37Philadelphia, United States
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My self-summary
My responses to the election:
1. America is a dumpster fire.

I was recently described as, "classic but willing to experiment" and it fits me well. A fun loving, first date paying, traditional American boy all grown up. Lived in Philly long enough for it to feel like home, but still daydreaming of other locales. Overall its been good , but still love finding new things. I'm goofy and occaasinally highly rational. Trying to figure out when people complain to me if they just want to vent or want me to try and help. Finding someone special isn't about finding the prettiest girl; I want to find a woman who's as impressive to talk to as they are to look at.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm an international jewel thief with a heart of gold, trying to avenge my father's death and finally break free from this life of intrigue and danger. Currently the potential plans include: cross country motorcycle ride in july 2017, join the peace corps to reset my life, start going to the gym in the mornings before work again.
I’m really good at
Telling inappropriate jokes...like this. Jack, John, and Jill get shipwrecked on a desert island. They find food, water, make shelter, etc. After a few weeks they realize they may not be getting rescued. Over time, men and women start to do, what men and women do when theyre stuck together... One morning Jill wakes up and says to herself, "This isnt right. I love two different men. I feel so guilty. I cant keep living this way." and she goes to the top of a mountain, throws herself off and dies. Jack and John wake up, they search for Jill, eventually they find her, and are both heartbroken... But time goes on, and Jack and John are still stuck on this island together. Over time, men start to do what men do when they are stuck together. Well a few weeks later Jack wakes up and says to John, "This isnt right. I feel so guilty. I cant keep living this way." and John replies, "Youre right. I think we need to bury Jill."
The first things people usually notice about me
My glasses, then my eyes.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Steinbeck, Vonnegut, Eggers, Klosterman, Ellis, King, Niven, Gaiman...

Movies: Zootopia, Run Ronnie Run, Old Boy, Old Zombie movies, Jiro Dreams of Sushi, Moonrise kingdom, Wet Hot American Summer, New Zombie Movies, Caddyshack, Johnny Dangerously, In Brouges, Zoolander...

Comedy Shows: Henry Rollins, David Cross, Daniel Tosh, Ron White

TV Shows: Game of Thrones (of course), Mindy Project, Futurama, Arrested Development, Workaholics, Archer, Walking Dead, 30 Rock, Colbert Report, Wire, Star Wars Clone Wars, Firefly, Deadwood, Rome, Breaking Bad, Pulling, Metalocalypse.

Food: I dont eat seafood. For realsies.
Six things I could never do without
Downsizing on many possessions but something to correct my vision and a comfortable pair of shoes will always be desirable
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What I'm going to be when I grow up.

Where I can buy a house that I can afford and will offer me an equal view from my bedroom window.

Zombie apocalypse.
On a typical Friday night I am
*Update* Apparently, standing behind the art museum playing pokemon go and talking to strangers.

Now that the weather has turned, aimless walks through the city.

Bob and Barbras, listeing to jazz

Also, netflix and chilling by myself...maybe with some froyo...don't judge me.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have a botched tattoo. Its ok, I got a refund for it. It was supposed to be a 12-inch ruler on my penis, but the guy ran out of room just before he got to two.

FYI I don't believe anyone who messages me is actually real until I meet them. So if I treat you like you may be an attractive woman OR you may also be a guy in a third world country trying to scam me for money OR you may be a guy in a first world country who just wants to lock me in their basement "bring out the gimp" style OR a computer program that's designed to get me to navigate to specific websites don't be offended.
You should message me if
You like guys with glasses, or semi-upstanding citizens, or a guy who holds doors not just for his date but for old ladies too, or if you laughed at the necrophiliac joke in my "Im really good at" section.
The two of us