33Palo Alto, United States
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My self-summary
If there isn't a dog wearing sunglasses and a Hawaiian shirt at my funeral, I went through life without anyone ever truly knowing me.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm originally from Orange County. I majored in poli sci at Stanford because I was too lazy to study economics. I work for one of the big Web companies, which is cool in the sense that it enables the rest of my life and has let me live in a couple of other cities for a while (London and Dublin), but it's just a job. I spend most of my time and energy writing, working out, performing the occasional standup show, and deconstructing (read: making fun of) other people's relationships.
I’m really good at
seeing over things, eating contests
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm pretty tall (6'2"), which makes it difficult to hide behind my mom's leg in social situations. Also I had a mohawk for a while.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
-In-N-Out, barbecue and soul food (Lillie Mae's in Santa Clara is awesome), taquerias (Chavez Supermercado is my favorite, but this is open to debate), sushi, breakfast cereal

-All over the place. Lots of rap: '90s G-funk (Dr. Dre, Ice Cube, Snoop), and more recent stuff (Andre Nickatina, E-40, Too Short, Jurassic 5, Tech N9ne)
-Other stuff: Nine Inch Nails, Metallica, Rage, Pantera, Tool, A Perfect Circle, Throwdown, Sublime, Daft Punk, MSTRKRFT, AC/DC

American History X, American Psycho, No Country for Old Men, The Big Lebowski, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Snatch, Fight Club, Predator, Commando, Bloodsport, various terrible romantic comedies

The Wire, Arrested Development, 30 Rock, Mad Men, Jeopardy!, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Curb Your Enthusiasm, SportsCenter (constantly on in the background of whatever I'm doing)

-The Wave: In Pursuit of the Rogues, Freaks and Giants of the Ocean
-Going Up the River: Travels in a Prison Nation
-How I Became a Famous Novelist
-Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong
-A Fighter's Heart: One Man's Journey Through the World of Fighting
-Sperm Wars: Infidelity, Sexual Conflict, and Other Bedroom Battles
-The World Without Us
-The Beach
-This Boy's Life
-Anything by Tim Cahill, Ted Conover, Bill Bryson, or David Sedaris; and any Calvin and Hobbes book. I mostly read travel writing, books about standup comedy, and super depressing nonfiction about American history and/or economics.
Six things I could never do without
breakfast cereal
a power cage
the company of dogs
the internet
the internet
the internet
I spend a lot of time thinking about
politics, comedy, sports (Giants, Chargers, Stanford football and basketball), rap lyrics from the mid-'90s, boobs
On a typical Friday night I am
-Watching an awful romantic comedy with my girlfriend and a huge bag of dried mangos and/or fruit snacks, then breaking down the depressing messages that movies like that send to young women, or
-Eating shredded chicken burritos and Otter Pops and playing poker with my friends
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and no idea where I'll be in five years. Like, none.
You should message me if
You're a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman with a sense of humor who can debate the merits and flaws of the nickel defense, who understands the deep personal bond that sex creates, and who has flawless skin that would look great on my robot. (Even then, I'm not looking.)
The two of us