37Seattle, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I like guys who have been through some shit, and figured out how to deal with their emotions. I like guys who can say what's going on with them. Communication makes it easier to get to the sexy parts of liking someone. And isn't that why we're here?

I'm on OKCupid so I can meet guys who want to either be my friend or go out on dates. And see if we like each other. And then maybe have some sex. And then, if that goes well, go out on more dates. I'm OK with casual dating. But I'm going to get to know the next person I sleep with before I sleep with them. And I'm going to like them a lot. And they're going to like me.

In other words: If you wanna hit it and quit it, we're probably not looking for the same thing. Anything outside of just hook-ups, in the casual realm of "I want to meet you and see if I like you, and if I do, I might wanna hang out again" is totally my bag.

When I feel something deeply, I clutch my chest. I am always late, unless someone comes to my house, and drags me out of it. I have two kinds of clothes: pretty dresses that show off my curves and "things covered in paint". I can't sleep unless I'm wearing red.

When you ask me how I'm doing, I always tell the truth. Usually it involves my feelings and ends with you cracking up. I see the upside in every situation. I love chocolate and glitter. I'll drink tequila, but I'd rather have wine or whiskey.

I'm ferociously loyal, and really good at listening to anyone in trouble. Even people I don't like. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But I also gently call people on their shit. With a smile.

I live in a tiny studio alone, sans my cats; Chester and Tigger are completely gay for each other. And they make-out. A lot.

My apartment is always a mess. I work for myself; painting and writing. So, there are piles of art and clothes everywhere.

Sometimes people use my laugh to find me at a party, or in a neighborhood. It booms.
What I’m doing with my life
I make Snarky Cards: Brutally Honest Greeting Cards. They're hand painted. And then I type on them with my typewriter.
I sell them to stores. And online. And in bars from a box that hangs beneath my boobs.

I've carved out a following for myself. I'm very proud of myself for figuring out how to make a living writing. And I'm pleased that I've conned 59,000 people into buying my art.

I like talking about business, marketing, art processes, dreams and other projects with other people. I loooove talking to other writers about writing.

When I was a kid, and even as a person trying to get along in the business world in my 20's, I got in trouble a LOT for saying exactly what I think. So, I'm pleased that I've found a way to parlay that into a good job. And that now people come to me expecting me to tell them the truth.
I’m really good at
cracking people the fuck up, listening, coaxing the truth out of people, the color red, enjoying people's flaws, being a kindred spirit, judging other people, reveling in my judgment, Gossip!!! seeing the good in people who sometimes do bad things, seeing the upside, obnoxiously talking about that upside trying to cheer you up. Giving advice I have a hard time taking, letting other people call me on my shit.

watching Action Movies, making new friends, mailing stuff
The first things people usually notice about me
My big brown eyes, my charmingly acerbic wit, my cleavage, my booming laugh
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
So, my first career was managing bookstores. For a few years, I read a book a day. I follow about 30 different authors religiously. And I try to check in with some of my other favorites off and on.

And for the last 5 years, I've been using tv to mark time while I paint my cards. "You better have 15 ducks finished by the end of this episode of Fringe" I'd lecture myself. So, for the last 5 years I've watched about 40-60 hours of tv a week. Movies don't have the same kinds of rhythms or dependable plot archs. Also, they cost money. So, I've watched lots of tv and only the action films with the most enticing explosions.

As for music, my taste isn't anything I brag about. I mostly like 80's country, lesbian folk music, and smarty-pants hip-hop. It's eclectic, but the common theme is lyrics. I love smart rhymes.

Here are some specific names:

Favorite Authors: Laura Lippman, Karen Slaughter, Tana French, Amy Bloom, Sara Paretsky, Steven Chbosky, Nikki Giovanni, Sark, Brautigan, Lori Armstrong, Corneilia Read, Karin Goodwin, Carol Goodman, Minette Walters, Tana French, Dennis Lehane, Mark Haddon, Harry Dolan, Jim Butcher, Orson Scott Card, Sue Grafton, Zoe Sharp, Amy Bloom, Donna Leon, Karen Armstrong, Kate Atkinson, Chris Crutcher, Harry Dolan, Robert Parker, Jan Haddam,

Favorite Movies: Very Bad Things, Usual Suspects, Heat,Aliens 1,2,3 and "Winona Ryder is a sad robot", Reality Bites, Man on Fire

Favorite Music: The Indigo Girls, The Weepies, Melissa Ferrick, dar Williams, Pink, janis ian, mary chapin-carpenter, ani difranco, bree sharp, Elvis Costello, cake, mellissa ferrick, melissa etheridge, soul coughing, alanis morisette, atmosphere, Rufus Wainwright, Maria Taylor, Tegan and Sara, Willie Nelson, Hank Williams Jr, Iron and Wine, Randy Newman, The Eels,

Favorite TV Shows: Murder She Wrote, Homocide: Life on the Street, NYPD Blue, Deadwood, Over There, In Plain Sight, Once Upon A Time, Fringe, Parenthood, Happy Endings, Battlestar Galactica, Go On, New Girl, The New Normal, Animal Practice, Weeds, Falling Skies, The Good Wife, CSI, Criminal Minds, Law & Order SVU, In the Line Of Duty, Rookie Blue, Merlin, Private Practice, Grey's Anatomy, Awkward, Don't Trust the Bitch in Apt 23, Whitney, The Mentalist, Perception, NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles, Rizzoli and Isles, Blue Murder, Haven, Eureka, Bones, The Big Bang Theory, The Daily Show, Revenge, Switched at Birth, Warehouse 13, Community, Guys with Kids, Grimm, Nikita, Last Resort, Major Crimes, Stargate SG1

Food: I love sauces. I'll eat almost anything as long as it's slathered in sauce. I love guacamole. Make me guacamole and I will find you immensely attractive, smart and delightful.
The same might be true if you feed me whiskey.
Six things I could never do without
tape, staplers, writing implements, cats, weed, and coffee
I spend a lot of time thinking about
My step by step program to ruling the world.
Television shows and their socio-economic ramifications/reflections of society.
Poignant things people have said to me on accident, how to paint better, how to draw better, new comedy routines, my last tarot reading, Did I call everyone back?
How do my boobs look? Do I have enough time to take over the world? Is Sex Goddess of the Western Hemisphere just something I can start calling myself? Or is it like Wikipedia, where I have to wait for someone else to say it about me first? Are the stuffed monkeys I keep in the cage getting dusty? Should I play with them more? Wouldn't that be weirder than just keeping them in that cage?
On a typical Friday night I am
Friday nights are work nights for me. So, I'm usually at a bar, selling cards or at home, painting cards while watching some cop show.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I've probably had enough sex with clowns.
You should message me if
I'm looking for someone I have stuff in common with. Someone I like hanging out with. Preferrably someone who likes to paint, draw or write.

I'd also like someone who is: good at feelings. Kind. A good friend, a good cook, a voter, a reader, someone who can read people well, and most of all someone who can say what they want without being mean or coaxed.
The two of us