stesla
34 Chicago, United States
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stesla
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My self-summary
I'm nerdy and quirky. I write code by day, and sometimes by night. I also knit and play the guitar. I like to write fiction and music. I like table-top roleplaying (though D&D has lost its luster).

There are few things I love more than intelligent conversation, especially when food and drink are involved. I'm always looking for new people to sate my appetite for discourse.

I am married. We are polyamorous. I am mostly looking for friends.
What I’m doing with my life
Living simply. Focusing on the things that bring me joy.

I have two young children, and they are everything to me. I spend a lot of my time cherishing every moment I get to snuggle and play with them.

I recently became a landlord, and am doing my best to take care of my building and my tenants. I spend a lot of time thinking about things like gentrification, and how not to do that.
I’m really good at
Programming; mathematics; problem-solving; public speaking; writing; listening; learning; developing characters; storytelling; putting problems into perspective; thinking about things from different points of view; being stubborn.
The first things people usually notice about me
In person, visually oriented people typically notice my size. I am both big and tall. Auditory people would first notice my voice: it is loud, deep, and frequently in use.

I'm not sure what people notice about me online. Most of my online friends have known me for a long time, so none of them remember. However, my survey of a few recent friends indicates that my intelligence and humor are quite noticeable.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
(a) Books: I read a lot of non-fiction, mostly computer and math texts. I also enjoy novels. I most recently read all of Charles Stross's Laundry novels.

(b) I like movies. I see a lot of movies, and I tend to like them. I see many films in the theater. I also like to watch TV shows once they're released on DVD. Except for Doctor Who; I find ways to see that as soon as it airs.

(c) Some selected artists: Ben Folds; B.B. King; Eric Clapton solo, with Cream, and with Derek and the Dominos; Barenaked Ladies; Moxy Früvous; Moody Blues; Big Bad Voodoo Daddy; Indigo Swing; Ray Charles; Carlos Santana; Aerosmith; Cherry Poppin' Daddies; Cake; Sublime; ZZ Top; Johnny Cash; Stone Temple Pilots; Red Hot Chili Peppers; Norah Jones; Regina Spektor; Fiona Apple

In general, I like skilled music, whatever genre it might be.

(d) Beverages: Beer, specifically Guinness; assorted juices; root beer; cream soda; a wide variety of mixed drinks. I also like water. Do not underestimate the value of hydration.

Food: "Real food, not too much, mostly plants." Sushi; curry; steak.

Dessert: Dark chocolate; mint and chocolate ice cream (dairy-free, only); coffee cake; banana bread; zuccini bread; fruity ice cream (dary-free only).

Cheese. Cheese makes everything better.
The six things I could never do without
a creative outlet
good food
my family
music
love
sex
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Social justice issues, and how I can use my position of privilege for good.

What exactly is the difference between a very close friendship and a romantic relationship? Consider that asexual folk who are sex-repulsed can still have fulfilling romantic relationships. I still haven't noodled this one out, and it's why I view myself as somewhat aromantic. Although that label doesn't quite feel right still. Identity is hard.

How I can be a better husband, father, and partner to all the people I love. I especially think a lot about my children, and what behaviors I want to model for them (although I don't always succeed at modeling the ones I want). I also spend a lot of time (now, at least) thinking about how I can help my wife better actualize her happiness, because she does so much for our family, sometimes she needs somebody to help her make sure she does enough for herself too.

A few other things I think about: Programming; Math; Sex; Food; Stories; Roleplaying; Knitting; Guitar.
On a typical Friday night I am
At home reading, knitting, on the computer, spending time with my family.
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