snatchcraft
32Anaheim, United States
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snatchcraft
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My self-summary
Some of you might know me as Spaghetto, from the rap duo wop group Spaghetto and MeatYballs, but those of you who don't, keep reading. For those who complain of my profile being much longer then it needs to(btw,those words have never lefts my lips as the truly bright will understand once they read this roach buffet of profile.), I ask you,would you throw away one knick-nack just because you got another? Please, enjoy.

Kik- Sentimentaljunkie

"When a man speaks of his strengths, he whispers of his weaknesses"- Ernest Hemingway
I have no strengths. I posses anxiety ridden, extremely immature attributes, while being as complicated as a pop song.
A relapsing goth that often feels that societies jurisdictions cramp my fuckin' style and personality from true greatness and malevolence. A proud, strong black woman trapped in a whities body. Hatched and raised in California.
I make the shark from "Jaws", look like fuckin' Flipper.
I'm fucking delightful.
It shows how much a person wants to hide about themselves that they need a psychiatrist to read them out and tell them what's what.
I suffer from LOL self esteem.
What I’m doing with my life
Life in the faust lane.
Suffering annual mid-life crisies. Verbally abusing Siri(dumb bitch).
Volunteering at pediatric cancer events and battered woman's shelters(I'm the bitch with the snatch of gold). Occasionally merch slinging( talk about lowered expectations), and now I sling kale and non GMO foods(well, for the most part).
Letting you know that some day, you will ache like I ache.
Making astute observations upon inner reflections. Always knowing sex never goes out of fashion.
I've seen it all before, and it doesn't make you any less lonely.
So fucking over it.
Looking for my ideal punk rock/edgy guy.

I'm the queen of the North. I'm the mother of dragons. I pay all my debts!
I’m really good at
Having worse habits than you. Filling these things out. Turning money into boxed wine. Slaying dragons. Being Mass Effective. Douche spotting. Crotch gazing. I've been told I give the most amazing head ever experienced( here's a hint as to why, flavored lube and no gag reflex). Making eye contact. Reading body language in braille. Becoming friends with confusion. Observing. Candor. Commiserating. Being extra sexual and intellectual. Commiserating. Re-stating the obvious. I don't start fights, I make explosions. Scheme hatchery. 500 days of summarizing. Getting fucked.......over.
Being kitten as cats.
The first things people usually notice about me
All the things I've stolen, all the things I've gave away.
How about the first thing I notice about people? I find when girls say they're "drama free, and down to earth", they are usually the exact opposite, and just as generic and bland as they pretend not to be. I've also noticed that many people on here describe themselves as "humorous" and "sarcastic", yet never display those traits on their profile(you can insert the above Hemingway quote here for a good time). I believe sarcasm and humor have to be perceived/experienced, not told. Oh, and everyone seems to be going on hikes all of a sudden.
If I speak in Cookie Monster, that usually turns some heads. I'm usually riding high on a deep depression.
If ever you see skin as fair, or eyes as deep and as black as mine, i'll know you're lying.
Shit wit.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
If you liked the Transformers movies then I probably won't trust you. Fiona Apple covers.Hanna and Marie Antionette OST. PJ Harvey. Eagles of Death Metal. Rasputina.The Kills. Siouxsie and the Banshees. Sonic Youth. Garbage.Blondie. Talking Heads(no talking, just head). Hooked on comic books. Magnolia. Cate Blanchett should have 8 Oscars by now.The Munsters. Game of Thrones( "Power is power". How great was that fucking scene?). Paris is Burning. Mad Men. Breaking Bad....ass! I enjoy the Marvel movies just as much as the next person. I'm also amazed that made so many B/C-List characters into their own enjoyable franchises. FX is really knocking it out of the park nowadays since I greatly enjoyed Feud(nothing like 2 hags going at it!) American Crime Story, Fargo, and Legion. I own the complete Star Wars(a fan of Episodes 1-3 and not ironically), Harry Potter, and LOTR(extended edition, bitches. I've watched/listened to the director/ producer and the cast commentary and loved it all) on Blu~Ray(I'm just a tourist).Spinal Tap. Gosford Park. Batman Returns. Best in Show. Midnight in Paris. Hocus Pocus. Smiley Face .The last 5 minutes of Closer. South Park. Archer. Futurama(duh). I feel out of touch not listing Rick and Morty even though i've watched it once and dug it, but felt it needs to be watched more than once to actually grasp the full scope of it's awesomeness. Dinosaurs. Squidbillies! I re-watch the 90's X-Men and Spider-Man animated shows annually. ALF.
I still consider "Lunchables" to be fine dining(fining?), and a treat. Lasagna. Zankou Chicken(y'all Armenian/Lebanese know what I'm writin' about). Dark chocolate(darker the better, but not dark enough to make Kim Kardashian jealous. Chocolate covered coffee beans and gummy bears.
I'm not easily star struck, but I think the Crypt Keeper would definitely do so.
Tree House of Horrors always put me in a good fuckin' mood!
Currently playing: Uncharted 4.
Currently reading: .....(ran out of good shit to read)
Six things I could never do without
A great sleep(night or day).
Ps4.
I'll fill this one out later
The color RED (nail polish, lipstick, hair-dye,blood).
A firm state of mind.
Girth(c'mon guys don't be shy).
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Guys. I'm boy crazy! I love 'em(if only the feelings were mutual). Seems like all the one's I dig tend to be the ones that are super sought after on this site and snatched up by other snatchs. I like rat looking dudes. Big noses. Big feet. Big hands. I like guys with certain styles. A lil edge is hot(measured in kelvin), but not to the point where it defines them. A "True nerd"(almost sounds like a bad HBO show) types always stake my heart. I don't care for those who dress preppy or "GQ"(it really does bore the shit out me). I'm a sucker for dopey, lanky, gawky dudes with goofy smiles and messy hair who could be related to Shaggy(of Scooby Doo fame, not Mr.Boombastic). A guy in white socks and gym shorts is visual Viagra (that's copy written, so don't copy me)to me. Don't be shy if you're too skinny, because I love it.

