MC David on the mic,
If you wanna get fresh then take a hike.
Cos this ain't no song about you and me,
This song be a song about me, me, me.
Me, is this fella who is hella swell and charming.
Me, is this dude who so handsome it's alarming.
Me, is this brotha from the streets never farming,
But if you looking for Mista Nature, then check out mah flowa garden!
Nature, yo, lemme tell you about my nature.
Being on OkCupid fa sho I'm gonna rate ya.
And if you is sweet, is kind, is nice,
And it never hurt a brotha if you easy on da eyez,
I'll MESSAGE, (what!) MESSAGE you girl,
Cos if I send a message than I wanna be in yo world....
(Broken record needle stop, new record some Boyz ii Men slow jam shit)
Girl, if you get my message and come and visit my profile, and then not message me back, that hurts, baby. Baby it hurts so much. But that's alright. I'm here for you, just message me girl. Message me baby.
That took me like an hour. Fuck, okCupid, don't ask me what I'm doing with my life. This. This is what I just did with my life. And I accidentally hit the wrong button and deleted the whole thing, so I did it from memory and I fucking did it, and I'm sitting at a bar while I'm doing this, bouncing up and down at my seat, and people probably think that I'm some yupster wannabe hip hop artist. But whatever, this is what we are driven to do in the name of finding a cool girl to have a drink with, right? Sending a million messages to girls who have full inboxes. But at least I can have some fun, because otherwise, what's the point?
In my free time, I'm an early childhood educator that takes his work as seriously as he has fun while doing it. I can crack a joke for a four year old having a miserable day, play my guitar and sing songs with the kiddos, pretend to eat their lunch and then open the closet where the food cart is, and draw ninjas for dayzzzz with the boys. I can also articulate the benefits of a pedagogical approach rooted in progressive practices, how children "decode" on their path to literacy, and analyze the negative impacts of a behaviorist model of teaching. I'm a teacher nerd who doesn't get paid enough. But who DOES get paid enough, right?
I ride my bike everywhere. Rain or shine, long or short, hills or flat. I do own a car, I just prefer mi bicicleta. And I lost fifty pounds ever since I found out how much I liked it. #waitingforhighschoolreunion.
I have a big and crazy family, and we love each other. It's a big part of my life, and some people can jive with it, and some can't. Without my family, I am nothing.
I sing a lot, and used to study music. I play the guitar well enough to play and write children's music, too. This is the part where you just fall head over heels for me. Guys with guitars are supposed to be irresistible my friends say. I'm also sensitive, like children, and animals, and I like to cook. Hollah!
I really only read books about my work, but trust me there are some very interesting books out there, that would shift your paradigm in regards to humanity and how people learn.
I listen to many genres of music, and can appreciate Stravinsky one second and listen to Cee Lo next. I appreciate good musicians and good stories. Your genre no me importa.
I like action movies, I like dramatic movies, I like a good romance every now and then. I tend to watch the blockbusters, and don't know enough about film to appreciate the smaller flicks. Doesn't mean I don't like them, I just don't know where to start with the rich world of film.
I love good food, try to cook good food, and eat finer than my means oftentimes. I like trying new restaurants, eat anything that sounds good (definitely not a vegan or vegetarian), and I like to spend a little bit of research time on finding great places to eat. Portland is a great city for this if you like rich and indulgent foods.
When the grownups have gone to bed, I go out to play.
I love a good night ride. I love good beer and some whiskey to go with it. Or maybe I'm busy nailing my karaoke song...
"Look, this online dating thing is usually everyone's last resort. I care about my job and I work long hours, so it's been hard to meet the kind of intelligent, attractive, and motivated people that I want to spend my time with.
I don't feel like I need to give too much away about myself on my profile, because let's be real, if you saw me on the street or in a bar or cafe, you wouldn't come up to me because you could tell we had similar interests or we both really liked Wes Anderson films. You'd say hello if you thought I was cute, and I'd give you the time of day if you were polite about it, and I thought you were cute too.
So if you're interested in knowing more about me, let me know. If you have good spelling and grammar, and I like what I see, I'll let you know. Then we can do our best to connect as people in a world obsessed with screens, and learn more about each other the old fashioned way, face to face."