59 Longmont, United States
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My self-summary
Trolling the internet I found an article about "The Top Ten Reasons I'd Be Your Best Girlfriend Ever." And I read it and thought, well you don't want to know what I think. The whole thing was a bit long for a profile but I'll put the top five reasons for you to think over.


5. You will never see me roll my eyes at you when you say something because I will respect you. [Men want respect and even small signs of disrespect will drive a man away from you. Try that shit in public and I advise the man to walk away immediately without regret.]

4. You will see my smile far more often than my frown. [Negative feelings are mostly unnecessary drama for men. As the Swedes say about a good woman – she should be happy, horny, and grateful]

3. You will find yourself thinking seriously about my observations on life and current events. [Many men won’t well tolerate a woman who only knows shopping and reality TV.]

2. You won’t be holding my purse at the shoe store. You won’t even BE at the shoe store with me. [Do you see that bored chump in the shoe store holding his girl’s purse? ‘Nuff said.]

1. You rarely, if ever, hear these awful words: “I’m not in the mood”. [Deny sex too often and he will deny or break his commitment. Go ahead ladies, try it. If he still sticks around anyway then you will quickly learn to loathe him.]

Well, what do you think about that? Does that fulfill your requirements? Except for number one, I don't think so. But in the spirit of full disclosure I'll give you my top five reasons why I would be your best girlfriend ever.


5. You will never ever hear me whine about how many action and science fiction movies we see. Because I love them too! And I won’t drag to you chick flicks because I despise them. Okay, I will watch Kate and Leopold when it rolls around on cable but I won’t insist you watch it with me.

4. I won’t eat all your cereal or drink all your milk. The reason is simple. I eat gluten free and am lactose intolerant so your cereal and milk is safe from me.

3. I qualify for senior discounts at many restaurants and movie theaters.

2. I have a passport, driver's license, current car insurance and can pay my own bail.

1. You’d never hear “I’m not in the mood.” Life really is too short.[Note: This doesn’t mean we’ll do the horizontal mambo on the first or even second date. Sorry.]

Please be someone close to Longmont, age appropriate, AND have an actual picture of your handsome face in your profile. LIfe is too short to weed through the scammers and married men.

Sorry to set the bar so impossibly high, but a girl wants what a girl wants.


Now far be it from me to cut the swag in your swagger but having been the recipient of a fair number of emails here I'd like to offer a few helpful hints on getting a girl's interest. Even if you don't send me a lovely message, these little tips might be helpful with others. Things are far different than when you first started dating, and your studly pictures do not confer all you have to offer. Consider this a PSA.

1. ) Please do say more than "Hi," as an introduction. If you can't, then inadvertently you give the impression that you can't muster the energy to pick yourself from the couch let alone go on a date (which is, after all, the point of dating sites.)

2.) Please don't get too personal, too fast. Women rarely like the "Hi, beautiful," or "Hi, sexy," first words. You may think that a compliment will help here, but it doesn't. Women are well aware that you are looking at a bunch of other women at the same time, and that you are using the same approach with all of them. Hardly makes us feel special.

3.) Please read her profile and respond to something she says in it. It shows initiative and interest, two prime qualities that a woman appreciates.

4.) Please ask questions and show interest in what she has to say. If you don't, whether it's true or not, you seem self absorbed. Shocking, I know, but words convey only 7% of all communication, so on the internet you need to jam pack those words with meaning to put across your message.

5.) Save the sexting and sex talk until after you meet. Women are well aware that you are looking for sex. That's been hammered home to us since we saw you cover your boners with your books in school. What we want to determine is if we want to have sex with you and, unfortunately for you guys, that's until after we've assessed your other fine qualities. So give us gals a chance to know you first. You might be pleasantly surprised.

NOTE (And this may be important to you) : I'm on an extended visit to Longmont and will be here this time around through the third week of November. I return quite often.
What I’m doing with my life
I write for a living. Yeah, there are some people that do that. Mainly I write other people's books for them. Ssssh, I can't talk about it. I'd have to kill you if I did. (Ooops, sorry, writer's imagination at work. Pay no attention to that.)
I’m really good at
Cooking. Baking. Reading strange glyphs on a piece of paper and telling you the story of your life. And apparently, buying the same color of shoe over and over again. What's up with that?
The first things people usually notice about me
My lovely Irish eyes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Exotic foods from foreign lands, junk foods, salads
Science fiction
Rock (all kinds except very heavy metal) and New Age. (What can I say. I'm a woman of extremes,)
Favorite Movies: (And there are many more, but) The Last Samurai, and Practical Magic.
The six things I could never do without
high speed internet
cell phone
That's it, I'm pretty low maintenance
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The nature of the Universe and the next piece I'm will write.

Why you guys feel the need to put in your profile that you are looking for an "affectionate" woman. Isn't that rather the point?
On a typical Friday night I am
Writing. (sigh)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have bad restaurant karma. It never fails, the order comes out wrong, something is forgotten, etc. Every time. It's very sad.

What? Not enough self disclosure?

I own an official 3-D Star Trek chess set. How's that for cool?

Recently added an official Star Trek bathrobe (blue with lieutenant's strips) to my collection of Star Trek memorabilia. (No, I don't buy these things. My adult children buy these things as gifts. This is what happens when I don't update my Elfster wish list.)

But it is true I am a geek girl. And if you are unsure of whether or not a woman is a geek girl, here are five clues that you would see in her bedroom if you get there.

5.) There is a box of various tubes of glitter glue by her bed. Don't ask.

4.) There is a can of compressed air on her nightstand. When you ask her, she says "maintenance." That is before you notice her laptop on her bed.

3.) There is a signed poster from one her favorite fantasy authors on her lingerie dresser. And the entire set of DVD's from the Firefly series including the movie sits next to her TV.

2.) There are stacks and stacks of books on her other nightstand, right next to her printer.

1.) There are at least two pieces of Star Trek memorabilia on display. The other pieces are discretely put away.
You should message me if
you are single, and you want to meet a new friend and possibly carry on things to something more.