ste4en
53Victoria, Canada
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ste4en
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My self-summary
Curls of tea vapor nestled above a hand shaped mug
thoughtful cedar and fir embrace the hush sound of my wandering feet
Owl and wren reflect on the melody of my flute
Violins languish in pastoral scenes while the piano rising in strength and determination
Drums
My pen carves the texture of words into a poem

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Calm, creative, unique, imaginative and thoughtful. I'm honest, relaxed, determined, a good listener and communicator with an open but questioning mind. I'm a friendly Introvert, who is Intuitive and Perceptive. Low on Extraversion but sociable in small groups and, Low Neuroticism but high in Calm, Conscientiousness and Openness.

In my spare time I'm artist and writer of shirt stories and poems. I enjoy challenging myself to learn and try new things like ballroom and swing dance (fun but very challenging for me), African drumming, Japanese language, Chinese poetry, knitting, refinishing furniture, carpentry and planting vegetable gardens. I enjoy being in nature, either on foot or in a canoe. Sometimes movies or documentaries are nice and on occasion concerts and poetry readings are nice.
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I exercise regularly but not obsessively at the gym and I've practiced yoga and meditation off and on for many years. Over the years I have learned a lot in men's groups as well as personal and couples counseling, journaling, dreamwork, breath-work, improv dance and art. I eat good diet and am thankfully in excellent health. I generally have a positive attitude but also question things deeply and sometimes am serious and thoughtful.
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I've learned to value my relationship with my parents since becoming a parent and my grandmother was one of my best friends. I have 2 boys in their teens; one who lives with me part time. As they are growing to greater independence I have more free time every year. This does not limit me but give me opportunities to grow and learn new things.
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I grew up in the Boston area, went to school surrounded the forests, rolling hills and farmland of Vermont and then to Grad school in the bustling crazy quilt of cultures of San Francisco. I've traveled throughout the U.S. by car, plane and hitchhiking, studies and travelled throughout India, lived in Dharamsala with a Tibetan family and studied their culture, art, language and religion. I've hosted international students and have a healthy appreciation for cultural diversity. Eventually I plan on travelling more, but for now my life is focused on this friendly little island.
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I've been on enough dates and made some new friends here but I would prefer to find a long term relationship that is nurturing, passionate, healthy and mutually supportive. I don't expect anyone to have all the same interests, just an open heart and mind. I would prefer building a deeper relationship on the foundation of a friendship.

Please feel free to say hello. It's ok for women to initiate contact too!

A Gril Who Reads:
https://youtu.be/lmEbF2uhsZk

The Secret of Desire in A Long Term Relationship
http://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_the_secret_to_desire_in_a_long_term_relationship
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There is a feeling of peace and light that we can experience when we wake up in the morning when we first wake up in the morning. We can find that when standing by an old cedar, surrounded by a forest of moss covered trees. You can travel the world without finding it. You can wear whatever clothes and jewelry you want and be as driven and successful in your career but that won't bring you closer or make it stay. It is there on the beach when the moon is reflected in the waves and the stars fill the sky. It's there when we are floating on the water at dusk in a canoe with luminescence trailing off our paddles. It's there in the depths of a hug and the soft embrace after making love and in quiet meditation.
What I’m doing with my life
I work as an IT Professional doing technical support among other things. What I like about this kind of work is that it is a helping profession that provides a nice balance between personal relationships based on kindness and generosity as well as interesting technical challenges.
I’m really good at
Staying calm in the midst of a storm.
Listening and talking openly and honestly.
Creative collaboration
The first things people usually notice about me
From what I've been told...
My inner calm, open mindedness.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Movies:
Fiddler on the Roof, My Fair Lady, Shawshank Redemption, Everything is Illuminated, Little Miss Sunshine, Stranger Than Fiction, The Red Violin, The Straight Story, A Serious Man, Despicable Me, Wall.e, 2001, Inception, Howl's Moving Castle, My Neighbor Totoro, Spirited Away, Fellowship of the Ring, Avatar, Dreams: Kurasawa, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles, the Power of Myth, Dr. Who and Sherlock.

Favorite Books:
Thesaurus, People of the Book, A Tale for the Time Being, Dandelion Wine, Something Wicked This Way Comes, The Epic of Gilgamesh, the Odyssey, the Hobbit, Dune, Shambala: the Path of the Warrior, When Things Fall Apart, The Dhammapada, The Universe Story, The Dream of the Earth, Why I Wake Early, The Cryptonomicon, My Name is Asher Lev.

Food:
Japanese, Thai, Greek, Indian, Chinese, ... anything tasty

Music:
Rock: ELP, Kansas, Queen...
Ambient: Brian Eno & Harold Budd
Electronic: Tangerine Dream, Trance Mission
Folk: Greg Brown, Dave Carter & Tracy Grammer, Pentangle.
World Music: Ladysmith Black Mambazo, Ayub Ogaba, Ravi Shankar and Ali Akbhar Khan...
Classical: Beethoven, Bach, Mozart, Vivaldi, Scaralati, Britton, Mozetich and many more.
Six things I could never do without
Creativity
Nature
Inner Peace
Friends & Family
A little Yoga & Meditation
Music, Art and Movement
A good book
A handmade mug
Not limiting myself to just 6 things.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Finding the balance between knowledge, wisdom, and compassion in my daily life.

The Art of Loving
What makes relationships work:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200410/relationship-rules
Not believing everything I think.
Not taking myself too seriously.
How to help my children grow into great human beings.
The curvature of spacetime
Simple solutions for complex problems.
The melting point of technology, nature, spirit, & psychology.

On falling in love:
http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html?_r=1

"To straighten the crooked you must do a harder thing and straighten yourself."
Gotama Buddha
On a typical Friday night I am
Sometimes at home alone for a quiet evening with a book and the candles lit, sometimes over a friend's house or having dinner with a friend, sometimes watching a movie. As I learn more dance I'm open to going out dancing.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I find it strange that people in this culture are obsessed with shaving most of the hair off their bodies.
You should message me if
If you are creative, love nature and are interested in cultivating an depth connection.
More
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