29State College, United States
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My self-summary
I hate it when, while you're walking, you try to stomp on a thin branch on the ground and break it. Only it doesn't break, it just bends and then springs back into shape like some sort of satanic accordion, mocking your pitiful attempt. Then there you are, having just put a noticeable effort into attempting to break a stick no thicker than a pencil and you've got squat to show for it. And even if you had succeeded and snapped the stick, it isn't like you have just proved your manhood or anything, because, so what? It's just a stick, what did it ever do to you? Jackass.

At the moment I don't really get out all that often, but I would love to meet somebody who would encourage me to push my boundaries.

If I repeatedly look at your profile, it is likely because I suffer from low grade prosopagnosia, which is an inability to remember faces. Or I think you're pretty. ...probably both.

I genuinely enjoy making other people happy.

Treat me with respect, and I will be the most forgiving person in the world. Treat me with contempt, and I can become as stubborn as a wall. One with those metal bars in it.

I'm not quite claustrophobic (ok, maybe I am a little), but I really, really, really hate loud and crowded places.

I am a cinephile.

I judge people by the books they read. More specifically the covers of the books they read.

I always wear pants. I'm not even sure I own shorts.

A friend of mine once said to me: "You're devoted to something good. I don't think either of us knows what, but you're devoted to something good, and that's why I like you." He also called me "a dignified motherf-cker". I'm not entirely sure what to make of either or those, but there you go.

Some of my friends theorize that in 30 years I'll be the Dos Equis guy.

I am a man of my word. If I say I'm going to do something, you can trust that I will do my best to see it done, and done well. As an extension of that, I rarely make promises, and when I do, I mean it.

I am a homebody.

I hate the idea of other people paying for my mistakes. It eats me up inside.

I believe that many hands really do make light work, and act accordingly.

I believe that everything in life can be laughed at. Everything.

When I laugh really hard it usually turns into wheezing. Terrible, terrible wheezing. Then sometimes coughing. I'm still laughing, it just sounds like I'm dying.

I believe that the meaning of life, the purpose of the entire world, can be summed up with a hug.

I enjoy being classy. Anything ostentatious really, though I'm anything but.

I LOVE Christmas. More than anybody really has a right to.

I have an incredibly weak sense of smell. Preposterously weak.

I used to hate the number 19 with a passion. It has since become simply a dislike and a mild distrust.

I have a "live and let live" philosophy. As long as they aren't hurting anybody, I really, really, really don't care what people do.

I on occasion talk to and yell at inanimate objects. I don't think they'll talk back or anything, it's more of a externalization of an inner monologue.

I wear a bow tie. Bow ties are cool.

I know the words to most Disney songs from when I was a kid. Beauty and the Beast is about Stockholm Syndrome and you know it.

There are some things that are in way too many profiles, and I think a lot of those people are lying. I'm not completely down to earth. I never play games, but then, who knows, sometimes I might (though to tell the truth, I'm not really sure what these games are). My family and friends are very important to me, but they aren't everything. Also, I'm not always laid back, and I don't always "tell it how it is".

I really hate it when people are habitually late. Five or ten minutes is fine, but unreliable people annoy me to no end.

I am a gentleman, a scholar, and the cake was a lie.

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
(If you get the above reference, you rock)
What I’m doing with my life
Serving at a restaurant. Going to school. Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool. Sometimes I shoot b-ball outside the school.
I’m really good at
Apparently public speaking. I recently ranked top 10 out of 1500 in a New York Times public speaking contest. This particular skill was news to me.
Witty/sarcastic conversation.
Schmoozing my tables at work. Like really good.
Cuddling. Seriously.
I make a mean chicken soup.
Snapping loudly. It's something I learned from using the clap on clap off thing in college. Also just a few minutes ago. I couldn't give up something that cool.
Direction. I have an excellent sense of direction.
Balance. Very few people have ever actually seen me fall.
Riding my bike with no hands.
Managing to emerge relatively unscathed from bike crashes caused by riding with no hands. Which perhaps I'm not actually really good at.
I have a great announcing voice. I've been told it would be more at home in the 60s than present day, but there you go.
Scrabble. I will wreck you.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I was already looking at them.

...though that sounds a little creepy.

I'm really not sure. Maybe that I have a beard? Maybe that I'm usually wearing a blazer or button down, weather permitting. If it's cold I'm usually wearing an overcoat. Or my voice. I have been told I have a very nice voice.

So many people put "my personality" down in this... boxy... thing. I really don't understand how that's possible. Perhaps I'm just not as observant as everybody else, but I have never noticed somebody's personality first.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I don't read nearly as much as I'd like to. But I like a lot of the classics, and a bunch of fantasy novels.

As a cinephile, this would be a VERY long list. My personal movie collection is nearing 400 movies. That should tell you enough.

