31 Spring, United States
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My self-summary
Open minded, opportunistic mis-adventurer with a penchant for telling stories that end in sitcom-like punchlines. I’m a Star Wars quotin’, independent lady, who probably can drink you under the table. And will!

I’m happy both camping or fishing and getting a pedicure. So I guess what I’m saying is that I’m happiest when fishing for severed pedicure feet. I have a not-so-secret redneck side that comes out just when the corn n’ chitlin’ is done, y’all.
What I’m doing with my life
I’m sciencing with oil and gas. I also am saying terrible things to be recorded for the entertainment of other people. The podcast I’m apart of has more likes on Facebook than I have dollaz in the bank, and I like it that way.
I’m really good at
Breaking phones. No, seriously, try me.

I’m also good at:

-describing craft beer in such a way that I’m rumored to be a poet.

-Shopping at Modcloth.com

-Out Star-Warsing you. So much that it’s a verb. Yeah.

I’m really bad at not getting rid of this terrible chihuahua that I’ve had for way too long. Are you in the market for a dog?
The first things people usually notice about me
Physically, my giant jugs, but mostly they just notice my boobs. Also, my awesome Ewok tattoo and how uncannily I look like the most adorable human being they’ve ever seen.

Personality-wise most people notice that I probably don’t give a fuck in such a way that it makes me super unjudgemental.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
A- Count of Monte Cristo, Roald Dahl, Piers Anthony, Jacqueline Carey, Mark Tufo
fav genres are sci fi/fantasy

b- suspense, horror, comedy, and ZOMBIE MOVIES!!!

I have an extensive Netflix queue that ends in me watching everything I put on it in the order that it is queued. I’ve seem some shit.

C- dexter, true blood, weeds, Walking Dead, Downton Abbey, Z nation, Yo GGabba, Bates Motel, Parks And Recreation, Blacklist, Futurama, Bob's Burgers, it's always Sunny in Philadelphia, 30 Rock, Arrested Development, the 100, community, Doctor Who, Raising Hope, Once Upon a Time, The New Girl, American Horror Story, Scandal, Louie, orange is the new black,

D-. Leslie Hall is my hero
E- Japanese, Vietnamese, anything that ends in ese really.
The six things I could never do without
Questions about the size of my boobs and Groupon. I’m a simple girl.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
New terrible things to say on my Podcast, what kind of hooking I should do next (crochet, you perv!), why the hell I bother painting my nails when I play with acetone all the live long day, how many beers should I beer before I beer?
On a typical Friday night I am
Same thing I do every night... Planning to take over the world.

Really though, if I'm not out with friends, then I'm hitting the refresh button every few seconds looking for new comments on the latest podcast episode in between getting ready for my next photoshoot. On the weekends I'm a plus size model.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m polyamorous and pansexual. If you ain’t about that Big Love life (except less Mormon,) then I ain’t about you, fool.

I should probably also add that I suffer from a debilitating condition called cenosillicaphobia. :( :( :( (It’s at least three sad faces terrible, SO BAD YOU GUYS.)
You should message me if
If you weird the way I weird. And have a high-ish match percentage after answering more questions than “do you like pizza?” (Because that answer is an automatic yes, duh!)

Also, I love sex, but I don’t love talking about sex for hours with a random stranger on the internet. If your only interest in me is contained in my boobage or pubic area, please find yourself to the Craigslist. :)

I would love to hear from people that value honesty, active communication, and respect as much as I do.

Don't mind dating a pregnant lady.