29Moline, United States
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My self-summary
I'm the barista at Starbucks that most customers call "the guy with the beard". Your grandmother and your annoying cousin that's still in high school both probably get coffee from me.
What I’m doing with my life
Mostly working, which largely consists of telling people their cup full of sugar and milk costs six dollars with a straight face.
I’m really good at
Making spaghetti at 2 in the morning. If there were some means of monetizing this skill, I would live like a king.
The first things people usually notice about me
I look like Jesus. Well, according to every drunk person I've ever met, at least.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books- I admittedly don't read as much as I'd like to. But, The Lord of the Rings trilogy was rad. I really liked Fahrenheit 451. Plus a handful of other really obvious and expected answers.

Movies- I like a lot of different movies, but mostly comedies. I will make a point of mentioning though that I've seen Jason X three times. That's the Friday the 13th movie that takes place in outer space and IT IS FUCKING ART.

Shows- I don't watch a whole lot of TV, and anything I do watch is just what I set to record on my DVR. The regulars are The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, @midnight, Bob's Burgers, Archer, Another Period, and The Venture Bros.

Music- I mostly go back and forth between electronic music, metal, and folksy indie music. I like Porter Robinson, deadmau5, CHVRCHES, Every Time I Die, Mastodon, Regina Spektor, and a bunch of otherwise unrelated musicians.

Food- I could eat pasta or curry for literally every meal for the rest of my life and be perfectly content.
Six things I could never do without
Coffee - Necessary for life. Eat a dick, water.
Friends - Those guys are neat.
Internet - Entertaining things live there.
Sleep - I'm super good at it.
Food- I really like cooking, but a lot of people are afraid of how much garlic and sriracha I like to use in...everything.
Cigarettes - Hey, we all get at least one unhealthy vice, right?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Space, and how tight space is. Also how much I wish I could stop calling things "tight".
On a typical Friday night I am
Probably closing at Starbucks. Send help.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I've never sent anyone an unsolicited dick pic. In fact, I've never even sent anyone a dick pic they asked for. Actually, come to think of it, there isn't any photographic evidence that has ever existed to prove that I even *have* genitals of any kind.
You should message me if
You, uh, feel like it? I dunno, I'm not here to tell people what to do.
The two of us