TV Shows:
DOCTOR WHO, Psych, Castle, Bones, Burn Notice, White Collar, The West Wing, Firefly, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Saturday Night Live, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Eureka, How I Met Your Mother. No really though, Doctor Who is the greatest.

Oh, right, music. I like music. Classical, Electro-swing, whatever's lying around.
I can listen to pretty much anything and enjoy it. My musical tastes are hard to pin down. Other than classical of course. Also Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.

Things that are edible. I love asian (especially sushi), mexican, and really whatever.
Six things I could never do without
A job.
My lucky coin.
Chinese food.
A list of 'The six things I could never do without.'
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Whether or not mannequins wear underwear.

If kidnappers take postage into account when deciding ransom.

Whether or not Bruce Banner likes angry sex.

What ducks eat other than bread.

If there is a turban equivalent to the clip on tie, and if there is, is it considered as lame as the clip on tie.

We always say we have to stop dumping nuclear waste for the sake of future generations. But what about future generations of creature movies? How else will a duck get 20 stories tall and breathe fire?

How cool it would be to have a dictionary that actually does omit the word "gullible".

How screwed over Oedipus got when they named the Oedipal complex after him. He didn't know he was sleeping with his mother, and when he found out it's not as if he was all that pleased.

How to take the tear-free function from shampoos and apply it to other products. Like nail guns.

How anybody could ever have thought the 'D' in the Disney logo was anything other than a 'D'. Ok, so perhaps it doesn't look EXACTLY like a 'D', but it sorta does. More importantly, it's followed by the letters 'isney.' What the hell else would it be? It boggles the mind.

How annoying it is that 'symmetry' isn't palindrome. Speaking of which, why isn't 'palindrome' a palindrome?

How tired I am of these movies about the people who broke racial barriers in sports like basketball or football. I want one about breaking racial barriers in a less known sport. Like curling.

Why don't people wink anymore? I mean fine, perhaps it isn't as economical as blinking, but then ocular hydration never really was the point of winking, was it?

Wait a second... does curling even have racial barriers?

How the phrase "I wouldn't give a rat's ass" really doesn't mean anything. On the surface it makes sense, but think about it. What are you doing being in possession of a rat's ass? It's not exactly something people carry around with them. So if you do have a rat's ass, I'm betting you have a damn good reason for having it, and wouldn't give it up easily. Which completely negates the intended meaning of the phrase.

When fish drink water.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy died of exposure.

My zombie apocalypse plan. Mostly it involves Ving Rhames.
On a typical Friday night I am
Who knows?

Me. That's who.

...probably at work. In fact almost definitely at work.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I think Tom Arnold can be funny. Yeah, I said it. Watch True Lies, you'll see.
I don't dance. Period. Well, on occasion I will do a happy dance, but I don't dance if there is some expectation of dancing. It's a... thing.
I'm a sucker for tragic love stories, though outside this site such a proclivity will be flatly denied and likely mocked.
I have a strange amount of difficulty spelling the word 'bicycle'.
I've got a thing for silver. It's just so... pure, and beautiful.
I thoroughly enjoy the use of Q-Tips. I have no idea why.
I'm comforted by repetition. I still like new things, but repetitive actions have a very calming effect on me.
I'm comforted by repetition. I still like new things, but repetitive actions have a very calming effect on me.
I'm comforted by repetition. I still like new things, but repetitive actions have a very calming effect on me.

In the interest of full disclosure, here are a few of my admittedly many somewhat less than desirable qualities. I'm nowhere near in good shape, I'm a smoker, and am not an overly devoted fan of the outdoors. I can be a show off, a snob, narcissistic, slightly obsessive compulsive, and at times border on full blown social recluse. I'm also not terribly good with my money, and am unavailable most weekend nights. That is by no means the whole list, but you can't say I didn't warn you.
You should message me if
If "lol" doesn't appear in your profile more than once or twice. If I can't understand something is a joke without the "lol," chances are it's not a good joke. Also, it makes you sound like a 12 year old girl.

You have made at least some semblance of an effort to have correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation.

You're the Doctor. Or if you want to watch the varied adventures of the Doctor with me. No really, I'm always looking for new people to watch Doctor Who with. Yes, I know that wasn't correct grammar. The correct way sounds silly.

You are Tim Minchin and you want to jam sometime.

You can get me an interview with Aperture Science.

If this video makes you happy and just generally proud to be a human being. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=at_f98qOGY0

You live nearby. Sorry guys, I have enough long distance friendships.

I can't believe I'm typing this, it's in so many profiles I thought it was just understood, but messaging me with "hey what's up?" won't go over too well. There are more than enough conversation prompts in my profile. Put some effort in, eh?

If you've read my entire profile, I hope it wasn't too boring. I feel like it captures me pretty well and is at least somewhat humorous.

Whether or not you decide to message me, I wish you happiness and the best of luck in all your endeavors.
The two of us