36Manhattan, United States
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My self-summary
I was recently told that I sound like a creep based on my profile. Instead of putting effort into not sounding creepy I will be as accurate as possible. Yes, years ago I chose my user name to frighten a friend who had joined (imagine receiving messages from a stranger who gradually reveals more and more knowledge of your personal details--hilarious, no?). No, not really. Making light of stalking, or any form of violence and intimidation against women is distasteful, and aids in normalizing misogyny. Anyway, I enjoy people watching; I'm curious about people (not a stalker).

But I will not be evasive: if I could, I would invade people's privacy not for the sake of sexual gratification, but to observe the poignant, mundane, and poignantly mundane moments of their lives. I now realize this is an easy way to people watch and know a little more about the people whose faces I find compelling without threat or transgression. I like reading faces and what people write about themselves.

I also assume that this website's matching algorithm will lead me to people like me, men and women, and I'm curious about people like me. Are they monstrous? Are personality flaws expressed between the lines and in their preferences? Will I discover that I dislike people who are like me? etc. I am reading about you because I desire understanding and enjoy these questions, not because I desire you sexually; I do not dare think that any interaction would lead to real intimacy, or I should say, actual copulation. It is interesting to read the sexual frustrations of my fellow men expressed as earnest or witty compliments to women on the internet. Almost as interesting as women who would provide outlet to that same and self-same sexual frustration on the internet. I never knew women existed like you; I suspect that many of you are actually men. Can life-sustaining, and not merely life-begetting, intimacy be achieved here?

But at the risk of sounding fatuous, it is heartwarming to see people who have not had their looks be either a crutch or a handicap, who challenge superficial judgment, and have developed into interesting and decent people (as far as their profiles, personality flags, and preferences can indicate). It is also a relief to be reminded that there are other people out there, whose differences would be less difficult to surmount, whose words construct a fully formed human that almost seems warm to the touch, and who like me could be said to have no 'real' business being here. But we are here. My heart goes out to all of you, you are all fascinating, beautiful, and deserve happiness and respect.
What I’m doing with my life
Being overeducated and underemployed.
I’m really good at
Attracting the attentions of gay men... apparently. Being ambushed by my cat and feigning surprise and terror for her sake.

Update: Neither occurs with any regularity now due to a universal indifference. I now merely excel at making innocuous situations intolerable and awkward.
The first things people usually notice about me
Birth control glasses. Overdue for haircut.

Thinning hairline???
Receding hairline confirmed

I will die alone.
Six things I could never do without
1. Dental floss 2. Tongue scraper 3. A diet high in indigestible
cellulose. Actually, those are things people in general should never do without. And "indigestible cellulose" is tautological. 4.
Material distractions from the overwhelming futility of my
existence. 5. Empty pleasures to compensate for my spiritual, emotional, and ethical bankruptcy. 6. Optimism
I spend a lot of time thinking about

Cheese and onions

On a typical Friday night I am
Slow dancing with myself to 'Clair de Lune' until I collapse onto a settee from sheer physical and emotional exhaustion.

On Facebook, looking at the wedding pictures of ex-girlfriends.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am an atheist with at best a confused belief in the imitation of Christ, and at worst a messianic complex.

I enjoy pissing upon rivers.

I am not Jesus Christ. I've come to accept that.

I recently found my virginity.
You should message me if
You're a sexy witch with a speciality in hexes.

Our match percentages are in the high 90s. Let's get married and produce offspring immediately. Through heredity and upbringing, they too will have match percentages in the 90s and we will have a highly matched existence involving color coordinated sweatshirts and maybe a family band. Oh no the circle won't be broken by and by lord by and by.

Your ideal relationship resembles that of the blood fluke.
The two of us