"My self-summary." This makes me think of profiles where the writer puts together a long list of their self-perceived attributes. I find myself thinking about how often others see us differently than we see ourselves. At best, that kind of profile leaves me guarded, it seems almost dictatorial. The profiles that draw me in are the ones where a person expresses their thoughts and feelings, where they are being who they are (or sharing a story or slice of their life, an experience) vs telling me who they are. Do we ask others to believe us based on our authority or do we present evidence of who and how we are?
Every scammer on OKC seems to begin with a message: "Hi, how are you?" or "I will like to get to know you better, send me your email." (I promise, I am not a grammar nazi though). Or someone saying they are looking for a 'life partner', but they have written a cursory profile at best, or no profile, answered few or no questions and obviously haven't read mine. To me that reduces the process of online meets to wishful thinking or just responding to pictures. I really am hoping for more from all this.
Texting in sound bites is not my ideal of how to get to know someone (not even close). For me, it kinda works if you already know someone fairly well, but I think it's a lousy way to get to know someone. If you message me, the first thing I do is go to your profile and questions and read them, to get some idea of who you are so I have something of you to respond to. If there is little or nothing there, I do not know how to respond? Texting just does not have the advantages that face to face provides, so I wonder at the number of people who try and treat them equally. I want to see you for who you are, not fill in the spaces with my imagination (that's a mess lol). The only way I know how to do that is if you put yourself out there, in this case, in writing.
I'm sorry... the preceding may qualify as TMI (or more likely a WTF moment). I may be adding to much seasoning to this soup in an attempt to get the flavor right, or I may just be trying to convince people to write a profile. I end up writing another paragraph when someone finds a loophole. sigh, I'm sorry, I don't want to be tedious, I'm hoping for substance.
I am attracted to sweet people. I can't think of another word to describe what I mean. I'm not talking about syrup or a plastered on smile with glazed over eyes. "Sweet" accompanies some who have found a way to keep a positive perspective/approach on/to life, and they find a way to practice kindness despite the sometimes harsh realities of life. Not that I feel one cannot be angry or upset, but some people go around like that all the time. Can we acknowledge our wounds without being ruled by them? It seems life can put an edge on us and life can smooth us out. Maybe it depends on how we aline ourselves to the grind? If you manage to be sweet and a critical thinker at the same time, I'll probably fall in love with you. "Sweet" doesn't mean "pushover" to me, just that kindness is better than slapping each other around, passively or otherwise. Grace makes sense to me.
I am also attracted to certain types of "Dom" guys. The first time I wrote that in my profile, I was purposely vague (read: "nervous"). I wasn't sure I wanted to put such vulnerable stuff in my profile. But then, I'm here for a chance at finding a yang to my yin. It does not 'dominate' my desires, but it's there. It's not a simple topic on either side of the equation and needs a lot of unpacking for understanding. If you'd like to compare notes, I've found it to be a pretty amazing component in a relationship paradigm if the chemistry is there.
I want there to be such a thing as magic. I am kind of suspicious that there isn't such a thing and what appears magical usually has a perfectly reasonable explanation, yet I still believe. Does that make me "agnostic?" It seems to me we are all connected. So, to be unkind or uncaring to anyone is like being unkind and uncaring to our self? That makes sense to me, yet I fail to always do what what makes sense, and feel rotten and disappointed in myself when I do. It seems living is working to do what makes sense.
For those who are interested, I've taken a few tests that assess personality. I'm EINTFP on Meyers Briggs (I know, two extra letters, but am level on EI and TF). I test out as a "nurturer" and a "skeptic" (anyone else think those two seem on opposite sides?). It seems to bear out though, I do critical care nursing. I question authority of all types, including my own. I hate to see anyone hurting, even if they've been a jerk (heck, we are all potential jerks given the 'right' circumstances). I think jerkdom is a momentary choice, it doesn't have to be a permanent condition.
Anything I watch is dvd or streamed from the internet. I don't miss the commercials and it's great for binge watching series like Game of Thrones. I like a movie that provokes the mind or feelings vs. assaults the senses. Seriously, I think movie makers have already perfected car chases and blowing stuff up, how about a good story line? A couple of movies I like are: "Remains of the Day," "My Dinner With Andre,'" "A Home at the End of the World," "Babett's Feast." "Princess Bride" makes me laugh. "Wit" makes me cry. Tokyo Sonata, Departures (Japanese). I love live theater.
Music: all sorts (but little to no country).
Food: guacamole. anything I raise in my garden. most anything Mexican. Italian, Thai, Vietnamese. Not terribly picky or exotic. I cook. I try to stay healthy with what I eat… processed stuff is bad for us.
connecting with people
sex (but don't look for sex everywhere)
good real food
I think friendship is highly underrated. I've met some wonderful people on OKC who've become friends. I can be pretty unconventional when it comes to relationship, I question tradition.
If you are looking for a romantic tangle, that could be nice, but is rare for me. I try not to rule out anything, but if your not a guy, romance is not likely. Re the age range and looks, attraction is a factor. Age is not set in stone for me, but I don't know how to account for physical attraction, it seems like it is either there or not. I find a lot to value in most people, romantic attraction is more elusive for me. It's easier for me to find someone to like than to kiss. Even sex seems easier than romance, though ideally they combine. I find it easier to find some one to get off with than kiss, cuddle and sleep with. If you approach me and I get the impression you're looking primarily for romance, I'll likely not respond if I do not feel a similar spark. I hate to hurt anyone, but being dishonest about my own feelings isn't a solution. On the other hand, I respond to anyone who clarifies they're okay with just friends if there isn't physical or romantic attraction.
If you got this far, you are an incredible human being... well, you've at least demonstrated stamina and tolerance. Thanks for eating a strangers cooking.