Hearing about how troublesome a large cock can be(not being shy is a theme here).

Does anyone have a decent coke connect anymore?
On a typical Friday night I am
Waking up.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Size queen of the nether regions(that means I'm a fan of big..... but seriously, I prefer girth, GIRTH. Know what girth means, or better yet, anyone have that girth??). Is it possible to be embarrassed by being endowed(very welly)?

I'm a hopeless romantic( nah, I'm just hopeless).
People remember kisses more than orgasms. I like being kissed and kissing....hard(just like my cuddles).

I think you have a real connection with someone when you can just lay down with them and cuddle(any variety of positions) and not even have to speak/type a word to each other. A comfortable silence. Slight communication done through unison rhythmic breathing and heart beat patterns. Even though nothing is being said, it's saying everything.

I'm self deprecating at times, and just feel that I'm dumber than dog shit, with nothing to offer. And Everything sucks(Thank you, The Descendants). I want to get so fucked up on rx's that could easily play out a certain scene from a certain movie I could mention but would be breaking the first rule of by type about it. How's that for UN-abiding honesty?

I've dated Ryan Gosling, and broke it off with him before he got too attached.
You should message me if
You're my punk rock boy.
You're very well endowed.
Hybrid Moments is your jam.
You want me to be your only luxury item.
You know L.L Cool J is short for LOL LOL CoooooL Jaaay.
Taking a walk at 3a.m. sounds like a great first date. I think a walk in the fog would be amazing.
You enjoy relaxing foot massages and your belly rubbed. Staying glued to the couch is your idea of a good time, 'cus I hate the public.
You're tired of being lonely.
You seriously don't give a shit about what people think about you.Seriously.
If you aren't too cool. I just really don't deal well with cool dudes, I tend to get frostbite.
You like being small spoon.
You like hearing sweet Cookie Monster impressions.

Kikme if ya want sentimentaljunki

Disclaimer: I really am a BBW. It takes a man who can march to the beat of a different drum to actually embrace this outside of the bedroom at least.

You want to be sexually objectified in ways that'd make Pepe Le Pew go "damn, calm down now."

I could be your fat Kate Moss tonight
More
The two of us
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Dating
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Lifestyle
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Other
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Sex
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Ethics
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Religion