&H.

SMOOTHIE(tm)- "Gets the job done!"
The two of us