the_ogre
51 Daly City, United States
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the_ogre
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My self-summary
As of 2016.08.16: Am only here to check messages, should I get any.
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I'm a fat, medium-tall, queer identified married (cis)man. I'm an artist, a geek and a motorcyclist.

Let me say that again:

I'm fat - no, really; this is changing, slowly, but I will likely always be overweight to some extent.
I'm also physically very masculine; hairy, often sweaty, muscular - but my masculinity is not of the fragile type so often demonstrated by so much of our media.
I'm married; we are not monogamous, and have been together since 1993, married since 1995 and non-monogamous since 2000.

If any of the above is a deal breaker for you, you probably ought not read any further.
Here are a few other potential deal-breakers:
I'm a leftist; an atheist and a skeptic; a feminist; moderately tattooed; a gearhead; a gamer; a diabetic.

Again, I mention all this because I really don't want either of us waste our time here - if any of that stuff is a deal-breaker, then click that "hide" button.

I identify as a queer pansexual sometimes (pan rather than bi, as gender is *not* a binary condition) and as a queer bisexual (because I'm concerned about bi visibility) other times. I'm ethically non-monogamous, mildly kinky, and sex-positive.
I'm an oddball; my views on politics, culture, sex and other things are often decidedly different than those of most people I meet.

I am often amusing; if our mutual senses of humor line up, it's likely that I'll keep you laughing. If they don't, you'll probably be confused. A lot.

I used to work in tech; I am currently in the midst of a career change, but it's likely that I'll be back in tech in a different way in the near future. I am also a professional artist.

I am a traveler when time & money allow for it.

What I'm looking for: OkC's short description doesn't really cut it. It's true as far as it goes, but doesn't go far enough. In addition to being okay with the stuff above, for us to get along well enough to become friends (at the very least) you need to be:
Feminist
Trans- and gender-nonconforming friendly
Anti-racist

To be even more specific, what I most want currently is what is often called in poly circles a "strong secondary" partner; someone with a fair amount of availability, with whom the possibility of a romantic (rather than just FWB-type) relationship is at least possible.
My preferences are people who are bisexual/queer/pansexual, have a significant libido, are sex-positive and have an interest in or curiosity about kink and body modification. It'll help if we match at 90% or better. Past history has also shown that if they have kids at home, things are much less likely to work out (due mostly to logistics problems).
None of these are absolute requirements, and I'm open to other types of connections, but this is what I'm most interested in finding at the moment.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm doing Stuff. And Things. I'm currently (as of Aug '16) out of work and mostly broke, taking retraining classes. I socialize, I make art. I try to have as much fun as I can - and after a lot of years of practice, I've actually gotten rather good at it.

In more concrete terms:
I'm a former sysadmin, attempting to change career paths to become a full time project manager. In the past, when employed, I typically spent a lot of time working; I expect this will start up again once I become employed again.
I spend a fair amount of time either behind a camera lens or sitting and drawing weird things with ink on paper.
I spend a goodly amount of the time left over from the above with my lovely wife and my other sweeties, socializing with other people and indulging in my other hobbies. I sleep less than I really ought.
I've become fairly adept at scheduling.
I’m really good at
Having fun.
Making art.
Being silly.
Riding motorcycles.
Acquiring trivia.
Relationships (I think so anyway).
Befriending cats, dogs, horses, mules, ferrets and rats.
Computer support.
Cooking things, often with lots of garlic and chilies.
Open and clear communication.
Ranting and snarking, as necessary.
The first things people usually notice about me
At this point, it's probably my tattoos, if they are visible. Also, I've been told:
My hair, which is very long, very thick, very curly and streaked with grey.
My eyes: they are hazel - brown shading to green at the center, most of the time.

I've also been told on occasion that I have an imposing physical presence.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
(Books) I like to read, yes I do. Mostly, I read F&SF, biographies, travelogues, and social commentary. Also memoirs. And comics, mostly in the form of graphic novels. Recently I've been on a travelogue kick.

(Movies) I don't see as many movies as I'd like these days. Given the amount of socializing and projects I'm immersed in, this is one of the things that had to go. My current all-time favorite movie (this changes with mood and season) is Hopscotch.

(Music) I have far too many "favorites" to list. A small sampling would be Stan Ridgway, Warren Zevon, The Clash, The Mermen, Jethro Tull, Chris Smither...

(Food) - Yes please. Bonus points for strong flavors and spiciness. I'll cook, if you like.
The six things I could never do without
I really dislike this section. Instead of things I could never do without, here's a list of "things 'the_ogre' will likely have with him at any given time":
Drawing pens and paper
An iPhone
Emergency asthma inhaler
A way to carry the above items
I spend a lot of time thinking about
All kinds of things - I spend a lot of time in my head. I think about my art projects a lot. I also spend a lot of brain cycles thinking about sex, about my relationships, current US politics, wondering when the economy will change again and curious nature of gender & race politics. And lots of other stuff.
On a typical Friday night I am
The same person that I am every other evening. I am usually Doing Stuff, either at home or elsewhere. Occasionally I am sleeping early, due to needing to get up at a freakishly early hour the next morning (this does not happen often). I often schedule dates on Fridays, too.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
<-- this is less true than it was, as I am now actively looking, though it doesn't seem to make much difference in the amount of messages I get.

I feel like I need to add a few caveats here (I have in the past, overreached these boundaries, and it never went well):

* First things first: if you are in any way homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist, anti-immigrant, interested in slut-shaming, body-shaming or any similar behaviors, you are not allowed to ride on my bus. If your answers to any of the questions that I look at indicate these things, I automatically hide your profile.
* If I am out of the age range you specified that you are "looking for", I will not contact you and I will hide your profile. If you contact me I will likely be somewhat suspicious, and I'll ask you about it.
* I will never contact you if you are only looking for single people (even if you otherwise list yourself as non-monogamous) and I will hide your profile. If you are looking for single people and you contact me, I will be not just suspicious, but wary - and it's the first question I'll ask you.
* If you are strongly mainstream religious, I will not contact you. If you are strongly non-mainstream religious and you're Very Serious about it, I will also not contact you, as you don't need my derision about your life choices.
* Lastly, if you haven't any photos, don't bother - I will hide your profile. If you have a privacy concern regarding photos, then you ought not be on an online *dating* site.
You should message me if
Well, I've no clue how to motivate you to click that "message" button, if you aren't already inclined to do so after reading my profile.

So, if you think of a reason that suits you, please do send me a note. I will answer it.
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