34 Manhattan, United States
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My self-summary
I'm a geek, an atheist, and a skeptic. I like math and weird, minimalist music. I’m very tactile and kinesthetic. I’m an introvert, but not a loner - on the contrary, to me happiness stems not so much from what I do as who I do it with. Shared experiences with special people are what give my life meaning. I strive to be kind and open always.

I am not monogamous. I build relationships on love, respect, and trust, but not on exclusivity. I live with a partner with whom I have established long-term commitments. I'm not looking for serious commitment elsewhere, but I'm not looking just for casual sex either. Let's talk about what we want and expect from each other and why, and find something that might be satisfying for both of us.

I'm skeptical of anyone who has never felt the need to question the status quo.
What I’m doing with my life
After I burned out as a systems administrator, I went back to school for massage therapy. Now I basically get to be kind and empathetic for a living. it's kind of magical. Many of my clients have difficult relationships to touch and to their own bodies, and every time I'm told "The idea of getting a massage never felt safe to me until I found you" I realize how lucky I am to be able to help people like this.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I like a wide variety of these things. Also podcasts, comics, games, and plays. I'd often prefer something new over any existing "favorite." I like things that surprise me, often by making me laugh and/or think.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'll give you two for the price of one!

First: I'm self-diagnosed on the autism spectrum. For the purposes of this short profile, that means I learn social skills through the same sort of deliberate, analytical process that someone else might use when studying for a math test. Even empathy is a carefully practiced skill for me, not something that just happens.

Second: I don't get gender. I never have. Growing up everyone always tried to treat me as male, but it never really took, I guess. I don't know what "being male" is supposed to mean. I'm acutely aware that being read as male grants me lots of subtle privileges, but that just makes me even more uncomfortable with it. And frankly I've never been a very good male - the sort of people who care about that sort of thing tend to see through it, and I think I just make them feel awkward. Lately I've been more interested in deliberately subverting gender, male privilege, and the patriarchy in general whenever I can.
You should message me if
You are kind, sincere, caring, honest, and intellectually inclined. Geeks and nerds turn me on. You like talking about big ideas like politics and philosophy, even with someone who disagrees with you. You like to be challenged and to step outside your comfort zone in search of exciting new ideas and experiences. You like to cook and would enjoy crafting wonderful meals together. (Or even better - you don't like to cook, and would rather just let me cook, and you'll clean up afterwards!)

I'm open to a wide range of relationship structures, including asexual relationships, with a wide range of gender identities. I'm open to having a conversation about non-monogamy if it's not something you have experience with.

This appeals to you: