I'm a bi poly switch with a wonderful (male) partner, and I am really only in the market for exceptional people. If any of that is unappealing to you, we're probably not a good fit. If any of that makes you perk up your ears, message away! If any of that sounds unfamiliar to you, I'm always open to questions.
However, please understand that I'm not interested in people who don't respect me, or lose interest in me the second it becomes obvious that having sex with me will not be easy.
Also: Please please PLEASE do not apologize for wanting to have sex with me. If you feel the urge to do so, don't message me at all. Being attracted to me enough that you want to have sex with me is a compliment to me, not anything unnatural, creepy, or offensive. That doesn't mean I'm going to respond well to 2 A.M. requests for hookups or needlessly explicit descriptions of the sex you would like to have with me, or that "I'd love to fuck you" is the first thing you should say to me, but it does mean I generally and almost instantly discount anyone who is ashamed to even be interested. I'm not a fragile virgin statue who needs to be protected from base lust. I'm an adult, complete with hormones, desires, and an appreciation of pleasure. Please treat me as such.
Now that that's out of the way:
I'm a recently graduated twenty-something who loves to learn but really wishes she could just download crap into her brain whenever she wanted. That would be awesome. (The Matrix, anyone?) I'm also a writer who can never finish anything, mostly because I'm both a perfectionist and a compulsive multi-tasker. Well, I finish poetry. Sometimes. :) I want to act and direct as well--I'm a theatre major, so I'm going to be living with my mother until I'm forty. Hooray. But the writing is really my focus.
On a non-professional note, I'm a pagan and a thinker. If I could get paid to philosophize (but never have to actually publish anything, for lo, I am lazy...) I would take that job in a heartbeat. I like to know things and I like to know how those things fit together. Occasionally you might catch me sneaking quantum physics into my art. Or chocolate into my peanut butter. :)
I'm an avid people-watcher. One of my favorite things to do is to sit on the train and observe, trying to figure out who's going where, what their lives are like. What they're thinking.
Alanis Morisette's "Perfect" pretty much sums up a lot of my issues. All of which I'm working on improving. It's a process.
One of the things I love more than anything else is a good argument. And by that I don't mean just contradiction (thanks John Cleese) but the collision of two opposing ideas, the thorough and pressing wrestling match of the mind. I like talking to people whose ideas are not the same as mine. They usually teach me something, even if it's only the holes in my own ideas. I like the way it makes me think critically on my feet, makes me consider viewpoints other than my own. What I don't like, however, is arguing with people who think any disagreement amounts to a personal condemnation, or who refuse to accept any point of view not their own. I don't think anyone should hold an unsupported belief (faith aside, which is supported by evidence of another sort), but neither do I think that anyone should let me get away with the same, and if your justification is just to get angry, chances are I'll suspect you know your idea is wrong (or, at least, not as good as the alternative).
So if you like long, ridiculous conversations about anything from existentialism to gender theory to the Silmarillion to the Drake equation, I'm your girl. If you don't, I'd probably drive you nuts.
On FetLife I am themarquise. Feel free to hit me up there if you are any kind of sub. Not if you are any kind of dom. Just because I am a switch does not mean I have any interest in switching for YOU.
A brief note for older men: you are most likely perfectly nice, but my age restrictions are pretty solid, not because I don't think older men can't be nice people, but because men who are half again my age should not expect me to overlook that. In short: if you are over 40 and messaging me, you are too young (mind-wise) for me. Sorry.
Which, at the moment, means work, some occasional creative work, and cuddling. Also lots of what often comes before cuddling. ;)
I'm really good at caring about things. It's easy for me--in fact sometimes it's hard not to care about things. I care about people almost instantly. If we're friends, even if we've only been friends for a little while, I will care about you. I might not bail you out of prison, but I will most definitely listen to your problems and offer my sympathy and as much help as I am able.
Also, I tend to figure people out quickly. I won't know all your secrets or anything, but I'll get the flavor of you, your basic personality and your limits. What kind of person you are. Probably within the first few weeks of us knowing each other. And I'll only get better at it.
On a related note, things I'm not good at:
Talking about my problems
Deciding where to go for lunch or what movie to watch or basically anything about an essentially unnecessary mutual activity
Noticing when people are hitting on me
Accepting gifts, compliments, and unexpected affection (with rare exceptions)
(I hope that was helpful.)
Also, tits. I have them. I realize, they're a little distracting. And I appreciate the implicit compliment. But can we move on? I'm as susceptible to a nice rack as any man, but there's only so long I'm willing to wait while you stare down my shirt.
