34 Warrensburg, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I am high strung, and I hate life. I have no sense of humor, and I hate baby animals. I'm the kind of girl who will find out who all your ex girlfriends are and do my best to make sure they are dead, leave the country, or change their names. I'm extremely jealous. If you take any phone calls that aren't from me I will have a panic attack. I'm looking for a guy with a terrible sense of humor who hates family. If you are jobless and homeless that's a HUGE PLUS. Never laugh at my jokes, which shouldn't be hard because I won't make any. I like to play games and mess with people's heads. I'm pro- death, and I hate family values. I like people who are irresponsible who should be in prison, have been to prison, or are in prison. Also you can't read or write, and you think education is stupid and meaningless. I really like liars and cheaters. Oh and fake people, I like them too.

The above paragraph was created by saying the opposite of what 99.9% of people say about themselves and the people they are looking for. If you didn't figure that out before you got to this paragraph just don't bother, and buy yourself the extra drink. It's on me.

Actual things about me.

-I'm a professor and a coach, and sometimes athlete.
-I FREAKING RULE AT LIFE!!!! but only on Tuesdays. The rest of the time I'm humble demure, and bake pies in the kitchen.
-I work in theatre. I make costumes and sceneries.
-I rarely sleep. I like crazy adventures and pretending to drive to Princeton in the middle of the night.
-I love to cook and bake.
-I'm no longer coming to terms with being a New Jersey resident. A recovering new jerseyite.
-I have been arrested
-I'm considering playing D&D but restricting it to socially acceptable attractive people
-I am wonder woman.
-I am Sarcastic, and have large feet
-I *do* think I'm cooler than you.
What I’m doing with my life
See Above. I do theatre. I design costumes and scenery. I plan on continuing to do this. In theatres everywhere. But not like the kind with the previews with the guy that says "In a world Where... (some improbably stupid scenario)" (vampire midgets have taken over the supermarkets, there was! TALL NON VAMPIRE GUY!!!!!.)
I’m really good at
EVERYTHING, cept bowling, modesty, telling the truth, and volleyball.
The first things people usually notice about me
I have three arms... and two heads. In other words- I think this is a ridiculous and completely subjective question. Sometimes it's that i'm covered in paint. Others, that I'm very loud. Sometimes it's that I have knives on my feet, and sometimes, just sometimes, I turn into a dragon.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Food- Pretty much all of it. Yeah, I like the fancy restaurants, and WAWA sandwiches. My apartment has transformed into a diner for wayward recent college grads who are hungry and passed out on my floor.

Music- Just pretend there is a giant paragraph here of bands you've never heard of, and assume my taste in music is both sophisticated and fun.

Movies- Metropolis. Aaaaaaaand Better off Dead.

T.V.- I like the show with the thing that bounces around the screen and says "no signal"

Books- *pretentiously long list of books you've never read either.* I like books, I really do, but they are addictive you see, and then I don't work. So I listen to them. While working
The six things I could never do without
Blood cells. 46 chromosomes. My frontal lobe. Amino Acids. Water. Fun.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to regrow my hymen by playing dungeons and dragons.
On a typical Friday night I am
Making food for the drunk people in my house.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I peed my pants in high school during a cross country race.
You should message me if
You have something interesting to say to me.
You are a scientist.
You want to bring me a latte.
One of three will do. I ain't too picky.