40Las Vegas, United States
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My self-summary
This is a test. This is only a test. If this were an actual emergency, you wouldn't be here right now. (You'd probably be trying to get it on with anything that moved... and me? I'd be standing VERY still.)

Please Note: Entire portions from my profile have been removed for clarity and brevity. Nobody cared, nor did they want to read the drivel anyhow. Hey--you. Yes, you. What the hell are you doing reading this?

I believe that brevity is a virtue, so I often tell myself to STFU.

I am honorable, devoted, and soigneux (careful)
What I’m doing with my life
If I say mathematics will you still like me? Fortunately I'm trying to move away from the 'mathematician' bit towards education.

From G.H. Hardy's 'A Mathematician's Apology':

I have never done anything ‘useful’. No discovery of mine has made, or is likely to make, directly or indirectly, for good or ill, the least difference to the amenity of the world. I have helped to train other mathematicians, but mathematicians of the same kind as myself, and their work has been, so far at any rate as I have helped them to it, as useless as my own. Judged by all practical standards, the value of my mathematical life is nil; and outside mathematics it is trivial anyhow. I have just one chance of escaping a verdict of complete triviality, that I may be judged to have created something worth creating. And that I have created is undeniable: the question is about its value.

The case for my life, then, or for that of any one else who has been a mathematician in the same sense which I have been one, is this: that I have added something to knowledge, and helped others to add more; and that these somethings have a value which differs in degree only, and not in kind, from that of the creations of the great mathematicians, or of any of the other artists, great or small, who have left some kind of memorial behind them.

I’m really good at
The stuff that other people hate, or know very little about... In mental processes, this might include math, physics, astronomy, or other science shtuff. In physical ones... Well, if you're 6'4", and built like a lumberjack, people tend to make you help them move, lift things, or reach for the things on the top shelf--yet where are these same people when I need something from the bottom shelf? F'ers. =) (yes, I took some liberties with my brackets.) My friend Jeff will say that I'm good at using my immense gravitational tug to move fish inside of aquariums. This is the same Jeff that said I was really "" during a coding examination in high school. I suppose the thing I'd really consider myself decent at would be explaining vastly complicated subjects to people that either really want to know about them, or have no business knowing them. I'm not bad at any of the rhythm video games these days, although I probably couldn't beat my aunt or your typical 6 year old these days.
The first things people usually notice about me
My height and stature. Once they get over that, they tend to focus on my eyes, which are always interesting--from ice blue to dark aqua, depending on my mood. I get a lot of people playing with my hair too. Must be fun to touch--I really have no idea.

In all honesty though, I get, "OH JESUS HE'S HUGE" a lot. Or at least that's what the horrified look on their face conveys.

The former chair of my department loved to come out of his office, look down the hallway at me and tell me to leave the hall because I was "blocking the sun out". Yay, I'm an eclipse event.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Anything by Eiji Yoshikawa, Anything by Miyamoto Musashi (ha!), Anything by Kurt Vonnegut :(RIP): (it was really sad to add that one), Anything by Douglas Adams :(RIP):, Anything by Hunter S. Thompson :(RIP):

Movies: Better Off Dead, Amelie, Super Troopers, Stripes, ..too many others to list.

Music: Side Project 7, Punk, Rock, Dance, Anything that gets my fingers tapping, ...etc.

Food: Mexican, Seafood, Asian (Chinese/Indian/Japanese/etc.), Colombian, Graveyard Specials at the Longhorn, and whatever I'm cooking at home.

Six things I could never do without
Water or Tea (used to be Coca-Cola), Chapstick, social networking sites, running water, toilet paper, my watch (or any watch, I just feel NAKED without one, and everyone agrees, me NAKED is a BAD thing.)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Err, I wouldn't subject anyone to my brain--so I'm not about to let my brain be traded. If you're curious, just ask what's on my mind. I'll tell you. You'll regret it.

Also, the following words are merely to see if anyone is sick enough to have discovered me via them, or to see if anyone is sick enough to have them on their page, like me. It is all a bunch of concocted crap, so don't read too much into it. I have never had Peeps sex, nor do I plan to next Easter. Full-Contact Tiddly-Winks must be fun, but not as fun as Sunday Brunch at the Morgue, which must be awful. My millionaire grandparents are cheap. The number Pi is equal to exactly 3, well, at least some civilizations thought so. It is much closer to the accepted value of 3.1415926535897932384626433..., at least it was accepted on a Computer Science (Fortran 77) exam of mine many moons ago. Is that enough for you? STFU. Okay, Toby.

On a typical Friday night I am
Specifically: thinking about what to write for this portion of my profile.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My left big toenail is painted metallic pink. There's a reason. You'd have to ask. Of course that's not too private, but I don't typically hold back on the private stuff to anyone who knows me. Thank someone close that you don't know me, so I don't divulge things of a private nature to you.

{CORRECTION, it's now unpainted... I'd hate for you to think that you'd done all this due diligence, meet me, and see that I've lied about my toenail color!}

You should message me if
You've read this far down!


IF and ONLY IF you understand that we can only be friends, and you think it'd be a hoot if we were (and that my wife wouldn't mind... so, she better like you, too!).

Most people just write to complain about my test on here... (kidding--12,000 takers so far, about 50 comments/requests for answers, and only about 5 complaints on questions)

For those of you who are looking to write and/or bitch at me about "The EXTREMELY advanced MATH Test" (found at or somewhere on my profile...) I'll be happy to email you the link to the answers/scoring guide after you take it...

I just don't want to delete or hide my profile because then my test goes byebye.
The two of us