Movies: The Shawshank Redemption, The Dark Knight, all the Iron Man movies, American Beauty, Contact, Thank You For Smoking, American History X, Perfume: The Story of A Murderer, Serenity (and by extension Firefly), Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog, The Legend of Drunken Master, The Fountain, The Cell, The Fall, Equilibrium, Gamer, The Avengers, Winter Soldier, Kung Fu Panda
Music: Pretty much anything. I like things as distinct from each other as Regina Spektor, Dave Matthews Band, Tool and Nine Inch Nails, the Dixie Chicks, Tori Amos, Dethklok, Joni Mitchell, Alanis Morrisette, Cake, the Squirrel Nut Zippers, Stephen Lynch, Radiohead, Aesop Rock, TV on the Radio, Florence + The Machine, and Anggun, who I'm betting none of you have ever heard of.
Food: Anything that contains sugar. Also, meat.
(Destiny, Death, Dream, Destruction, Despair, Desire, Delirium. I realize that's seven, but it's an allusion. If you get it good job!)
I really mean that.
Recently, beauty. And why I love it. And why it seems never to love me. How transient it is. How fragile, and yet how clear and vibrant and visible. Why so many people never bother to look for it, and consequently never see it. How it's in everything, some of the time, and how often it lies in connections between things--like the fact that a tree's branches and leaves grow according to the same laws as the human circulatory system. Fractals, man. What a total mindfuck.
Beauty to fractals. Wow. I need sleep.
More something I've been thinking about lately: how we as a culture think about sex. Recently I wrote a piece about adolescent (i.e. developing) sexuality for a playwriting class that shocked one of my fellow students in its depiction of sex. Her reaction, though painful in some ways, was useful to me, because it showed me that there really are people who don't think sex is a beautiful, intense, transformative experience that only has do with marriage by human convention and does not need (though it can presumably be enhanced by) love. I thought that my ideas were at least somewhere near the mainstream. Clearly I was wrong. This was useful to me as a playwright but also as a person, because it taught me that I can't assume people know what I mean when I call sex transcendent or pure or a unique kind of good. My utilitarian but simultaneously spiritual approach to sex is not something a lot of people share. I plan on changing that, someday, but in the meantime I think about how to show people how much beauty there can be in simply touching someone, with no expectations and no ulterior motive. Just one bright, eternal moment.
(This message also brought to you by insomnia.)
I consider myself to be less a bisexual woman than a human, in a female body, with female-pattern sexuality towards men and male-pattern sexuality towards women. Figure that one out if you can; I certainly haven't.
I find scars deeply and heartwrenchingly beautiful.
I am a dom and a sadist, but I am also a deeply moral person. Sometimes these two are hard to reconcile, but the morality wins every time.
I have been in love with more fictional characters than real people. I've mostly come to terms with it. Although some of them are animated. Which I haven't quite come to terms with.
Occasionally I will feel attraction towards a person purely out of a desire to beat him or her. Obviously I don't act on it unless invited, but the feeling persists.
Hearing the phrase "Wolf 359" makes me feel sad and strangely patriotic.
Sometimes I scare myself. Because of this, I strive constantly to be good. It isn't always easy.
This isn't really private, but it is important: I do not viscerally understand jealousy. I can wrap my brain around it, but I have never felt it and I don't really get why other people do. I suspect it might have something to do with the cultural idea of mutual ownership that seems to pervade modern relationships, as well as personal insecurity, but I'm plenty insecure and I don't get jealous. Worried, sometimes, that I will be rejected in favor of someone "better", but not jealous. Meh. Non lo so.
...you like to be cerebral.
...you have ever truly loved something or someone.
...you know who you are.
...you appreciate beauty in a larger sense than visual appeal.
...you're wondering what the "other" language I list in my details is.
...you are an adult, and know how to act like one. (I can't stress this one enough.)
...you know what you want.
...you share many qualities with Cyrano de Bergerac.
...you like your ladies with a percent lipid content by volume above 25.
...you try very hard not to lie to yourself.
...you know what oneiromancy means.
...you are kinky (particularly if you are a masochist [particularly if you are an EXPERIENCED masochist]).
...you got more than three of my surreptitious and/or obscure references.
...you have something interesting to say. Eighty percent of the time a conversation that begins "Hi, how are you?" peters out in twenty minutes or less.
Two more brief things. I have very little interest in hand-holding at this point in my life. I make a damn good friend, but I'd rather not be anyone's mother, and if you're looking for someone to save you please look elsewhere. I'm not looking for that and I have very little patience with people who are. I'm not likely to have very much interest in a person who sees him or herself as the victim in his or her own life. Just saying.